A Week In Seattle On A $377,000 Household Income

Occupation: Community engagement consultant
Industry: Consulting
Age: 36
Location: Seattle, WA
Salary: $212,000 (projection based on my business’ revenue last year).
Joint Income & Finances Setup: My partner A. makes $165,000 a year, so our joint household income is $377,000. Each month, I contribute $7,300 to our joint checking account and A. contributes $6,500. We use this to cover all our bills, groceries, and activities together. We each deposit $2,000 to our personal accounts for individual savings, activities we do individually, or buying ourselves anything that isn’t a necessity — basically anything that you can’t buy at a pharmacy or grocery store. (For the purposes of this diary, I am tracking spending from our joint checking account and my personal accounts.)
Assets: Personal checking: $390; joint checking: $25,977; personal savings: $82,878; my retirement accounts: $221,597; my investment accounts: $114,040; house value: $1,143,000 (Zillow’s estimate). I currently have $40,100 in my business account, which pays for my quarterly estimated taxes ($11,600 a quarter this year) and for two of the expenses I listed (phone bill and retirement savings). I don’t have access to A.’s savings/retirement/investment accounts but based on our conversations, he has about two-thirds of the amounts I have.
Debt: Mortgage: $959,000; car: $5,776; student loan I cosigned for my brother: $62,371.
Paycheck Amount (Monthly): Mine: $9,300 (this is the amount I transfer from my business account to my personal accounts; taxes, retirement savings, and business expenses are paid directly from my business account). My partner’s: $8,500 (post-tax and deductions).
Pronouns: She/her

Joint Monthly Expenses
Housing Costs: $5,926 — A. and I own our home, where we live with our 22-month-old daughter, J. It is a three-bed/two-bath with a bonus room, basement, and large yard.
Loan Payments: $492.13 for our car loan.
Daycare: $1,515
Car & Home Insurance: $247.49 (for two cars).
Utilities: ~$50 for electric; ~$150 for water, sewer and garbage; ~$100 for gas (electric and water are billed every other month, gas is billed every month).
Internet: $80
Streaming Services: $35 (Netflix, HBO Max, and Hulu).
Health & Dental Insurance: $1,000 (deducted from A.’s paycheck).
Donations: $155 ($55 to Real Rent Duwamish and $100 to Sustainable Seattle).

Personal Monthly Expenses
Trainwell: $300 (quarterly).
Therapy: $370 for two appointments a month.
Phone: $75 (paid through business account).
Savings: $300 (started putting this in my brokerage account instead of savings in January).
Retirement: $1,000 (deposited from business account into SEP IRA; A. puts ~$500 in his 401(k) every month and his workplace has a 50% match).

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, both of my parents went to college and expected that would be the trajectory my siblings and I took as well. I am from a Latin American country, and my dad went to college in the US, so I wanted to follow his footsteps. I went to a US university with a campus in my country and did my first two years there. Then, I transferred to the main campus for my final 18 months. By doing this, I was eligible for in-state tuition, and my degree cost ~$32,000, which my parents were able to pay. I went on to get a master’s degree, and my tuition was waived since I was a teaching assistant. I feel very fortunate to have no student loans, though as mentioned above I did cosign for my brother’s graduate school loans, because I was the only family member that could cosign a loan in the US. At the time, the choices felt like they were either I cosign the loan or I tell him sorry, you don’t get to go to grad school. Looking back, I wish I had encouraged him to think more deeply about taking on this debt, since he went to an expensive private university and this is only part of the debt (he ended up also taking out a bigger loan that my parents cosigned in my home country). I don’t think he truly understood the magnitude of starting adult life with so much debt until after he graduated. This situation has been a cause of stress at times and put a strain on our relationship, because he has missed payments and not communicated about it until I started getting letters about a past due balance. But I can’t change the past, and now we are focused on making sure he makes timely payments so we can apply to remove me as a cosigner.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents opened a savings account for me as a child and told me about the importance of savings. They never spoke to me about credit cards or how to make big purchases like a house, and I learned in the past couple of years that my parents went into credit card debt sometimes to go on big vacations. I was surprised they had taken a vacation that they were not able to afford without credit card debt, because I have never done that before.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I had some internships as an undergraduate and then I was a teaching assistant in graduate school. As an international student, the types of jobs I could take during my studies were very limited. I did not have a job in high school — it is not customary for teenagers to work in my country, unless they are doing it to supplement the household income.

