A Week In Toronto On A $169,000 Household Income

Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a lead designer working who has a $169,000 household income and who spends some of her money this week on zucchini relish for her mother-in-law’s birthday. If you’d like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we’re not able to reply to every email.

Occupation: Lead designer
Industry: Architecture/design
Age: 36
Location: Toronto
Salary: $79,000.00
Household Income/Finances Setup: $169,000.00 ($79,000 + $90,000). My partner M. and I aren’t married (yet), but we share a house and have a two-year-old child together. We have a joint account which we both put money in to cover our fixed shared monthly expenses (mortgage, property taxes, utilities, daycare, etc.) but we both still have our own separate bank accounts as well. We’re not very strict on who covers what for some of the things that fluctuate a bit more (groceries, household items, diapers, etc.) but I think in general it usually ends up being pretty even between us.
Assets: House: $510,000; joint savings: $3,000; personal savings: $6,600 (includes savings account, TFSA, and RRSP); personal investments: $2,300.
Debt: Personal debt: $9,700; mortgage: $470,000.
Paycheck Amount (per month): $4,800
Pronouns: She/her

Shared Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: $2,046 (mortgage payment; M. and I split this).
Property Taxes: $279.76
Electricity: $168
Water: $68 (we pay $204 quarterly).
Home Insurance: $131.35
Daycare: $440
RESP Contribution: $100

Personal Monthly Expenses

Life Insurance: $32.40
Car Insurance: $156.67
Gas: Averages around $100 (but ranges from $31 to $203 depending on the time of year).
Phone Bill: $70.48
RRSP contributions: $100
Debt Payments: $675 (I’ve been paying down my personal line of credit as much as I can; this payment fluctuates slightly month to month, but this is around the average).

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I always knew I wanted to go to university; I think from the time I was around 12 years old I decided I wanted to be an architect. I was incredibly fortunate that my parents covered the cost of my higher education — they paid for my undergrad tuition and living costs, as well as my graduate tuition. I took out a government loan for my master’s degree so that I did not have to work while I was attending university. Between that money, my savings, and working over the summers I was able to cover my living expenses.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents were fairly open about money; they both worked and had good paying jobs so we never really had to worry about anything money related growing up. We got a weekly allowance for doing our chores which started when we were quite young. My mom would write us each a check (I have two sisters) for $3 each week and would take us to the bank to deposit it. Beyond setting us up to “save money”, they let us learn about it on our own. We were aware of the cost of things, like going to the movies or buying new clothes, but they never hesitated to give us the things we wanted or asked for.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was a line cook at Papa John’s Pizza. I got it because my sister worked there and they were looking to hire. I was 14, so I was excited about earning my own money.

Did you worry about money growing up?
My dad was an engineer in the oil industry so his employment did depend on the boom and bust periods. I distinctly remember them having a conversation with me and my sisters one time when my dad was laid off from work: They sat us down and told us we’d only be able to buy the essentials for a while. I’m not sure if it was my age (I was maybe around 8 or 9?) but that gave me a lot of anxiety around money and I had this feeling of stress around spending too much money on things. Even after my dad found new work and things generally went back to normal, I had this fear that we were “over spending”, even though I don’t think I had much of a reference point for what things cost versus what we could afford.

Do you worry about money now?
I worry about the debt I’m currently carrying: It’s the first time in my life that I’ve had personal debt that’s not tied to an asset (like my car or the house). When I collected employment insurance while I was on maternity leave it wasn’t quite enough to cover our expenses, so I ended up using some money from my line of credit to make ends meet. It’s not an overwhelming amount, and I know I will get it paid off. In the end, I know we’re very fortunate that both my partner R. and I have incredibly supportive families. If we were ever in serious financial trouble, we definitely have a safety net that would help us out in any way they could.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became fully financially responsible for myself at age 26 when I graduated from my master’s program. M. and I are both fortunate to have families that would step in financially if we lost our housing or if either of us lost our source of income and we weren’t able to make ends meet.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
No.

