Warning: Spoilers ahead for season 5 of House of Cards.
Frank Underwood is a degenerate. It's not enough that he messes with the election process, steals the presidency, and basically murders anyone in his way. No, he also has to repeat the egregious misstep as he did last season. What an asshole. We see you, Frank — you won't get away with this!
This story was originally published on March 8, 2016.
Season 4 of House of Cards has been tumultuous. I don't know how far you've gotten, so I won't say too much. (If you're looking for somewhere to commiserate, head over to R29 Binge Club.) But the hands-down most troubling moment comes fairly early on in the season, in episode 2.
First, Lady Claire Underwood (Robin Wright) has sent a note to President Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey) informing him of her intent to file for divorce — Frank doesn't want her running for office just yet, and she counters by threatening to divorce him while he's in the middle of running for a second term in the White House. He seems to convince her to hold off on the divorce papers, suggesting she wait until he gets re-elected before starting her own campaign. She agrees to think things over back in her hometown of Dallas, and then we cut to Frank in his kitchen.
He's hungry after all that arguing, and he'd like to tell us (breaking the fourth wall, in HoC tradition) about his childhood friend Walter Ryson, who hung out in a tree on the Underwoods' property until Frank took an axe to it. How about a nice peanut butter and jelly sandwich? That sure would hit the spot.
He's a grown-up, so he grabs a knife and a plate on which to enjoy his grub like an adult. Cool. We're on board.
He opens up the peanut butter jar, seemingly delighted with himself for manipulating Claire and managing to find all the ingredients for the sandwich he's about to eat. How smug he is in this moment!
He even gets a little bit of the fixings on his fingers. And, since he's cooking for one, it's totally fine to lick it off! You live your best life, Frank.
And we're off. We've got a healthy dollop of peanut butter on the knife. This sandwich is gonna be great! Though, at this point, I'm increasingly concerned for Walter Ryson.
He spreads that PB all over that piece of bread. Yum!
Wait, why are you looking at me like that? Frank? Why do you have just one knife? That knife is already covered in peanut butter. Surely you intend on wiping it off, at least, before dipping it in that jam jar. I mean, I know you can be ruthless, but you must have retained some of your humanity.
FRANK. NO. That knife is already covered in peanut butter, and you just STICK it in the jam? You're already on Claire's shit list. How do you think this is gonna go when she opens up the jam jar and it's got bits of peanut butter in it? You think that's gonna help you? And of course she'll know it was you. This is one scandal you can't blame on someone else.
I can't believe you're just smearing that jam on that bread as if nothing's happened. I'd also like to take this opportunity to tell you your proportions are terrible. There isn't possibly enough PB or J to make this a delicious combination.
Wow. Honestly, this is the most barbaric thing I've seen on House of Cards in a while.
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