Kanye’s rants have always been awesome in the archaic sense of the word. Whether he’s expounding on Pusha T’s merits into a live mic at a listening party, going H.A.M. on Twitter, or losing his mind on, uh, Twitter, he’s never one to pull punches. So it should come as little surprise that his Saturday Night Live performance included a little backstage Kan-ologue (that’s a Kanye monologue, of course). While “Ultralight Beam” went off more or less without a hitch, backstage was like a Will Smith romantic vehicle from 2005. Rumors surfaced today that Kanye nearly walked off set after his stage had been tampered with at the last moment, ET reports. And now we have audio recording to back up that claim, courtesy of Page Six. Some caveats: the audio is low-quality and the speaker never identifies himself, but it's someone who sounds a lot like Kanye West, using a lot of the same references that Kanye West uses, ranting about a situation a lot like the one that Kanye West found himself in a few days prior. After the speaker says that he’s “bummed” that they “took his stage off at SNL,” he calls Taylor Swift a “fake-ass.” The Kanologue is about a minute long. It starts out as a psych-up speech and then goes full-bore: “Are they fucking crazy? Whoa by 50 percent. Stanley Kubrick, Picasso, Apostle Paul, fucking Picasso and Escobar. By 50 percent more influential than any other human being. Don’t fuck with me. Don’t fuck with me. Don’t fuck with me. By 50 percent dead or alive, by 50 percent for the next 1,000 years. Stanley Kubrick, ‘Ye.” OK, Kanye (allegedly). We won’t fuck with you. Or with Stanley Kubrick.