Even if you think you’re not kinky, there’s a chance your brain might be. And when it comes to getting turned on and orgasming, our brains deserve more credit than they often get.
Not only are sexual fantasies totally normal, but they allow us to explore our sexuality in a space that’s super safe: our imaginations. For couples in long-term relationships, sharing sexual fantasies with one another can renew excitement, writes certified sex therapist Marty Klein in an article about erotic role-playing. But whether they’re shared with a partner or kept in mind for solo pleasure, sexual fantasies can be pretty fantastic.
While some fantasies — such as having sex in a romantic or unexpected location — are fairly common, others are completely random or personal. It could involve bondage, sexy foreplay, cuddling, or dirty talk. Whatever your sexual fantasy is, though, it’s probably not as out-of-the-ordinary as you might think.
To give you a peek into what actual people are fantasizing about (because who isn’t wondering, right?), we asked readers and R29 staffers to anonymously share their go-to sexual fantasy — and tapped some Reddit threads too. So read on and dream on, y’all.
"I like the idea of giving a sexy blow job where we concentrate solely on him. Or just being at a cottage where we can fuck anywhere. I spend a lot more time thinking about giggling and making out." — Lissit via Reddit
“[My fantasy is] being submissive, but specifically being submissive by using a butt plug. I'm a very loud, dominant woman, and I like switching it in the bedroom.” — Jane, 18
"I am a wedding director. I worked at a bed and breakfast in wine country. The bride and groom and I all vibed really, really well during the wedding planning stage. The night of the wedding they wanted me to watch them fuck in the room while I fingered myself. I, of course, said yes, they were both so hot — it was amazing." — Adawn22 via Reddit
"I have a recurring fantasy about a group sex orgy in my college residence hall. Nothing remotely like that ever happened ... but I frequently go there when I masturbate." — Lv4myw via Reddit
"Sexploration. I want a guy to lay completely limp and let me just explore his body, feel every angle, stoke every hole, just physically explore his body. Maybe give him a go with a vibrator but no actual sex. Then he does the same to me." — oxenolaf via Reddit
"Mine is definitely having sex with a coworker secretly in the offices. Like, we'll make eye-contact, meet each other in a place like the copy room, I'll hike up my skirt and he'll undo his pants, then he'll bend me over whatever is around. Then we'll get back to work and act like it never happened. Siiiiiiiiiigh." — ExceedsImagination via Reddit
"Getting fingered with my clothes mostly on, in public, preferably by several people (guys and girls) joining in. Undressing me, but keeping their clothes on until I practically beg." — Not_liz_lemon via Reddit
"Role play. It can be a simple request, but it really means a lot when they say yes. I'm really open about sex but you gotta hint at first." — SpectralClassM via Reddit
"I've always had fantasies about being outside somewhere, like hiking or even just in the backyard, and having sex where people are walking around unaware." — FreekayFresh via Reddit
"Convinced my husband to watch porn with me while we fucked. He let me pick what we would watch, so I chose a lesbian video. He fondled my breasts, ate me out, and fingered me all when it happened on screen. It might be vanilla for some people, but it was incredibly hot and I can't wait to see what video he picks next time." — Cross-stitch-warrior via Reddit
"Spontaneous sex in a place where almost no people are but still public, such as at the park at night and with a woman who I am not already in a sexual relationship with. Bonus points for having our clothes still mostly on. There’s something really hot and intense about it escalating so quick, and wanting each other so badly that we don't have time to find a private place or even take our clothes off." — I-Orion-I via Reddit
"Worship my boobs. I am a 30E and feel like lots of guys are intimidated by my boobs, but they totally shouldn't be. My nipples/areolas are smaller than average for my actual breast size, and I am extremely sensitive when they are touched/sucked." — likeokwhatthehell via Reddit
"I have this medical play kink where I'm an experimental subject who's been kidnapped by a mad scientist. I got to try it, finally, with one of my current partners. It was awesome. My only complaint was that it ended. I have since acquired a dentist chair and a hospital gown. I'm going to get a straitjacket, too. We're both huge nerds so we're going to continue the storyline and develop these two characters." — Melancholymelanie via Reddit
"I like risky stuff, like playing where you could get caught. Not sure if I'd be into exhibitionism, but I like to mess around with her in places we could get caught. Only had anything like it maybe twice, but that’s about as far as I go on fantasies." — Lewds4me via Reddit