9 a.m. — My partner M. and I trade off getting up early with our son, F., on the weekends; today was my day to sleep in. I wake up, shower, and make a coffee to go with my bagel and cream cheese. I usually get to eat about half the breakfast I make; F. is two years old and always wants bites of whatever we’re having (even though he already ate his own breakfast).

10 a.m. — I only get to drink half my coffee before F. decides it’s time for a walk. We head out while my husband gets some extra sleep after waking up at 5:30 a.m. We end up at our local coffee shop; since I didn’t get to finish my first coffee, I stop to grab a chai latte and a scone for F. His favorite thing now is any kind of treat while we’re out. $11.70

10:10 a.m. — There’s a little market attached to the coffee shop so we talk a walk through there. I found someone selling zucchini relish. My mother-in-law has been searching high and low for it so I grab two jars because her birthday is coming up. $14.69

2:15 p.m. — I heat up some leftovers for lunch; M. made short ribs with mashed potatoes and carrots last night and they make excellent leftovers. He made the effort to go to the butcher for the meat instead of just the grocery store like we usually do, so I don’t want any of it to go to waste.

6:30 p.m. — It’s Sunday and we did our “fancy” recipe last night, so for dinner we see what’s in the pantry and the fridge and decide to make mac and cheese with hot dogs. My son is happy with any kind of noodles so we throw that together with some cherry tomatoes.

6:30 a.m. — M. leaves for work at 6:20 a.m.; since my work schedule is the more flexible one, I take care of getting F. up and off to daycare for the day. For the longest time he was waking up at 5:30 a.m. — I’m grateful for the extra hour of sleep he’s giving me in the mornings lately. We get up; F. always has half a bagel and some of whatever fruit we have in the fridge. I make an egg sandwich for myself (or mostly for myself — F. will always have a few bites with ketchup). I’ve been seeing a naturopath to try to get my energy levels back up and she suggested increasing my protein intake at breakfast (but part of me knows this is just my new life with a toddler and no amount of protein will help…).

7:20 a.m. — I usually manage to get F. dropped off at daycare between 7:15 a.m. and 7:30 a.m., depending on how long it takes us to get dressed and out of the house. It’s only a 10-minute drive from our place, so I drop him off and head back to work from home for the day.

12:30 p.m. — I heat up more of the short ribs and potatoes for lunch. M. is not a big fan of leftovers so I always feel like it’s on me to use them up before they go bad. I don’t mind though, when I’m working from home I don’t want to run out just to grab lunch.

2:45 p.m. — I usually try to wrap up what I’m doing by 3 p.m. so I can go pick F. up. I realize I’m very low on gas so I make a note to stop on the way back home.

3:05 p.m. — I need to commute for work in the morning so I can’t put off getting gas any longer. I make sure to stop at the gas station where I get 3 cents off/litre through a promo deal with my bank. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I do freelance work for a designer that’s about 30 minutes away from my house. I know I’m lucky I get to work from home most of the time, but I still don’t enjoy the commute two days a week. $81.92

5 p.m. — I didn’t stop at the grocery store, but I check the freezer and we have a tourtière we can cook for dinner along with a bag of salad that we didn’t eat over the weekend that won’t last much longer anyway. I throw the tourtière in the oven because it takes an hour to cook and F. will be hungry soon.

6:15 p.m. — M. got a promotion in January and his work hours were adjusted so he can leave an hour before he used to. It’s been nice being able to eat dinner together. When he was getting home later I would usually have to cook one dinner for F. and then M. and I would end up eating our dinner after he went to bed, but luckily now we all eat dinner and then F. gets to play for an hour before bedtime.

6:30 a.m. — We do our usual morning routine — breakfast, get dressed and packed for daycare, load everything and everyone into the car. We make it there for 7:15 a.m. today which is nice because I have a bit of extra work to catch up on before I head to my freelance job for the day.

9:30 a.m. — I work part time for a development company and supplement that income with my freelance work, so I wrap up what I’ve been doing and head to my second job for the rest of the day.

