Dolls Have Gotten A LOT Weirder Since You Were A Kid

Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
In a lot of ways, dolls have been improving over the last few years. Some are now created with different illnesses and disabilities to help kids facing those challenges feel less alone. But, some dolls filling toy store shelves today are, well, pretty odd.
Every decade has a few unsettling toys. What's Her Face still haunts the dreams of '90s kids. And My Size Bride Barbie is begging for its own horror movie. Kids today can play with the creepiest possible princesses and mythical creatures that got the Frankenstein treatment. Really, these dolls won't be any more scarring than watching Tamagotchis die over and over. But if you still don't want to pick one up for your niece, you can probably still get a Kirsten or Samantha on eBay.
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Photo Courtesy of: Mattel.
So many things are happening here...

So, to start, we have a super glamorous centaur who likes to wear leg warmers on exactly half of her legs and has the flexibility to use a curling iron on her tail. But there are also wings. And what might appear to be a unicorn horn is actually a Mohawk.

(Monster High® Fright-Mares™ Flara Blaze™ Doll, $9.99)
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
To act out all your childhood mortician dreams.

It's just like the giant severed Barbie head you use to play with as a kid, but with fangs and a spiked choker. It's also kept in a jar, like a Futurama head.

(Monster High Gore-Geous Ghoul The Anti- Styling Head, $24.99)
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Photo: Courtesy of Ever After High.
For the child of a non-hunting family.

Will playing with this doll make Bambi more or less traumatic?

(Ever After High Deer Doll, $7.99)
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Photo Courtesy: Disney.
Disney Princesses are always watching.

There's something just...off about this giant-eyed infant version of Disney's Belle. Maybe because it captures her at an age before she could read, or sport a decent ponytail?

(Disney Princess Baby Belle, $7.90)
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Photo Courtesy of Ugly Doll.
To be fair, this is what Ugly Doll is going for.

For all those times you thought "Wonder Woman would be perfect, if only she had another eye."

(Uglydoll DC Comics as Wonder Woman, $11.94)
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Photo: Courtesy of Mattel.
A viral video idea gone wrong.

It doesn't matter if you're wearing a helmet, Barbie, if you have six dogs attached to your bike you're not practicing cycling safety!

(Barbie Spin 'N Ride Pups, $20.99)
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