"I will never actually do it, but my longest fantasy has been a threesome with two men, watching them play with each other then take turns eating me out, then double penetrate me. All the while being very vocal, and dirty talking." — Ariliste via Reddit
"I just want to have some really wild, animalistic sex. Like shove me down and fuck me brutally. Call me a dirty bitch. Make me submit. Command me. Scratch me, bite me, break the skin. I want to hurt when it's over. I want to barely be able to walk for days. (Obviously this would all be consensual.)" — Rsashe1980 via Reddit
“Not exactly deep and dark, but I would like to do a full BDSM scene: tied, restrained, in nipple clamps or sticks; being flogged, cropped, sexually teased and orgasm controlled.” — Kit4000 via Reddit
“My S.O. and I (haven't been together too long, so we are still exploring) recently discovered that we are both really turned on by the idea of pegging. I've never been interested in being a dominant, but he brings it out in me — oh my god, does that ever do it for me. A bit of slapping, nails, bossing him around, telling him what to do, bending him into some compromising positions, spanking, role reversal, maybe some dress up, and some solid pounding (him receiving) to finish it off. We are slowly starting to integrate all these into our sex life. I'm a happy camper. I love thinking about it, does it for me every time.” — ForgetThePlan via Reddit
“I always imagine the same thing, that I'm some sort of sex goddess that's come to Earth to enslave it. It starts with one guy in a filthy alley, but every time a guy comes, I drain his strength and become more powerful. Then I'm in a shopping center and I'm with a guy in a clothing store, then I'm with several guys at a gym (first the owner, then his brother, then a guy in the gym with the rest of the people there watching and masturbating). After that I usually head into a newsroom and hijack the live feed, having sex with the news anchor, and having more and more people tune in, masturbate, and orgasm to make me stronger. There's a lot more details to it; every guy is a different body type, though I don't really see faces. Every time I imagine one of them cumming inside me I also imagine myself growing stronger and I feel a sort of rush.” — throwaway08525 via Reddit
“I'd love to be completely dominated. There are many ideas about it, but mostly it starts the same. He comes into the room, his sleeves rolled up, he has a watch around his wrist. I am sitting on my knees on the ground. He holds a rope (or belt, depends) in his hand and I close my eyes as I kiss it. Whatever he does, my fantasies always include choking/hard spankings/control/biting. I like it when I have no power. It makes me feel so free.” — Anonymous via Reddit
“I really want to have sex in a high rise window. Like at least 50 floors up.” — mynameistoast via Reddit
“A guy crying hard as I comfort him, make it all better, and then fuck him while his tears are still drying.”— Juliet11 on Reddit
“To get railed by my married college professor after class one day. I wanna get picked up and THROWN on his desk (or bent over it). I want papers and pencils to go flying everywhere, all my clothes ripped off, etc. Then I want to spend the rest of the semester sitting in the front of the classroom with a smirk on my face as I eye-fuck him while he's trying to teach.” — Anonymous on Reddit
"Someone walks in while I'm blowing a guy sitting behind his desk, and he's stuck just trying to talk normally while hoping that person doesn't realize he's getting his dick sucked. Or a surprise blow job while he's on the phone making an important phone call. Or a blow job while he's gaming and trying not to fuck up, while his team members are all wondering what the fuck is going on with him." — Bankergoesrawrr on Reddit
"For me, it's the perfect BDSM encounter, in which my partner somehow knows all the things I want that day, and in what order, and with what intensity, and does all of them. My husband is happy to indulge my kink and kind of enjoys it, but he has a hard time thinking of things to do and quite understandably can't read my mind to see what specific thing I'm in the mood for that time. It would be really fun to have someone do it all perfectly without direction." — Laidymondegreen on Reddit
"I like oil. Like, body oil, quite a bit. I wanted to slather my girlfriend in it [oil] and well, make sweet love to her. She accepted, saying it would be interesting. I bought the oil. I came home one day, and the living room of our apartment was covered in a tarp. Greatest hour and a half of my life." — Cynical_asshole_ on Reddit
"Being pushed up against a wall. Not necessarily to have sex, just shoved up against a wall and made out with. Out of passion, not anger. A little bit of kink. Maybe some handcuffs, a little bit of rope, some extra language." — Flaminglegosinthesky on Reddit
"To have a girl eat me out while my boyfriend fucks her. They are in doggy-style while I am on my back watching." — Alanna420 on Reddit
