Jane The Virgin Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Brit Me Baby One More Time

Photo: Greg Gayne/The CW.
The writing's on the wall in this episode for every character. It starts with a flashback featuring teenage Xo (Catherine Toribio) trying to draw Alba (Ivonne Coll) out of her room, where she's retreated to mourn the anniversary of the death of her husband. In the background, toddler Jane is taking advantage of this moment of freedom by drawing all over the wall of the house. Our foreshadowing is in place.

Back in the present day, the writing on the wall device cements itself for Jane (Gina Rodriguez) as prophetic graffiti telling her she wants to be with Michael (Brett Dier), but the time will never be right to tell Rafael (Justin Baldoni). Michael at first sees more literal writing on the wall: a bright and vibrant mural matches his sunny attitude after his monumental kiss with Jane in last week's episode.

That mural comes back later on, though, and it's no longer the happiest of occasions. Interestingly enough, it pops up in Xo (Andrea Navedo) and Alba's storyline, rather than Michael's. In "Chapter Twenty-Seven," Xo and Alba are focused on getting Alba's green card. They visit their immigration lawyer, but it appears their paperwork has hit a snag. As Alba's sponsor, it doesn't look good that Xo has a crime conviction on her record. She completely forgot about it because she didn't actually commit the crime. Her former fiancé — who she's never told her mother about — did.

Jane and Xo track down this former flame to get him to take the wrap for the crime (he stole an engagement ring her for after she accepted his proposal). The statute of limitations has expired, so he wouldn't be facing criminal repercussions anyway. The only problem is that while Zed (Kaiwi Lyman) still rollerblades — Xo would like you to know that this was cool in the '90s — he no longer goes by Zed. He now calls himself Jon Snow, because he watches the wall (the one with the mural he painted), and he also sells cocaine (a.k.a. snow). Oh, and like Jon Snow, he knows nothing when the cops come sniffing around. Zed is a true gentleman.

Xo's tactics don't work, so Jane sends her away and tries to reason with Zed (a.k.a. Jon) using a cooler approach. He still refuses to admit to the crime, but he does give her a chocolate bar that's 70% cacao and 30% marijuana. Oh, you know that thing is going to get eaten later in the episode at a most inopportune moment. Say, when someone has a meeting with a state's attorney? Why yes, that's exactly what happens.
Photo: Greg Gayne/The CW.
Xo and Alba's raging case of the munchies and extreme paranoia mean that Jane has to cancel the meeting with the state's attorney. She calls Rogelio (Jaime Camil) to babysit, and he's more than happy to oblige. He's been having a particularly rough go of it this episode. You see, this is the week that Britney Spears drops by The Mirabella. And, wouldn't you know it, she and Rogelio have history. Also, celebrity beef. For them, the writing on the wall culminated a few years ago in a teleprompter mix-up at the Pop Latin Music Awards. Rogelio swears the incident was the result of Britney being jealous of his rising fame, but Jane sees what happened as Britney coming to his rescue.

Now that Spears is in Miami and has a restraining order against Rogelio, he decides to go for a more twenty-first century form of attack. He engages Britney in virtual warfare. In the end, Rogelio and Britney make up. I mean, who wouldn't want to mend ties with Rogelio? He's fun and has the best Twitter game in South Beach.

I haven't even mentioned what brought Britney Spears to town, though. She's there for Petra (Yael Grobglas) and MIlos' (Max Bird-Ridnell) wedding, which is all just a big sham. Petra's in it for the money. He's in it for the tax shelter and the spousal immunity so that Petra can't testify against him when she finds out he's an illegal arms dealer. Ah, the opposite of true love.

I've held off on discussing the most traumatic storyline in the episode until the end, because it's also the most heartbreaking. Jane spends most of the episode helping solve everyone else's problems. She helps Alba and Xo with the green card and felony situation. She tries to convince Petra not to marry Milos by visiting Petra's terrifying mother Magda (Priscilla Barnes) in prison. She even gets Britney Spears and Rogelio to reconcile.

Jane puts her own problems on the back burner while she's solving everyone else's, even though all she wants to do is talk to Michael about their epic kiss. By the time she and Michael are face-to-face, it's too late for that talk. Everything has come to a head, and Michael is now seeing his own writing on the wall. He thinks Rafael turned him in to his boss when he colluded with Nadine (Azie Tesfai) and Sin Rostro (Bridget Regan) to get Mateo back. Michael gets fired, and he turns his rage towards Rafael.

The two come to blows in the hallway, and this leads to Mateo's arm getting cut. For Jane, the writing on the wall now reads something completely different. "What kind of mother doesn't put her child first?" it asks. With that, she knows what she has to do. She ends things with Michael.

When he gets into his car, Nadine is waiting for him with a gun, but that's another story for another time. Specifically next week. See you then!

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