You know how a lot of buildings just skip the 13th floor altogether because it's "bad luck"? If you asked enough single and coupled people their opinions on February 14th, there's a good chance many of them would agree that we should just pretend Valentine's Day doesn't exist, either. No matter what your relationship status is, it's normal to feel weird feels about the Hallmark holiday.
Being in a relationship doesn't mean you're immune to the bummed out feelings that may bubble up, and most of it has to do with the hype, says Sari Cooper, LCSW, an individual and couples therapist. "The pressure to create a special occasion frequently ends up causing people to plan something splashy that doesn’t necessarily align with their authentic self," Cooper says. And even if people want a splash and get it, that can lead to a bit of an unexpected let down afterwards, she says.
Valentine's Day also just taps on an already sensitive nerve, says Samantha Burns, a licensed mental health counselor and dating coach. "The holiday can really fall flat for unhappy couples, who may use V-Day as a Band-Aid to their underlying disconnection — but one day of chocolates and roses won't fix the cracks in your relationship," she says.
Experts seem to agree that you should just do you on Valentine's Day, whatever that may mean — alone, with your partner (if you have one), or with multiple partners. But at the end of the day, Valentine's Day is just another day that comes with waves of positive and negative emotions. Here are a few things you can do or tell yourself if you're feeling low on Valentine's Day, starting with the biggest one: You're not alone.