"I want to have sex in a two-way mirror box in a busy public place, so that me and my partner can see outwards, but everybody else just sees a mirrored box." — Berichicken on Reddit
"I'm training in the gym with a group of people, doing some kickboxing, stuff like that. The teacher and I stay back while everyone leaves and he tells me how to fix my technique (mind you we've spent months of flirting, quick looks during stretches, him praising my improvement and so on). Then suddenly we start sparring. It kind of turns into wrestling, maybe some judo stuff comes into it and he tries to pin me on the floor but I fight him. Eventually he overpowers me so I can't even move and he just holds me there. Stuck under him. He starts teasing me. Tickling me all over, which is torture because I can't escape. Then after he's had his fun he kisses me and cue any sex scene from True Blood and I'll be happy." — Anonymous on Reddit
"Have sex in a forest, in the middle of a field, on a secluded riverbank, skinny dipping. Standard outdoors sexy stuff." — Jarjar_head on Reddit
"I used to work at a movie theater, and always fantasized about a manager or security guard forcing me into the janitor closet and having their way with me. Forcing me into the locked room, pushing me up against a wall, holding me down and not letting me struggle. Not the most romantic of places, but the idea of being dominated by someone with authority over me in a public place really gets me going." — pikichan on Reddit.
"I'm at a hotel with a nightclub with my husband, dressed up, drinking, and dancing. Teasing each other a bit on the dance floor until we decide we have to have each other and head to our room. We have to take the elevator up many floors and we start making out in the elevator. He whispers in my ear all of the dirty things he wants to do to me when we get to the room, and I practically cum right there in the elevator. We reach our floor and race to our room, barely refraining from ripping each other's clothes off in the hall, then we fuck like animals until we['ve done] every one of those dirty things he whispered in my ear..." — onmymind42 on Reddit
"I don't necessarily want to be dominated, I want to be on all fours while my mate 'inspects' me. Spreading, poking, investigating every crevasse of my body. Inserting things, vibrating when I'm not expecting it. Being tied up would be a nice touch, I guess, but I've never imagined it that way. I am now..." — smurfee123 on Reddit
"I'd like my hands tied together and bound to the bed, and have my S.O. tease me and do whatever he wants. However, there's a very specific way I’d like to be bound. A bed with rungs in the headboard so my hands are both together and above my head are a huge part of this for me. My current bed has no headboard; it's really unfortunate in relation to my fantasy. The straps that are under the mattress strap my hands down at either side; it just doesn't do it for me." — Rosieco on Reddit
"A really tight button-down shirt showing off the maximum amount of cleavage possible. A skirt, tight and form fitting. The shorter the better. Put some red lipstick on and put your hair up. High heels. Lick your lips a lot, stroke a ruler, and threaten him with detention. Tell him his grades are slipping and he needs to stay after class for extra credit." — MrClease on Reddit.
"There's this guy that I go to school with that my mom's friend tried to set me up with, and he is just so bloody annoying and full of himself. However, despite how frustrating and frat boyish he is, we have this strange chemistry, even though he's everything I can't stand in a guy typically. He's walked up to me and pulled my hair, pushed me, tripped me etc. a few times and then started kissing me when I've seen him out at bars and I always kiss him for awhile then shove him away (once down a flight of stairs after stealing his glasses) but for some reason, I really want one of those random and weird make out sessions to someday turn into us having sex like literally in a bathroom or dark alley just really hard and fast, like it's something we just have to get out of the way before we can move on with our lives. And then, we would never talk again. There's just something about literally treating each other like we're four years old on a playground that is just indescribably sexy." — Sophie, 20
"Guess I'm like most of the women. I'd love to be completely dominated. There are many ideas about it, but mostly it starts the same. He comes into the room, his sleeves rolled up, he has a watch around his wrist. I am sitting on my knees on the ground. He holds a rope (or belt, depends) in his hand, and I close my eyes as I kiss it. Whatever he does, my fantasies always include choking/hard spankings/control/biting. I like it when I have no power. It makes me feel so free."
— Anonymous Reddit user
"One is with my girlfriend. We're cuddling in bed and making out. The whole time, we're laughing and just having fun. The other is where I'm tied up with no control, she's everything I need, using toys and whatever she wants (would be fun reversed, too)."
