My Life As A Perpetual Clothes-Ruiner (& The Kit You Need If You’re One, Too)

There are two types of people in life. There are clothes-preservers — those who manage to wear their possessions carefully, take them off carefully, store them carefully, and generally breeze through life with creases in all the right places. They are the ones who can buy expensive sunglasses and actually call them "an investment," confident they won’t sit on them or accidentally leave them behind on the subway. They’re the people who can wear white pants while on their period — and casually order meatballs for lunch.

And then, there are people like me: the clothes-ruiners.

We have the best of intentions, but the snaggiest of nails. We spill. We tear. We bust zips. We do DIY alterations with superglue and kitchen scissors, five minutes after we were supposed to have left the house. We forget to cut off the tags, but always lose the spare buttons. We follow washing instructions to a T — yet still end up with a dress only a doll can wear.

Ever since I put my heel through the chiffon hem of my high school prom dress before I'd even arrived at the party, I've known my fate was sealed: the fate that I will buy beautiful things, and I will, without fail, accidentally fuck them up. But there is hope (I've found), thanks to a few handy gadgets. Ahead, you'll find a list of essentials every clothes-ruiner should have on standby. Next time you look down at a stain, remember: With these in your pocket, a clean-shirted future is yours.

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