A Week In Long Island On A $228,000 Household Income

Editor’s Note: Due to an error in the original submission, the diarist’s age was incorrect at time of publication. Her correct age is 38, as reflected in the updated copy.

Occupation: Paralegal
Industry: Real estate
Age: 38
Location: Long Island, New York
Salary: $130,000
Household Income & Financial Setup: My husband, B., works hourly so our annual household income varies. Last year it was $228,000. We do not pool all of our money together, our finances are separate as are our credit cards, but we split bills equally, with him giving me a set amount monthly which I use to pay the bills over the course of the month. We split the bills that fluctuate (electricity, oil) in half when they are due.
Assets: Our house: ~$550,000; my 401(k): ~$14,000; my savings: $3,000; checking: $1,000; B.’s 401(k): this exists, but I don’t know how much he has in it (it’s not much); three cars (two paid in full and one that we just bought a year ago so it still has debt on it); two boats (older, and paid in full). B. usually has about $10,000 in a savings account but I don’t keep track and we don’t share accounts jointly.
Debt: Mortgage: $245,000; HELOC: $68,000; car: $25,000; (my) credit card debt: $7,000.
Paycheck Amount (Bi-weekly): $3,405.88
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: $3,846.88. This includes taxes ($10,000 a year) homeowners insurance and additional flood insurance (required because we live on the water). We refinanced during COVID-19 into a 15-year mortgage with a low rate; we have 10 years left on it as of December 2025.
Loan Payments: Car: $500; HELOC: $500; credit card: $500.
Car Insurance: $351.50 (for three cars).
Cell Phone: $263.15
F45 Gym Membership: $179
Savings: $1000
Remarkable: $3.25
Microsoft: $10.85
Peloton: $44
Hulu: $9.99
Internet: $128

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
My parents were teenage parents so they always stressed the idea that I didn’t “want to end up like them”, working very hard for very little. That said, they never finished high school, so even though I was expected to go to college, we had no idea how to pay for it or what the scholarship process looked like. I did one semester and dropped out, started working, met my husband B., and moved to New York. I’m currently enrolled in an associates program that I am taking my sweet time finishing and that I pay for in cash. If I don’t have the cash to pay the tuition, I skip classes that semester.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
My parents didn’t have a lot of financial literacy. They both grew up very poor, had me when they were young, and were doing their best to make a better life for me and my younger sister. I know that they had some retirement accounts but they were never discussed. Most of the time, any money conversations were about how we couldn’t afford XYZ.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was working the light board at my high school theater, for spending money. It was the only job my parents would let me have (because it was in school) and it paid $18 an hour, so even two or three hours was more money than a lot of my peers were making. Plus, all my friends were there. I also babysat from the time I was 11 to 15, but that was unpaid and just expected as the older female child.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Yes. All the time. My parents had me when they were 16 and my father was homeless until they were 18 and old enough to qualify for public assistance. We had Section 8 and food stamps growing up, until I was around eight and my parents qualified to buy their own home. By the time I was in high school, I knew better than to ask for anything. There was no money for allowances; sometimes there was money for bigger chores, but helping with the house was expected. I was paid in the privilege of getting to live there and getting to do (some) school activities. It was easier to try to find a way to get things myself than it was to ask for something, knowing that the answer was that we couldn’t afford it.

Do you worry about money now?
Sometimes. I know intellectually that I make decent money and I have excellent health insurance, finally, but I do have anxiety and I panic when I see large bills sometimes.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I moved out when I went to college at 17 and never moved back. I have a small savings and a small retirement and B. has some savings from his inheritance, but apart from that, I’m trying to pay off debt while living paycheck to paycheck. I do save though, so it’s not too bad.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My husband received around $90,000 when his grandmother passed away, and when we bought our house his parents gave us $25,000 toward the deposit and $25,000 for improvements. My dad gave us $10,000 and my mom gave us $5,000. When my stepdad died my mom paid off my car, our credit cards, and gave me some money that he had set aside (the total was around $25,000). She said he wanted $5,000 to be specifically for going on a vacation (which we did! We used it to go to Florida, rent a car and drive from Miami to Key West for B.’s birthday one year). Our parents also paid for half of our destination wedding in 2017 to the tune of about $20,000 total.