— Christine, 16
"One of my most common sexual fantasies is that I imagine being with a girl and I'm touching her with my fingers in her vagina, and she keeps telling me she wants me deeper in her, and when I get four fingers in I find a spot that makes her feel really good and she is moaning and really into it, and I tell her I love her while I am massaging the spots that make her feel best. I fantasize about different people but it's always someone that I care about a lot." — Logan, 34
"I'm in this fancy apartment. I imagine I'm with a hot friend of my ex's, or with an older guy that treats me so good that my ex's girlfriend gets jealous. It starts with me...giving him a lap dance, before he literally rips off all of my clothes."
"To be at an extravagant affair. A ball, a masquerade, or an awards show with champagne on the tables. A jazz band playing on the stage.
Being led around [by] my partner, greeting his friends, then towards the middle of the night, he takes my hand and leads me to a private, silent area where we can kiss. Then, he can slip his hand up my gown and guide me to his groin." — Ginge
"We're in a big, red truck, and while he's driving me around his childhood hometown and fields, a small smile forms at the edge of his lips. In his eyes, I see the reflection of the empty road and open pastures ahead, but I can see that he's looking and seeing something else. Maybe what he used to see while driving down this road, in his childhood.
"He looks over at me and asks, 'What?' I smile, and his smile widens... 'What??' I shake my head and say nothing. That innocent light in his eyes somehow flicks off, and is replaced by another light... A small fire. 'What are you thinking?'
"I know that look, and suddenly my mood shifts. I look into his eyes, but then look down as I blush. He puts his hand on my leg, but I take it off. He seems a little thrown off, but then I put my hand on his belt buckle and start undoing his pants. I've done this many times before, but this time, he lets out a small whimper and I start to throw myself on him, suddenly fueled by that vulnerability that comes out sparingly from this big man who thinks much too much of himself. There's hot air coming in from the windows, and we're already sweating, but we both never cared about that. The car goes off the road a bit, but he recovers, only to completely get off the road and onto a field.
"Now I'm fully straddling him, and he's getting touchy, and we eventually toss and tumble our way into the back seat between laughs, and then through the window onto the bed of the truck, in the back. The sun has set, and the sky is a million colors and hues of orange, red, pink, and a weird purple on the edges. The air is warm, but there is a breeze. We go until the sky is a velvet dark-blue and we're both on our backs, watching the stars and giggling here and there about some of the things we've done in the past, innocent memories and then some not so innocent. I feel safe and warm, even though the night's chill has started to settle in. He pulls me in closer to him, and we go once more under the light of the full moon, more serious than with the light of day, more eye contact, and I feel every single part of my skin he touches like a shock of electricity. Eventually, I lay my head on his chest, and he wraps his arm around me, and we both fall asleep." - Anonymous
"I'm in some office, probably in a high up in a building, and the windows are just glass, so people can clearly see in, but the only way into the room itself is a door. It's usually just a guy I find attractive, and he's usually wearing a suit and looks very high-powered. I'm usually wearing nothing or some form of lingerie that has a lot of lace. It's sort of like I'm in his office for the day, and my role is to do basically as he says. Often, I'm on my hands and knees as a foot stool, and there's usually a part where I'll be sitting on his desk with my legs spread wide open and he is working ignoring me and it drives me mad as I ache for him, but if I'm *good*, he'll fuck me (roughly). It always follows the same sort of lines; sometimes, it's in a more public place, but mainly, it's about relinquishing control to someone and being told what to do and when." — R.J., 20.
"Tom Felton. In Hogwarts. I'm a Ravenclaw and he's a Slytherin. Forbidden romance. He's a selfish lover, but I don't even mind. The sex is magical." — Tara, 20.
