A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding has landed on Netflix, just in time for us to start decking our halls. But do not, under any circumstances, use this movie as inspiration. I know this franchise's whole "thing" is that it's kind of "bad" and nothing makes "sense" but never have I ever been as confounded as I was when caught sight of some of the decorating decisions made in the Aldovia palace.
Sure, one off-kilter bauble I can handle, but it quickly became clear that hardly a scene could pass without some strange garland decision or broken ornament taking me completely out of the moment. How could I care about the fate of Amber's (Rose McIver) blog when clearly someone started decorating the palace and then died in the middle of it?
Here's the shot that started it all:
That is a red piece of ribbon blocking off the corner of a room like police tape. How is she supposed to sit in that chair without bonking her head on a glitter paper (yes, glitter paper, this should have been our first clue that the monarchy was running out of money) tree?
It gets worse the further Amber walks into the room. The ribbon is back, this time with "I LOVE YOU" on one side but not the other. Symmetry is free, my good king!
Once you're looking for them you start spotting weird decorations everywhere, like this single decoration on a single lamp in the middle of an empty kitchen.
In this one, they just tied a piece of garland around a statue's waist.
Who puts a wreath over top of a framed picture??
Why is there garland ON ONE SIDE OF THE HALL'S BALCONIES AND NOT THE OTHER?
You can SEE THE BLUE GAFFERS TAPE USED ON SET ON THE LEFT CORNER OF THE RUG:
LIKE IS THIS MOVIE MESSING WITH US? ONLY ONE HALF OF THE STAR ON THE RIGHT IS LIT UP I'M LKSGLDHGLSDKhgldsg.skagsl!!!
It's the holiday season, so I'm trying to be forgiving, but also this is an affront to both me and Santa and possibly God, though I cannot speak for Him. All I can say is yes, I devoured all 90 minutes of this new Netflix movie, and there's one question that remains: when's the quickest flight to Aldovia? I have some tinsel to hang.