How To Hook Up In An Office & Get Away With It

Photo: Getty Images.
You can have a work fantasy that involves slaying a presentation, and then a totally different one that involves the same conference room — but a (presumably) smaller cast of characters and possibly a lot less clothing. Both are sexy, just in different ways. "Hooking up at work is hot because there's a risk of getting caught, and you're doing something so taboo that could put your job on the line," says Michelle Hope, a sexologist in New York City. "Risk is exciting to some extent." But for every steamy office romance, there's a good reason why you shouldn't shit where you eat, which is why you should always check your company's HR policy before getting involved with someone you work with, Hope says.
People also spend so much time at work that it's natural for lines to blur, she says. Here's the thing: Experts say that having a supportive partner is key to performing to your full potential at work. Just imagine if that person also happened to be at your full disposal in the office for, you know, orgasmic support, too? If you see yourself getting into a steady hookup routine with someone in the office, respect their boundaries and don't do anything that would put them in jeopardy. "Depending who's in your office there is a kink aspect of power and control; we've seen that imagery of a naughty secretary or domineering boss forever," she says. "Evaluate your location, mitigate the risk, then have fun," Hope says.
A spontaneous romp in your break room is irresistible and maybe even inevitable, but a sustained office hookup situation can be even more awesome when you work in a bit of planning and variety. Lean in (and over) to these tips for making your hookups hotter when you're on the clock — whether that means you're parked at a desk or on your feet.
1 of 10
Make frequent drive-bys.

Walk past your partner in the morning meeting, on your way to get water, or glance at them from across the room, and take note of their outfit. Shoot them a text to let them know their work dress is going to look better on the floor later.
2 of 10
Have a code word.

Pick a secret word that signals you're fired up, and use it in meetings. Make it something innocuous and work jargon-y (like "touch base," "circle back," or "ping me"), and get ready to squirm when your boss uses them in the usual context.
3 of 10
Get stairwell access.

Ask for permission to get in and out of the building stairwells, ya know, because you're "trying to be healthier" and take the stairs — not! Stairwells were built for quickies. If that's not doable, elevators are also a 30-second opportunity to have some private time, but your building security might know what's up.
4 of 10
Use a remote control.

Take things to the next level and invest in remote-control vibrating underwear (like the Sensuelle Remote Vibrating Panty) to wear during the day, and let your partner take the wheel. Some even have a memory option, so you can set it to a specific level of vibration that's subtle enough for daytime.
5 of 10
Offer to take a closing shift.

Take one for your whole team and actually volunteer for the closing shift with your partner. After you've counted the register you can wrap up some other important business, too, alone with the lights off and the doors locked.
6 of 10
Actually use that stand-up desk you have.

Whatever your motivation was to get a standing desk in the first place (Health! Fitness! Bragging rights!), here's another reason: Someone can get on their knees while you get some work done. But again, make sure you have a closed office or are alone.
7 of 10
Befriend your neighbors.

Getting to know the bartender around the corner from your office or restaurant won't just score you free drinks at happy hour, it also ensures that you have a dark, anonymous place to go "talk"…or whatever.
8 of 10
Send a sext from across the room.

Using your company computer — whether that's Gchat, Slack, a company phone, or email — to do sex stuff is decidedly a no-no, but that doesn't mean your personal cell is off-limits.
9 of 10
Use those terrible office chairs for good.

Sitting all day is not so great for you as a habit, but straddling your partner and using the rocking motion for dry humping is a healthy choice.
10 of 10
Hop on a call.

Grab a quiet phone room and call your partner's extension and just tell them something quick but super-specific that you want to do to them. It's the most fun you'll ever have on a work call.

More from Sex & Relationships