If keychains and bumper stickers are to be believed, Pennsylvania is the sexiest place in America. Intercourse, Pennsylvania is literally a synonym for doin' it. The Poconos is for lovers. But, is sexy PA any match for steamy New England? The answer is no, because Vermont is now singlehandedly churning out Fifty Shades of Grey teddy bears faster than you can say "enlighten me."
The Vermont Teddy Bear Company would like to introduce to you the official Fifty Shades of Grey Teddy Bear, otherwise known as Bear. It's no coincidence that the film debuts 24 hours before Valentine's Day. And, when you combine hearts-and-flowers with leather bedroom stuff, you get this bear, who's stuffed with sexuality.
Bear is just 15" tall, but he packs a lot of sensual punch. He comes with fur as grey as Christian, a rather handsome suit and tie, bear-sized handcuffs and eye mask, and a card with a small chocolate. It's like a Valentine's Day gift dipped in suggestion. Equal parts kinky and romantic, Bear is also just under the radar of "Is this creepy?"
So, what's the deal with Bear? Why should you purchase this item instead of, say, a stuffed animal holding a heart-shaped pillow? Vermont Teddy Bear says that this guy is a sure hit. "If you want to dominate Valentine's Day, skip the roses [...] The adult gift is specially designed for fans obsessed with Grey, biting their lips in anticipation over the movie." Okay, but what if your partner isn't so familiar with the lives and times of Christian and Anastasia? "Daring, passion, exciting next-to-skin touch — she'll be desperate to get close. Bear seduces her with silky, smoky grey fur; smoldering grey eyes [...] She can't help but submit to loving him."
Bear is available for $89.99 from the Vermont Teddy Bear Company, which guarantees him for life. We took the liberty of arranging him in sexy poses for you, so that you might visualize how Bear would look in your home. As you can see, he pairs well with flowers, body oil, and just about anything.