These Are The Hottest Riverdale Sex Scenes Ever

Photo: courtesy of the CW.
Riverdale has been about many, many things over the years. A brutal murder. A spate of brutal murders and almost murders. A run of murders that could have also been suicides. But between all the death, destruction, and unexpected mob elements, Riverdale has also remained dedicated to depicting one subject: sex scenes.
The CW teen noir is absolutely obsessed with sex. From the parade of hookups between sexy teens Archie Andrews (KJ Apa) and Veronica Lodge (Camila Mendes) — RIP Varchie for now — to the sporadic sex scenes of local sweeties Betty Cooper (Lili Reinhart) and Jughead Jones (Cole Sprouse). All together, it's a lot of boots knocking.
So, we thought we would finally catalog the one topic Riverdale loves more than all of its murders and jingle jangle. Keep reading for a full low-down on the most titillating hookups going down in the town of Riverdale. Hold on to your pearls.
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Cheryl Blossom & Toni Topaz's Power Struggle

Why is everyone feeling sexy?: Crime.

Season 3, episode 15: “American Dreams

Cheryl (Madelaine Petsch) and Toni (Vanessa Morgan) spend the episodes ahead of “American Dreams” feuding over control. Who controls their new gang, the Pretty Poisons? Who controls their living space? Who controls the relationship?

Finally those tensions boil over when Cheryl cat burgles her way in La Bonne Nuit in a desperate attempt to get Toni's attention. It works, and the two fall into Riverdale's sexiest hookup ever. Blindfolds are located, oral sex is suggested, and orgasms abound.
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Betty & Jughead’s first time

Why is everyone feeling sexy?: A long-awaited reconciliation.

Season 2, episode 12: “The Wicked And The Divine

We can’t start off a walk down Riverdale sex scene lane with anything other than the most beloved hookup of the entire series: Bughead’s first time. Not only was it simply very sweet, it also felt all the more earned since it followed a multiple-episodes break between Betty and Jughead.

If only Betty didn’t return home from her first sexual experience to learn her mother (Mädchen Amick) and surprise “brother” (Hart Denton) had murdered a shady man.
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Archie & Veronica’s infamous pearl-adorned shower sex

Why is everyone feeling sexy?: Archie’s dad dying in a hospital bed.

Season 2, episode 1: “A Kiss Before Dying

If Bughead’s most iconic sex scene gets an early shout-out, Varchie’s own for-the-books sexcapade deserve equal respect. Especially since Archie and Veronica’s bloody hookup is one of the weirdest moments to end up on broadcast television. The steam! The gore dripping down Archie’s abs! Veronica keeping her pearl necklace on!

Riverdale, you beautiful, bonkers mess.
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Archie & Miss Grundy’s car hookup

Why is everyone feeling sexy?: Predatory behavior.

Season 1, episode 1: “The River’s Edge

Archie’s relationship with music teacher Geraldine Grundy (Sarah Habel) is nothing other than dark and problematic. We must always remember it as such.
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Archie & Veronica’s first time

Why is everyone feeling sexy?: It's the season finale.

Season 1, episode 13: “The Sweet Hereafter

Considering the shower sex ahead, Archie and Veronica’s first time is pretty tame. But, kudos to Veronica for her characteristically over the top pre-sex announcement: “We’ve had this date with each other since the very beginning, Archiekins.”
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Archie & Veronica’s post-shooting sexcapade

Why is everyone feeling sexy?: Both of their parents nearly getting murdered by a serial killer during a town hall debate. Realizing Ronnie’s dad is evil.

Season 2, episode 20: “Shadow Of A Doubt

“Shadow Of A Doubt” takes a turn for the terrifying when the “Black Hood” appears at Riverdale’s mayoral debate and begins shooting into the crowd. Once Archie and Veronica confirm none of their loved ones are injured — and Ronnie’s dad Hiram (Mark Conseuelos) shrugs at his wife (Marisol Nichols) almost dying — Varchie has some free time for what really matters.

Yes, that is sex, complete with a lingerie accompaniment.
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Betty & Jughead’s Serpent-related romp

Why is everyone feeling sexy?: Genuinely sweet pillow talk.

Season 2, episode 22: “Brave New World

One of the nicest moments of Riverdale as a whole is Jughead asking Betty to be his Serpent Queen. It’s even cuter when you take into account the fact the characters’ portrayers, Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart, were in the midst of a still-going-strong romance during filming.

Unsurprisingly, you can feel the red-hot chemistry radiating off of Bughead’s hookup in this scene.
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Archie & Veronica’s post-fight club quickie

Why is everyone feeling sexy?: Archie finding himself trapped in a prison-sanctioned teen fight club.

Season 3, episode 5: “The Great Escape

Veronica uses her mob connections (and a blonde wig) to get an invite to the teen boxing ring run out of Leopold And Loeb, Archie’s juvenile detention center. Of course, Archie is one of teens who has been tapped as one of the bloody fighting ring’s modern day gladiators.

When Veronica manages to slip into the fight club’s confusingly large locker room to see Archie, there’s only one thing on their minds.

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