Fear Not, Kenzo Is Here To Alleviate Your 2016 Stress With Deep-Tissue Massage Footwear

Sometimes — only sometimes, phew — designers and retailers alike try to pull the wool (techno-fabric poly blend) over our eyes and troll us. We're talking knockoffs, "sales," limited editions and collaborations, but mostly, taking iconic throwback (or, in this case, household) items and putting their own eclectic, really fucking expensive spin on them. And we're just sitting here on the other side of our computer screens like, "Why do you do this to me?" Psychedelic French maison Kenzo is the latest of these luxury brands to clown its customers. Behold: the Massage Patent Slide Sandal, which was — ahem — $400. But the kicks are on sale, and now you can now cop a pair for $160.80. The shoe is otherwise known to us plebes as: The expensive shower shoe that you probably would have really wanted in college as part of the quest to "experience dorm life," but were too cool to live on-campus, so why would you need communal shower shoes, anyway? But then again: fashion, fashion, fashion — also, student loans? Anyway, the sandal is actually pretty cool if you dive deep enough into your imagination. And had we been mysteriously wealthy street style icons when we first stumbled upon this golden egg of extra-ness, we'd shell out some serious dough on this chic foot massager — for sure. (Especially after the year we've just endured.) Alas, we'll leave this one for the editors and bloggers who've probably already been gifted these gems. Maybe we'll spot a pair at London Fashion Week, or in line at the DMV, or something. These do look pretty easy for dealing with TSA, actually. And damn, do they look comfortable, don't they?