Did you worry about money growing up?
No, and I now realize it’s because my parents shielded me from their money worries. My dad was a small business owner, my mom had a 9-5 job when I was in elementary school, and our family was well-off. My mom was burnt out and left her job when I was in about 3rd grade, and a couple of years later my dad’s business went under during an economic downturn (and also due to some family drama that I learned about later in life). As an adult, I learned that during this time all of the family assets had to go under my mom’s name because otherwise they would have been seized to pay for debts left by the business. To stay afloat, they refinanced for a lower payment over a longer time period, sold one of their cars, and my mom went back to work as a real estate agent (my dad found other work as well). My parents were very stressed, but through it all, we still had all our basic needs met, and by the time I went to college, they made enough money to pay for my tuition.

Do you worry about money now?
Not very much. I make more money than I ever imagined possible when I was a child, and I can buy everything I want and need. I do worry about my brother continuing to pay his loan, since he has had instances of missing payments. The worry is greater now because my dad passed away last month, and he was the one person who said he would not let my brother’s debt fall to me (in the last 10 years my dad and uncle started a new business together, which paid my dad very well). But every month that my brother makes a payment and we’re closer to applying to no longer have a cosigner, I feel better.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
At 21, when I finished my undergraduate degree and was able to support myself with my teaching assistant salary. My safety net is my savings, and the ability to move back to my family home (outside of the US) if things were really dire. Since my dad died, I’ve had this heavy feeling that I would now be the safety net for my siblings and my mom (who is retired, and now that my dad died her only income is social security). A. assures me that his family has a large cushion if we hit a rough patch.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
A few years ago, we rented out a room in our previous house to one of our friends, who paid $800 a month. All of my grandparents are gone, and I didn’t get an inheritance from them. My dad died with a couple thousand dollars left to pay on his credit card, so no monetary inheritance from him, but he and my mom did set me up for this incredible life I have, which is priceless. My siblings and I will likely inherit our family home, since it’s paid off and my mom wants to keep living there.

7:30 a.m. — I gradually drift awake and lie around looking at my phone for about 15 minutes before I get up, pull on my favorite rainbow sweatpants, and head downstairs to wake up my 22-month-old, J. Today I’m getting her ready for daycare while my partner A. takes care of our pets and packs her daycare bag with multiple outfit changes for when she inevitably makes a mess. We switch up who does what depending on our moods. Then, I go drop her off and hand in this month’s daycare payment (in monthly expenses).

9 a.m. — Back home, I eat two pieces of toast with avocado spread for breakfast and lounge around until my first and only call of the day. My dad passed away three weeks ago, and my motivation to work is at an all-time low. I’m taking every day as it comes and focusing on the essential tasks for now. I feel very lucky that as a self-employed person I can give myself the gift of working at my own pace. I take a call with a colleague (another consultant) to review some meeting notes and plan for an upcoming meeting. After my call is over, I prepare and send invoices, which I always do on the first of the month. Even with a haphazard work schedule, I managed to bill $16,500 last month! My monthly goal is to bill at least $14,000 to cover my salary, retirement savings, taxes, and business expenses. I pay myself a mid-year and end-of-year bonus based on excess revenue — last year I was able to pay myself $10,000 for each bonus!

12 p.m. — Every other week our daycare sends a bag of produce home with J., and today I make a salad with arugula, bell peppers, and shallots courtesy of the daycare produce bag, plus carrots and a hard-boiled egg that I had at home, and top it with an oil and red wine vinegar dressing. While I eat, I put together a grocery list and admire the condolences flowers a friend sent me a couple days ago.

2 p.m. — I can’t bring myself to get my mind back into work, so instead I bring my yoga mat out to the backyard and do a 30-minute yoga flow. I was back in my home country for two weeks recently while my dad was in the hospital and when he passed away; one of my distractions during that time was doing yoga outdoors. Now that I’m back home and the weather is warmer, I’ve found a lot of peace in it. Afterwards, I shower and change into a boxy burnt orange T-shirt and my fanciest pair of patterned shorts to meet a new business contact for coffee. I debated wearing shorts for a business meeting, but it’s an unusually warm 70 degrees out today, so who am I to argue with nature?