1:15 p.m. — Sometimes the lady I work for will put together a lunch for us. Today she brought down a plate of hummus, pita bread, peppers, olives and pickled turnips. It’s all delicious and I’m grateful not to be eating leftovers again for lunch.

2:15 p.m. — I head out to pick up F. from daycare. I’m a half an hour farther away than I would be if I was working from home so I have to end my work day a little earlier.

3:15 p.m. — I always take F. with me when I go grocery shopping. He loves the store so it’s like free entertainment (well, free except for the price of the groceries) that keeps him occupied for half an hour. We grab stuff to make tacos, a pasta dish with alfredo and salmon, asparagus, and some other staples that we’re out of (mustard, coffee cream, bagels, and yogurt). F. talks me into getting a new flavor of bear paws for his afternoon snacks as well. $61.67

4 p.m. — F. and I get home and unpack the groceries. He decides he wants to go for a walk to the park so we bundle up and head out. He’s walking further and not using the stroller as much, so we’re gone for almost an hour and half.

6 p.m. — We decide to make the tacos for dinner — they’re always quicker to make than I think they will be. M. gets home and we all eat dinner together. After F. goes to bed we do our usual routine picking something to watch and scrolling through our phones. We’re trying not to fall behind on all our shows, so we put on an episode of Severance.

6:15 a.m. — Even though I wake up at 6:15 a.m., F. decides to sleep in longer than usual and I don’t get him out of his crib until 6:45 a.m. I try to rush through breakfast a little bit and we manage to get to daycare by 7:45 a.m.

8 a.m. — It’s another work from home day today. I do freelance work for a second designer as well, but her workload is fairly light right now so I haven’t had to dedicate as many hours for her as I usually do. It’s been a lot of work mentally to juggle schedules for essentially three jobs, but I’ve felt the difference with the extra income so it’s definitely been worth it in the end. Today is a bit of a slow day, but I’ve learned to enjoy those whenever they come around.

12 p.m. — I finish off the last of our short rib leftovers (I don’t think they were going to be edible for much longer anyway). They’re still delicious but I’m glad they’ll be gone after today.

2:15 p.m. — Since I don’t have an overwhelming amount of work to keep on top of at the moment, I end my work day a little earlier. I’ve been watching The Newsroom; it’s one of the few shows M. and I aren’t watching together so I can put on an episode without him and not feel guilty about it. I watch an episode and fold some laundry so I can still feel like I’m accomplishing something. I always find it hard to just relax in the middle of a work day even when I don’t have anything I need to get done.

3:15 p.m. — I pick F. up from daycare and we entertain ourselves at home until it’s time to cook dinner. We opt for the pasta dish with salmon for dinner; I mix in some frozen broccoli to round out the meal.

8 p.m. — After getting F. to bed for the night we put on an episode of Reacher. We know it’s not the best television out there, but it’s easy to watch and keeps us entertained.

5:30 a.m. — F. wakes up early today — he must’ve heard M. getting up for his shower. I manage to convince him to go back to sleep (with the help of his pacifier, even though we’ve been trying to get rid of it completely), but there’s no hope of me falling back asleep so I get up for the day. The pacifier keeps him asleep until his usual wake up around 6:30 a.m., we get organized for the day and make it to daycare at 7:15 a.m.

7:30 a.m. — I get organized for the day and answer a few emails before I head out at 9:30 a.m.

2:15 p.m. — We worked through lunch today, so I stop at Wendy’s on my way to pick up F. from daycare. I try not to buy lunch too often but I love a fast food burger every once in a while — I get fries and a root beer to go with it. $12.63

2:30 p.m. — I’m commuting for a meeting with a client tomorrow, and I have to print out our proposal package because Staples won’t be open when I head out in the morning. I print three copies and then go pick F. up from daycare. $7.66

6 p.m. — I ate lunch late so I’m not hungry for dinner at all. I heat up leftover noodles and peas for F. and convince M. to order takeout for ourselves after he goes to bed.

