I am so glad that I'm no longer a teen for a variety of reasons. First, being a teen is terrible, you never know what's going on, everyone is terrified and ruled by their hormones, and the possibility that someone will try to fight you is really high. All teens are essentially felons. Second, dating as a teen is a nightmare. Where do you go? You can't go to bars.
Third, promposals are now a thing and they sound straight up exhausting. To be fair, they've been a thing for a while, but they used to be the province of, like, bored Utah teens. Now Utah teens are on a whole 'nother level.
"You ask someone to a dance, you've got to go big," producer Mikki Meek said on a recent This American Life. "Which means you've got to leave something on someone's porch. You gotta decorate their car. You gotta break into their bedroom. You gotta send them on a scavenger hunt."
That's not even for prom! My god, the possibilities of more elaborate schemes to ask someone are horrifying.
Now, the promposal possibilities include running 5.5 miles. That's a lot of miles. An Ohio cross country teen did the route on running app Strava to ask his date to go to the dance with him. Look at this teen go.
Teen Joran Fuller tells ABC that he got the inspiration from fellow exercise enthusiasts.
"I'd seen on Strava some different Strava art things where in big cities cyclists would map out these big elaborate designs," Joran told the site. "That inspired me a little bit but I'd never seen somebody do words."
Apparently Fuller didn't stop there.
“He actually stopped by that day to bring me some food because I wasn’t feeling well, and he told me to check Strava and I saw it,” Short tells BuzzFeed.
That's quality promposing. (She said yes.) I need an oxygen tank.