5 p.m. — The coffee meeting went well, and we ended up sitting outside, so the shorts were a good choice. My new colleague kindly paid for my chai latte. I drive to the grocery store and buy ingredients for burgers, a roasted vegetable orzo dish, and salmon chowder, along with eggs (they’re at $7 a dozen, ugh), sparkling water, fruits, and coconut macaroons. A. is picking J. up from daycare today (we split drop off and pick up each day), so we all reconvene back at the house. I blow bubbles with J. in the backyard while A. grills the burgers, and the adults enjoy a beer to celebrate the beautiful weather. $95.93

7:30 p.m. — I do J.’s bedtime routine, which usually takes 15-20 minutes, while A. does the dishes and puts away her toys — another task we split depending on our moods. Once J.’s in her crib, I go back outside to sit in the hammock until it gets too chilly. Then, I put away laundry while I talk on the phone with my mom and sister (who is staying with my mom for an extended time to help after my dad’s passing). Wrap up my night watching an episode of The Handmaid’s Tale with A. So tense. Do my bedtime routine of removing contacts, washing my face, and brushing my teeth/flossing, and in bed by my usual bedtime of 11:30 p.m.

8 a.m. — A. is dropping off J. at daycare today so I put on some activewear and go down to the basement to exercise. I’ve been using an app called Trainwell for about six months now, and it’s been really good for my consistency and progression with strength training. Today is leg day and I’m sweating profusely. After I’m done, I take a quick shower and put on a short-sleeve green linen shirt and striped shorts. I put my hair in a ponytail with a scrunchie I bought at a craft market in my home country.

10 a.m. — I’m meeting a friend at a bakery, and it’s beautiful out, so I ride my bike there. I get a chai latte, tomato focaccia, and a citrus shortbread cookie. We sit on the rooftop deck and have a good talk (...And cry) about life. On my bike ride back, I stop to admire the Olympic mountain range and take a few photos. Since my dad died, I keep thinking that Bad Bunny’s right: debí tirar más fotos (I should have taken more photos). $20.66

12:30 p.m. — I get in the shower again and wash my hair this time. I wash and style with Briogeo’s Curl Charisma products. Then, I head to the backyard with a can of sparkling water for a phone call with a fellow consultant turned friend who wanted to check on how I’m doing. Our conversation is 90% catching up and 10% about a project we’re working on together. After an hour-long talk, I have Sichuanese takeout leftovers from two days ago for lunch.

2 p.m. — I get on my computer for a short but productive work session. As a community engagement consultant, my projects mainly focus on helping my clients get feedback about their plans, strategies, etc from the people who are affected by their work. I make a presentation for a community advisory group meeting I have next week. We’re visiting friends later today, and once I’m done with work, I make a salad to bring with us.

4 p.m. — A. and I go pick J. up at daycare together and head to our friends’ house. We chat and eat salad and homemade pizza and then head out for a walk. Our friends have two kids and two dogs, and it’s hard to say whether J. has more fun playing with the kids or dogs. I’ve been asking friends if they have any kid clothes that they’re ready to pass along, and we get sent home with a bag of hand-me-downs!

7:30 p.m. — Back home and get J. in bed. I have a love-hate relationship with her early bedtime: love how much free time I have after, hate that it means I’m usually home by 7:30 p.m. I lounge around, text friends about weekend plans, and catch up on the news until I get sleepy around 10:30 p.m.

8 a.m. — I wake up and lay around until 8:30 a.m. when we hear J. starting to stir. Words cannot express how happy I am to have a child who sleeps past 8 a.m. We all get dressed to go out to breakfast. Brunch has always been my favorite meal to eat at a restaurant, and we’ve turned J. into a brunch food enthusiast as well. It’s chillier out today, so I decide on a blue striped button-back tank, teal pants, and a chunky brown cardigan. After becoming a parent, I’m constantly trying to balance looking cute with dressing comfortable to look after a child.

