1. Morgan Memorial Hall of Gems at the American Museum of Natural History
We know, we know, a bit of an obvious one to start with, but we imagine Prince H walking through that dark, gem-filled room of priceless jewels and just screaming, "I'll take it!" Then again, at the end of that daydream, it's us on the receiving end of all that gold (and one rather hefty, blue sapphire).
Morgan Memorial Hall of Gems at the AMNH, Central Park West (at 79th Street); 212-769-5100.
2. The Loeb Boathouse At Central Park
Grab an oar, my boy, and get ready to paddle us around in small circles! You've been on yachts, you've been on naval ships — but have you ever paddled a particularly starry-eyed American around mosquito-filled Central Park? Now that's something to write home about.
The Loeb Boathouse at Central Park, East 72nd Street (at Park Drive North); 212-517-2233.
3. Columbia University's "Senior Night" at Havana Central
Willy and Kate met at school, so maybe there's luck to be had out there for Harry. (Imagine if he married a Yankee...) Young, well-educated co-eds? Senior spring? Anything goes! Just make sure you can chug a 40 ouncer with the rest of 'em and make Queen Mum proud.
Havana Central, 2911 Broadway (between 113th & 114th streets); 212-662-8830.
4. Duane Park
Speaking of co-eds, how about a little burlesque? We're thinking of the sparkly jazz and burlesque shows at the hidden Duane Park, where Harry can take in the umm... sights. Luckily, The Plume Review and Tassel Room performances are on this weekend (and maybe our British friend will participate, too).
Duane Park, 308 Bowery (between Bleecker and Houston Street); 212-732-5555.
Guy's gotta eat! And this new super-luxe foodie project is sure to treat our precious like the
King, King-to-be Prince that he is. For the record, we'll be having the mixed grill cacciatore (for two).
Carbone, 181 Thompson Street (between Bleecker & Houston Street); 212-933-0707.
We all know what happens when there's an indoor pool at play. (Yes, even if it's tiny, and yes, even if it's only four-feet deep.) And Prince Harry's raucous behavior would feel right at home in this rooftop playhouse. Plus, The Top Of The Standard bar is only a hop, skip, and a streak away.
Le Bain at The Standard, 848 Washington Street (at 13th Street); 212-645-4646.
Okay, so maybe we just wanna hear him order the "Salty Pimp" in a British accent.
Big Gay Ice Cream Shop, 125 East 7th Street (between 1st Avenue and Avenue A); no phone.
We know he's a fan of this American brand, and so are we (especially when it's his treat). So why not let him dive into the best of the best of the label. One thing we have in common? Homeboy likes riding pants — a lot — and we do, too.
Ralph Lauren RRL, 31 Prince Street (at Elizabeth Street); 212-343-0841.
Sure, there are playoffs going on and whatever, but remember when Justin Bieber rented out the Staples Center for Selena's birthday, and it was, like, the most romantic thing, ever? That's what's gonna happen here, except we're going to eat Calexico and party at the 40/40 club.
Barclays Center, 620 Atlantic Avenue; Brooklyn, 917-618-6100.
Last, but not least, our sweet, sweet Prince, we'll dine with you at Guy Fieri's gourmet American eatery, conveniently nestled on one of Times Square's many roads less-traveled so you can get a taste of our native offerings, like bacon-wrapped BBQ shrimp. Bon appétit, mon amour.
Guy's American Kitchen and Bar, 220 West 44th Street (between 7th and 8th avenues); 646-532-GUYS.