8 p.m. — After F. goes to bed, we order from a local pub through Uber Eats. We’ve been trying to cut back on the amount of takeout we do, but we still usually end up ordering dinner at least once a week. I get a buffalo chicken wrap with a side salad; M. is allergic to chicken so whenever we do take out I usually get it, since it’s not something I cook regularly just for myself. He gets a steak sandwich with fries (I had fries for lunch so I didn’t want to have them again, but as soon as I see M.’s fries I regret my decision). Luckily he lets me eat a few. $46.04

Daily Total: $66.33

6:30 a.m. — After a few days slightly off schedule, F. is back to his regular wakeup time. We get up, eat breakfast, and get dressed. After I drop him off I’ll just head straight to my meeting, so I pack up all my work stuff as well. I never know what traffic is going to be like so I like to leave extra time for the commute (it’s usually just under two hours).

10 a.m. — There’s an accident on my route which slows me down, but I get there with lots of time to spare. We’re meeting our client at a coffee shop so I grab a coffee when I get there. Since I’m early, I get a piece of banana bread to eat before everyone else arrives. $13.13

1:30 p.m. — Our meeting goes well and I stay a little longer to review a few other things in person with my colleague. I end up leaving around 1:30 p.m.; I haven’t eaten lunch yet but traffic on the way back isn’t great either and I don’t want to be too late picking up F. I also hate when I don’t plan well enough and have to buy lunch two days in a row, so even though I know I’ll be hungry, I skip getting anything for lunch.

3:30 p.m. — I’m a little late picking up F. from daycare, but at least it’s Friday so we can just head home and relax for the weekend. He wants a snack when we get home (and I’m starving), so we share some hummus with veggie straws.

6 p.m. — F. has a bath and then we get dinner ready. I didn’t grab anything fresh so we pull out a frozen lasagne and luckily we still have the asparagus from our grocery shopping earlier in the week. I immediately regret doing F.’s bath before dinner when he ends up with lasagne from ear to ear. But we get him cleaned up and have time to relax for an hour before getting him off to bed.

8:30 p.m. — Bedtime has been slowly taking longer and longer but F. finally falls asleep and we make it downstairs around 8:30 p.m. There’s a hockey game on tonight that M. wants to watch, so we put that on and I mostly scroll through my phone until I feel like I’ve stayed up late enough for an adult bedtime.

6:30 a.m. — It’s Saturday, and my weekend day to get up with F. After I’m unsuccessful at convincing him to sleep a bit extra in our bed, I finally cave and we go downstairs for breakfast while my partner sleeps in.

9 a.m. — F. and I hang out in the living room until M. wakes up around 9 a.m. Usually I would try to get a bit more sleep in, but I’m meeting a friend for lunch so I forgo my usual morning nap so that I have enough time to get ready. M. and F. head out for a morning walk and I’m grateful to have the house to myself while I get ready.

12 p.m. — I meet my friend for lunch at a Mexican restaurant that’s halfway between our houses. We both have toddlers so it feels like it takes us months to arrange any sort of get together. We have so much to catch up on that we’re there for almost three hours. We share a bunch of appetizers and split the bill. $75.26

6 p.m. — I ate lunch late and M. said he was snacking all day, so neither of us was hungry for a big dinner. F. is happy with leftover lasagne and frozen peas so he eats, and decides he wants to do a bath again before bed.

Daily Total: $75.26

“Food and drink is generally our largest spending category on an average week, so looking over the figures, they’re not surprising.  We’re lucky that we’re able to walk through the grocery store and buy what we like without having to worry too much about the cost each week. I feel like the area we can cut back on right now would be the amount we eat out — and when we have food at home that we enjoy, it always makes that decision an easier one. I started tracking our monthly expenses about two years ago so that I could set up a realistic budget for myself. It’s been a good way for me to feel more in control of our money and start to intentionally save for some of the things we want to do in the future without having to sacrifice the things we enjoy on a more day-to-day basis.”