10 a.m. — We go to a Hawaiian spot and get a loco moco for me, chicken and bubble waffles for A., and hash brown patties for all ($50.14). We both share our food with J. After breakfast I get a chai latte and a steamer for J. from a nearby café ($10.38), and A. gets a Vietnamese iced coffee from a different spot (with his personal account, which I’m not tracking). Yes, chai lattes are my financial weakness. Back home, I video call my mom so she can be delighted by everything J. says and does. Both of my parents were over the moon when they became grandparents, and I get teary-eyed thinking about how much I wish my dad could also get to see her grow up. $60.52

1:30 p.m. — J. is down for a nap and I hype myself up to finish some neglected work. I make an agenda to go with the presentation I made yesterday. The meeting is in Spanish, and I draft the materials in Spanish so they sound more natural, but then I also have to translate to English for client review. Most of my contracts are with state and local government, and the topics tend to be things that I’m sure the current presidential administration would frown upon. Luckily, they are all funded by local and state revenue sources and business is as good as ever. Take that, orange man!

3 p.m. — Have a snack of cheese and crackers and wake up J. to meet with friends at the park. We’re a total of six adults, six children, and two dogs walking, biking, and strolling along a 2.5-mile lakefront trail. Afterwards, some of us head to my favorite taproom for dinner and drinks. We order a plain burger for J. and two special burgers plus fries for A. and I for dinner. A. and I each have two draft beers, and we pick up a few canned and bottled beers on the way out (A. must have paid for the cans and bottles with his personal account). One of our friends gifts us a hand-me-down windbreaker, balance bike, and bike helmet as an early birthday present for J. So kind! $41.49

8 p.m. — We were having so much fun that we’re back home slightly past J.’s bedtime. Whoops! I love active days when we’re having fun with friends and don’t get home until bedtime. After we get J. in bed, A. and I enjoy our weekly board game night. We play Azul while we split the bottled beer we got, and I eat a couple coconut macaroons. Sadly, I lose at the board game.

8 a.m. — Get up and put on some activewear since our plans for this morning are to try a new-to-us breakfast spot and go on a hike. At the breakfast spot, I order a salmon and veggie scramble, A. gets French toast, and we order an egg and fruit plate from the children’s menu for J. I see several tables that include grandparents with their grandchildren, and it makes me miss my dad so much. I thought the future held so many more outings with both of my parents and J. $62.24

10:45 a.m. — We get to the trail and put J. in her hiking backpack. She is stoked. We picked an urban trail that goes down a bluff and into a beach on the Puget Sound. At the beach, we sit on a log and watch her play in the sand while we chat and enjoy the sunshine. I carried her in the backpack on the way in and A. carries her on the way out.

1:30 p.m. — Back home and I put J. down for a nap. Shower and change into a cropped light blue tank top and floral patterned pink and white shorts. It’s warm again, so I head outside to relax in the hammock. While I’m there, I take a second to pay off my credit card. This month, there’s $2,500 of unexpected travel expenses on it. Some of it is from traveling to my home country when my dad was hospitalized, and some is for an upcoming trip for A., J., and I to visit my brother in Texas, where my mom and sister will meet us. I thought seeing J. would lift my mom’s spirits. I paid for the plane tickets with my personal account since we have two big trips planned for the year that took up our joint travel budget. I gulp as I see my checking account dip below $500, but it’s important to be with my family right now and I know I’ll replenish it.

3 p.m. — Get J. up from her nap and we take a walk to the garden store. A. is the gardener of the household and he wants to pick up grass seed, a couple garden tools, and something new to go in one of the garden beds. He decides on bok choy. He also continues to muse about planting a pear tree and asks the staff some questions about it. After we walk back, we let J. try out her new balance bike. She squeals with excitement when we show it to her, but let’s just say it’ll take some practice before she makes it very far in it. $71.68

5 p.m. — A. starts preparing the roasted vegetable orzo dish that I bought ingredients for, and I alternate between folding laundry and playing outside with J. She wants to sit in the hammock, but she doesn’t want me to sit in it with her. Rude. I also sort through the hand-me-downs and put away fall/winter outfits for later in the year. After dinner, I sit outside with J. to split a pineapple and coconut flavored popsicle.

