When Giving Head, Use Your Tongue Wisely

Illustrated by Anna Sudit.
The way most people talk about oral sex, it sounds pretty simple. You either lick someone's vulva or suck their penis and that's all there is to it. But once you really start giving head, no matter what body part you're going down on, you discover that there's so much more to it than licking and sucking.
There are about 5,000 things you can do with your tongue, and they don't all feel good for everyone. For example, my roommate and I have both encountered people who try to "tongue fuck" us, meaning they attempt to stick their tongue into our vaginas. And neither of us has ever been impressed with that move.
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"Because the vagina doesn't have all the sensitive pleasure-receptive nerve endings the clitoris does, whatever the tongue is doing to the vaginal entrance or canal may not be all it's cracked up to be," says Sadie Allison, PhD, founder of sex toy boutique TickleKitty.com and author of Tickle His Pickle – Your Hands-on Guide to Penis Pleasing. But some people really love being tongue-penetrated. "Some people enjoy the thought of their partner tasting them, eating the body juices, or the closeness of swapping fluids," says Rosara Torrisi, PhD, an AASECT certified sex therapist and the founder of the Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy. Putting pressure on the vaginal opening can be erotic, as well. As always, the sexy-factor of tongue penetration is dependent on the preferences of the person being tongued.
And the same goes for anything else you want to do with your tongue during oral sex, whether you're giving a blow job or eating someone out; you always want to ask your partner what they like and check in during sex to make sure whatever you're doing with your tongue feels good.
Still, there are certain oral sex techniques that nearly always feel amazing. So we've asked Dr. Allison to share some tips below.
1 of 18

For eating a vulva out

For eating a vulva out


With a flat, wide tongue, lap in long strokes on the outside of your partner's panties until they're wet and your lover is begging for it.
2 of 18

For giving a blowjob

For giving a blowjob


Tease your partner by circling your tongue around their penis head, using the least amount of pressure as possible.
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For eating a vulva out

For eating a vulva out


Use your tongue to tease: Lightly lick or suck everywhere around the clitoris before you actually lick the clit. Start with the inner thighs, vulva, and lips.
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For giving a blowjob

For giving a blowjob


Slide only your tongue up the underside of the shaft, then use just the tip of your tongue to swirl it all around your partner's frenulum or “V spot” — which is a sensitive pleasure spot.
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For eating a vulva out

For eating a vulva out


Lick your partner's vulva in an upwards motion, lifting from the base of the tongue and gliding upwards along the clitoris.
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For giving a blowjob

For giving a blowjob


Hold the shaft penis with your hands, and focus your tongue on the head.
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For eating a vulva out

For eating a vulva out


Lay your tongue flat and relaxed at the bottom of your partner's vulva, then swish with wide licks from the bottom to the very top, above the clitoris (right under the vaginal hood).
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For giving a blowjob

For giving a blowjob


With a wide, relaxed tongue, repeatedly lick and lap your partner's penis upward like a melting ice cream cone.
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For eating a vulva out

For eating a vulva out


Flex and lick with the tip of your tongue for focused pleasure and to get every nook and cranny.
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For giving a blowjob

For giving a blowjob


Flutter your tongue back and forth all along your partner's shaft and head, up and down.
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For eating a vulva out

For eating a vulva out


Keep consistent tongue technique: If your partner is reacting positively, keep doing that! You don’t always need to always "switch it up."
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For giving a blowjob

For giving a blowjob


While your partner's penis is inside your mouth, apply steady focused pressure on the head and lick in circles. Then hold your tongue against the side of the shaft for an up and down lick each time.
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13 of 18

For eating a vulva out

For eating a vulva out


When focusing on the clitoris, slow, gentle circular movements can feel great. Switch between clockwise and counterclockwise rotations. If your partner is extra sensitive to direct stimulation, lick in circles around the clitoris (but not on it).
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For giving a blowjob

For giving a blowjob


Swirl your tongue all around and in between your partner's balls with a relaxed, wide tongue.
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For eating a vulva out

For eating a vulva out


A figure-eight lick motion is a favorite of many, because it covers a lot of territory and surface, stimulating the sides of the vulva, too (not just the clitoris).
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For giving a blowjob

For giving a blowjob


Lather up extra saliva, tilt your head to the side, pucker your lips, and run your mouth (tongue included) up and down the side of your partner's shaft.
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For eating a vulva out

For eating a vulva out


Experiment with different shapes and "firmnesses" of the tongue for licking, from super soft and loose, to tight and firm. The tongue has eight different muscles, which enables you to offer a world of sensations and pleasures.
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For giving a blowjob

For giving a blowjob


When your partner cums in your mouth, use the tip of your tongue to gently cover the meatus (the opening of the penis), which will prevent the cum from squirting into the back of your throat, and will act as a "spray blocker."
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