Kylie Jenner's Sure Been Sitting On Her Vlog For A While

As someone who can tell you precisely what happened at TanaCon and for some reason still knows what's going on with Logan Paul, I do not take the word "vlog" lightly. There's nothing I love more than getting up close and personal with a stranger for six to ten minutes at a time, which is why I practically fell out of my god-dang CHAIR a few weeks ago when Kylie Jenner tweeted that she had filmed her first vlog. Jenner significantly (at least, to me) chose the vlog format to officially announce the birth of her daughter Stormi Webster, giving us access to the pregnancy journey she had concealed up until a few days after it was over, and I hoped this meant her pivot to YouTube was nigh. On July 11, Jenner tweeted "i filmed my first vlog!!!" And yet, here I sit, vlogless.

In the words of Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri: THREE FULL WEEKS/AND STILL NO VLOG?/HOW COME KYLIE JENNER?

I'm mostly just impatient for Jenner's full hypothetical rebrand as a YouTuber. I'm expecting clickbait, baby hauls, Storytimes, and prank videos involving Scott Disick. I've reached out to Jenner's publicists to see if they could give me an estimate of when to expect the masterpiece, but so far have not heard back. If she needs some help with iMovie, I'm happy to provide services free of charge bar one (1) Instagram shout-out.