8 p.m. — I’ve been meaning to buy a couple of books about death and grief for children (Something Very Sad Happened and Everywhere, Still) and find them on Bookshop.org. I don’t think J. realizes anything has happened, but I have told her that my dad died and that means we won’t see him again. I want to tell her about my dad as she grows up, and I hope the books will help. I also do some prep for my upcoming trip to Texas: I text my neighbor about catsitting and browse around for rental cars. Looks like it would be in the $300 range for a mid-size SUV — I will book it in the next few days. My neighbor texts back that she can watch my cats! $41.64

10 p.m. — Watch Last Week Tonight with A. and fret about the cruelty of deporting people without due process. I became a US citizen a few years ago and I often find myself thinking that I didn’t go through all that work for this. My upper back is feeling tense, so I find a 10-minute yoga video to stretch the neck, shoulders, and upper back and do that before bed. A. buys some diaper pail liner bags and pumpkin powder that we mix into our dog’s food from Amazon. $44.13

7:30 a.m. — Start to drift awake and hear J. starting to stir shortly after. Her daycare is closed today, so A. and I have agreed to take the morning off together and then take turns working in the afternoon. He makes us eggs and bacon for breakfast and then heads to the Vietnamese coffee place in our neighborhood for a coffee. On a whim, I ask him to bring me a matcha latte, since I haven’t tried one from that spot before (I end up finding it too sweet). $15.62

10 a.m. — We head out on a walk to a produce market in our neighborhood. I forgot to buy asparagus for the roasted vegetable orzo, so we buy some, plus a few pears, and A. grabs a flavored sparkling drink. Once we’re back home, we put the asparagus in the oven and add it to the orzo. I have leftover orzo for lunch with J. and A. starts his work shift. $10.94

1:30 p.m. — Get J. down for a nap and head to the basement for a workout. After I’m done, I wash my hair, change into a cream colored A-line dress with buttons down the front, and head up to my office for my work shift. I work on a presentation for a different community advisory group meeting and have a client meeting to prepare for an advisory group meeting this week. I also log on to pay my state Business and Operations tax and realize that with all the commotion in my life, I forgot to pay last month. I hold my breath as I click through to see the penalty, and luckily it is only $7. I pay last month’s tax and schedule this month’s payment through my business bank account.

6 p.m. — A. and I just joined a book club with friends and today is our first meeting. Our babysitter arrives and we update her on J.’s current evening routine before we head out to meet our friends at a pub. A. and I split a green salad and a large pizza with one other friend (looks like we didn’t venmo him, but his share would have only been ~$13). I get one beer, and A. takes full advantage of the fact I’m driving and gets three drinks. We discuss this month’s book, North Woods, which was not my vibe. This group of friends is mostly parents, and it’s nice to spend some adults-only time together. $103.97

10 p.m. — Get back home and pay the sitter. She is a neighbor and it’s nice to have a familiar face to watch J. Chill on the couch with the local news in the background and head to bed at 11. $100

8 a.m. — I don’t have much going on today, so I pull on some of my staple comfort clothes, a gray T-shirt with a cartoon golden frog on it and a pair of pink joggers. Head out to drop J. off at daycare and make myself two pieces of toast with cashew butter and honey for breakfast once I’m back. I call the vet to schedule my cats’ annual checkup next week.

10 a.m. — I log on to my computer and start my day with a call with a former client who is interested in working together again. I spend the rest of the morning sending updates about various projects and setting up my new accounting reports for a renewed contract. I joke that I’ve become a self-taught accountant since starting my business, because as a small business owner you have to learn about all sorts of business administration tasks.

12 p.m. — Break for lunch and have most of the leftover orzo (minus a small portion for J.’s dinner). I watch a video about how productivity culture is wearing us down before I change into an activewear tank top and shorts to take a leisurely stroll to a post office dropbox to mail a check to a vendor. It’s nice to combine outdoor time with a work errand.

2 p.m. — Back at my desk, I send a couple of emails and start to feel myself slow down. I’ve learned from previous experiences with grief that there’s no use in forcing myself to work, it just means things take longer to do and I feel drained after. So I call it a day and head outside for some yoga in the backyard. I take a quick shower after and settle into the hammock to relax and read Land of Milk and Honey. I normally really enjoy dystopian novels, but the writing style of this one has been hard for me to click with, so it’s taken me a few weeks to get through it.

5:30 p.m. — A. gets home with J. and we hang out in the backyard together until A. starts working on the salmon chowder. I give J. her dinner and then bring her back outside to use her balance bike. After a few minutes, she gives vibes that she would like to take a walk in the stroller instead. I set out for a walk with her and something about the late afternoon sun reminds me of the first time we took her out on the stroller when she was five days old and my parents were with us. I decide to indulge the nostalgia and retrace our steps from that day.