"Having a threesome with my ex-boyfriend and our mutual best friend in my bedroom, all of us tipsy — but not too drunk — on quality red wine, and laughing about it all along." — Adrian, 21
"I always have a fantasy of me and a male friend going [and] hanging out with a couple in their living room. The couple dares us to kiss, undress, etc. with each dare becoming more sexual until we have sex on the couch in front of them. It's a rush of both adrenaline and arousal — it's taboo, yet safe. It works EVERY time — to be honest, I'm getting a little warm just typing it out." — Melania, 19
"I always thought crushing on your trainer was reserved for middle-aged women living in the suburbs. Then I met my trainer, on what became the most motivated summer break of my entire life. On the days I had sessions, I'd try to contain myself each time he adjusted an arm or a leg, and especially when he made me do a plank while using his hand to put pressure on the small of my back. On the days I wasn't scheduled to see him, I'd make sure he saw me in my sweaty glow, doing squats and stretching out. In a perfect world, he'd shut down the gym one night, lead me upstairs, and fuck me on every piece of exercise equipment he could, giving me commands and counting down my reps like he did in my sessions. Then, we'd cool off in the locker room and do it again in the shower, hot bodies pressed against the cold tiles. Maybe finish off with a smoothie downstairs and a 'See you for our next session, miss' to end the night." — Missy, 20
"I don't know if I'd ever like this in a role play, but I like to read medical play fanfiction usually involving two men, even though I'm a heterosexual woman. I really like the act of one person being examined and the other one in control of that." — Em, 18
“I'm doing laundry in my building's basement and a hot neighbor I've been eyeing for a while sneaks up behind me and starts kissing my neck. I turn around, and it feels amazing. He lifts me up onto the washing machine, and we have sex right then and there — with the vibrations from the machine pulsating through my body.” — Lulu, 23
“[My fantasy is] serving a few girls at a party — being the server, wearing only the apron and nothing else, doing whatever the girls tell me to do. Eventually, I’m doing the housework naked and entertaining the girls.” — Nantes, 22
“[I fantasize] that the dad of the family I babysit brings me into his bedroom after the kids are asleep and asks if I want to earn a little extra money. Then he puts me on the bed and undresses me and kisses and touches my body and breasts (but not my mouth, which I'm just now realizing) and gives me oral sex. But I never touch him. He does all the work and he also remains clothed. I'm gay (a gay woman) and I don't want anything to do with touching him or seeing him naked. I think the reason it turns me on so much is because he's a man, and so I feel no emotional connection or like it's actually real. Sex or intimacy with girls is really stressful for me, because I fear being judged because it actually matters to me, but since I don't feel any attachment to men, I don't care what they think of me. I feel like this is pretty weird, but I think about it when I masturbate pretty often and it always really works.” — Nanny, 20
“My sexual fantasies tend to surface in my dreams. I have vivid dreams, and I usually remember them, so I'll recount one. I once dreamt that a girl was pressing her body into me. The pressure was amazing. She stimulated my clit and covered every inch of my body with hers. I woke up and honestly thought I'd had sex with someone the night before. It felt like a warm summer glow, where you close your eyelids and see only the light pink and yellow of sunshine when your eyes are closed. It was definitely hot. And wet.” — Girl Dreamer, 18
“I love to fantasize about having sex with my boyfriend and his brother. I imagine it playing out like this... My boyfriend (I'm just going to call him S.O.) is in the other room visiting with his brother from the navy who has come to stay with us for a couple of days. I'm in the kitchen doing the dishes, and the next thing I know, I feel S.O.'s hands wrap around my arms. He pulls me into the back room and I don't see his brother immediately, because he is behind the door. From there S.O. turns to me and says, ‘We would like to fuck you. It's something we have been wanting for a while,’ and his brother whips out his cock while S.O. ties me to the futon after I eagerly agree. Then, they gently punish me switching between double penetration and the boys taking turns eating me out. They don't finish until I cum... This is something I've been fantasizing about for YEARS. Sometimes there are slight variations, or I like to add their father to the mix. I mean, how could I not dream about getting fucked by the both of them? They love each other more than anything, and I've never met a better team of siblings... I guess there is something about their family that just gets me...” — Mickey, 21
“For a while now, I've wondered what it would be like to have sex with a woman (I'm a woman in a committed heterosexual relationship). I imagine that I'm with a friend, someone I know well, and after talking about these feelings, she agrees to experiment with me. Or better yet, she teaches me, because she's already experienced. I want to feel the soft, gentle touch of a woman. I also want to go down on a woman. I've woken up from dreams like this, where I'm eating out a girl, and it's always so hot. But I feel I could never tell my boyfriend; I told him that I had drunkenly kissed a girl friend in college six years ago, and then he got upset about it when I went to hang out with her the next weekend.” — Mandy, 23