After last week's fairly slow episode of Pretty Little Liars, tonight's penultimate episode of season 7A started giving us the answers to questions that we've been asking for seasons now.
But one big question remains: Who is going to die in next week's finale? The writers have said that next week "the Liars face off with their enemies in a chaotic fight that ends fatally." But for whom? Ian Harding, who plays Ezra Fitz, is rooting for it to be all the girls. My instincts and the instincts of Refinery29's other PLL expert are both saying Caleb (Tyler Blackburn), which could mean that I have to take a sanity day next Wednesday. The following is a conversation with one of my co-workers today:
Me: I don't know why they broke all the couples up, just to bring them back together, to then basically destroy all of their relationships.
AH: I KNOW! Although Ezra leaving isn't a bad thing. That relationship is disgusting. I prefer Jason (Drew Van Acker) at this point.
Me: Yes, Jason really is better, even if their relationship was still not age-appropriate in high school. And I guess it's OK Toby (Keegan Allen) is gone since he 100% built the doll house they were trapped in.
AH: Oh, who else could have done that? He is a carpenter that left to go on a construction job in that exact part of town. He is definitely still "A."
Me: Basically half the town is "A." And Caleb is probably going to die in the finale.
AH: Yes, that is the only reason they would have had Hanna's (Ashley Benson) dream in last week's episode. And he's the only good one.
Both of us: UGHHH.
But we did finally get one big answer! We learned who helped Charlotte (Vanessa Ray) trap the liars in the dollhouse — Noel Kahn (Brant Daugherty). And it looks like we might get answers to some other questions soon, including what was up with the strange stamp that gave admittance to Kahn family parties, why Sara Harvey died, what actually happened to Maya (Bianca Lawson) — please please Marlene King, let's get an answer to that one — and of course, which beloved character dies.
Here are the other 29 questions I asked myself during tonight's episode, and let me just say The Liars really should feel dumb tonight. I yelled at the TV a lot because of their stupidity, and man they must feel silly to learn they were tormented by one of their suspects from SEASON ONE.
1. Why does Hanna think that she can take on "A" alone? The Liars never truly get answers to anything except for when they are all somehow locked in one room.
2. Why do all the bad guys escape to "France" on this show?
3. How does Marco (Nicholas Gonzalez) not know that Spencer (Troian Bellisario) and Toby used to date?
4. Why hasn't Jason fixed his hair?
5. Why would Aria (Lucy Hale) lie to Jason? Out of everyone in this town, he is the least likely to be "A" at this point.
6. Hanna's great plan is just to stalk Noel? She probably didn't need to go live in a sketchy cabin with newspaper and duct tape over the windows for that.
7. How is Emily (Shay Mitchell) going to ask if she should be honest about her past arrests on her application? Uhm, your high school principal, who also happens to be in charge of hiring knows about all of your arrests.
8. Aria dated Jason when he had the crazy, long hair?
9. Can Jason and Aria please date in the present? I am 100% more on team Jason then team Ezra.
10. I normally hate Paige, but I do have empathy for her right now. What is it like to hear that the tormentor that shaped your childhood is still after your ex-girlfriend?
11. STOP. STOP. STOP. Spencer had to call her mum's campaign manager to find out that Noel lived at his family home they all partied at in high school?
12. They never connected that Hanna was imprisoned near the Kahn house? That was only the exact place they've ended up investigating around half the murders in this town.
13. The stamp from Kahn's party is back! How do we still not know the meaning of that symbol considering we first starting asking about it in season three — four full seasons ago?
14. Did we really just find a flash drive full of secret videos of them — are we in season one again?
15. NOEL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM BEING LOCKED IN THE DOLLHOUSE?
16. Do they feel like idiots for learning that one of the first people they ever suspected has actually been tormenting them this whole time?
17. Why did they take the flash drive straight to the police? Someone is going to steal that shit for sure.
18. Why do they all need to be together to turn in the flash drive? That is evidence that proves who kidnapped and tortured them.
19. Why is Spencer bringing the evidence to a spontaneous car alarm? That is actually one of A's calling cards. She should not be shocked when that car alarm is a trap and the flash drive gets stolen.
20. Why is Hanna being so obvious about the drugged beer?
21. Why would Spencer get the flash drive out in her parent's house when all of the electricity is out and A is obviously around?
22. Spencer, how did you lose that flash drive with me yelling so loud at the TV?
23. Do they feel like idiots for the text saying, "flash drive is gone"? Of course it is. They have lost every piece of evidence in the last seven seasons simply because they are incapable of going straight to the police, they are just like Harry Potter and "expelliarmus" — very obvious and predictable.
24. Why did Spencer not tell Marco that someone for sure was in the house, and she knows because they stole something?!
25. Could Noel's dad be the judge over the court proceedings to adopt Noel? That seems like a conflict of interest, to be honest.
26. Why would Hanna just attack Noel without any backup? You are not that strong, girl.
27. They revealed that both Noel and Jenna (Tammin Sursok) are somehow on Charlotte's side and OK with killing the girls in the preview, but there has to be more of a reveal. Who else is "A?"
28. Is everyone actually "A?" Please can it just be like a constant flow of reveals because half of the town is for sure involved.
29. Who is going to die in next week's episode? The top fan theories are Toby and Caleb. Please do not be Caleb. Please do not be Caleb.