8 p.m. — J. is asleep and I have dinner with A. On weeknights we usually eat after she’s in bed because we start cooking when she gets home from daycare, and it’s nice to have the time for just the two of us. After dinner we sit on the front steps and reminisce. I point out a couple of crows that seem to be making a nest in a tree across the street. After it gets dark, I decide that I feel like baking and look around the kitchen to see what ingredients we have. I make brownies with a layer of shredded coconut in the middle. By the time they’re out of the oven, it’s too late to wait for them to cool down before I go to bed, so I just take a small test bite. Delicious!

7:30 a.m. — Get up and put on some activewear to be ready to exercise later. Today is picture day at daycare, so A. and I carefully consider J.’s outfit and backup outfits, and I put her hair in space buns. When I drop her off, I see a kid come in wearing a tuxedo — sorry J., you don’t own anything that fancy.

9 a.m. — I stop by the grocery store since I don’t have anything for lunch today (we’re having leftover salmon chowder for dinner, and I don’t like eating the same thing twice in a day). I pick up romaine lettuce, a bell pepper, a red onion, and two avocados ($8.41). Then, I stop by my favorite bakery to pick up a loaf of bread to go with our chowder tonight. I decide on a polenta sourdough loaf, and also get myself an olive tapenade focaccia and chai latte for breakfast ($23.10). $31.51

10 a.m. — Log on to my computer and get on a call with a couple other consultants to debrief about a project we applied for but didn’t get. While I’m on the call I see an email come through from a new client that she’s gotten approval to proceed with a new project together, planning and facilitating two community feedback sessions. That’s consulting in a nutshell! I write her back about next steps and then I head to the basement for a workout. My afternoon is busy with calls and I have a meeting after business hours today, so it’s my one chance. It’s arms and shoulders day, my favorite.

12 p.m. — I make a salad with the vegetables I bought today (plus carrots from the fridge), and I poach an egg and mash one of the avocados I bought with salt, pepper and lemon juice to spread on a slice of the polenta sourdough. Yum! I’ll have enough for lunch tomorrow, too. Shower and change into a black short-sleeve floral shirt and my second fanciest blue shorts before I go back to my desk for three back-to-back calls.

4 p.m. — Wrap up my afternoon calls and head to the backyard and call back A.’s aunt, who called a few days ago to check on me. We have a nice chat about grief, work, and the state of the world. A. and J. get back home, and she is not wearing any of the picture day outfits we picked out. Hang out with them for a few minutes before I have to log back on for a 6 p.m. community advisory group meeting that I am facilitating. These tend to be outside of business hours since the participants do this in their spare time. I try not to have more than one evening call per week to keep a good balance between work, family time, and social time.

8 p.m. — The call is done, and I am so tired. It was a good meeting and I feel moved by how the participants trust me to share their personal experiences with vulnerable topics, but facilitating can feel like a workout sometimes. J. is already asleep, which is a downside of evening meetings. Eat my leftovers and finally get around to cutting up the brownies I made yesterday. I lay down on the couch to reserve the rental car for Texas (ends up being $268 and will be charged when I pick it up) and finish reading Land of Milk and Honey, so I mark it as read and leave a review on The Storygraph. Thanks for reading my Money Diary/grief journal!

“I thought this was a typical week in terms of how many activities we had and how many times we went out to eat or picked up coffee. Getting a babysitter is more of a monthly occurrence, so that would be the one expense that doesn’t tend to happen every week. I feel like every week we end up spending ~$100 on random household purchases, like the diaper pail liner bags or children’s books — but I also feel like that’s just life with a young child! Writing the diary also made me think about how it’s unfortunate that family emergencies can be so expensive, like spending money on last-minute plane tickets to see my dad. At the time, I didn’t know that would be the last time I would see him, so I am glad that I have the means to cover an expense like that. After I submitted the diary, I found out that I will be getting $12,000 from my dad’s life insurance. I plan to use it to start J.’s college savings account, and it’s so special to me that even though he’s not around anymore, my dad will still be able to give her a wonderful gift years from now.”