7:25 a.m. — I did not sleep well and I drag myself out of bed super late. It’s okay though, I took a shower after my run last night and I just need to straighten my wild hair, get dressed, and roll. I pack my breakfast and lunch quickly and I’m out.

9:32 a.m. — Breakfast is Greek yogurt with blueberries, walnuts, and sugar-free granola that I have been hoarding forever, plus coffee that is free at work. I buy groceries once a week and meal prep, so this was all on last week’s budget. I’m trying really hard to spend my money as though I don’t have any credit. I got a bit dependent on racking up debt and transferring it to a zero-interest credit card a couple of years ago while my husband was out of work. I am determined to pay off all of my debt this year and considering I’ve doubled my salary in the last two years, there is no reason I can’t. I do enjoy the credit card points though and I fly for free at least twice a year using them, so the plan is to simply pay my expenses every day and stop spending when I’m out of cash. Let’s see how it goes.

12:30 p.m. — Lunch time. Today it’s a mason jar of homemade chicken soup (that I am getting really good at, if I do say so myself) and a half a bag of salad. Again, I bought it during last week’s meal prep so, no spending here.

1 p.m. — My best friend from high school is moving to NY and needs a place to stay while she finds an apartment. I have one month to get my shit together for her to stay with me and I will be on vacation for a week of that. In the spirit of pre-vacation panic, I’ve decided to pay for meal prep for the next two weeks (they’re fully prepared meals delivered to my house three times a week for breakfast, lunch, and dinner). It’s only $100 more than my normal two-week grocery budget and, if I don’t eat out, I get my time back and don’t waste money — we shall see. $499.31

4:30 p.m. — Not much going on today. I mostly keep to myself here and I can either get tons done or have a lazy day. Today, I do some necessary busy work and use some legal AI to speed up reviewing leases for properties my company may purchase. It’s a very time-consuming task for something we might not even buy, so I feel like this is where AI is useful. (I don't use AI for finished product work, so I always check everything. AI does a B– job at summarizing documents, but it’s handy for extracting what clauses are in which leases and which paragraphs I should look for pertinent information in... Provided you give the right detailed prompts.) On my commute home, I listen to an audiobook that I thought I didn’t like, but that is surprising me with its late-story twisties (The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley. Highly recommend). By the time I get home I only have 45 minutes left of the book, so I keep my headphones in and do some cleaning while I finish it up.

7:45 p.m. — It’s trivia night! I play in a bar trivia league with my girlfriend every Wednesday. My husband, B., works four-10 (four days a week, 10 hours a day), so he usually gets home right when I’m leaving on trivia night. I say a quick goodbye and then call him from my car to give him the tea about my old job; I’ve been gone from that job for about a year and half and my old boss texts me every holiday and calls me randomly every two or three months. He misses me. Which he should, I’m the best. This time he’s calling to tell me someone got fired (finally) and I am here for the drama!

10 p.m. — I am not here for the drama. We came in second at trivia and won a $25 gift card that we will use next week, but my friend’s ex also showed up and THAT is not the vibe we needed tonight friends, not even a little bit. We know everyone that works in this bar, and I am not shy about the fact that this man should not be anywhere near here. But I guess she wants what she wants right? Sigh. Anyways, I had three NÜTRLs and we shared some doughnuts that are new on the menu. $60.88

11 p.m. — I have to tell B. about the ex showing up. He’s not happy. He thinks my friend isn’t telling me the whole truth about what’s going on and I know he’s right, but she needs someone to lean on, and I try really hard to be a good friend to all of my people. You can’t force people to make good choices, ya know?

7:45 a.m — I’m always late on Thursdays. I also always get breakfast out on Thursdays. Just a quick coffee shop run: ice brown sugar espresso and an impossible breakfast sandwich, plus tip. I eat at work and write this diary. I am in my lazy girl job and I do not work until 10 a.m. Period. $15

1 p.m. — Turns out I have a lot of work to do so I eat lunch a little late. I always eat in my office since I bring my lunch and like to avoid cafeteria work cattiness. Today’s is the rest of my bag salad from yesterday and fortunately; I have some chicken left over in the fridge because I accidentally left my soup in the car and now, I’m afraid to eat it.

4:20 p.m. — Head home a little early because I have a long commute and am running five miles tonight, so I need some time. I’m training for a half marathon, and I am so very much not a morning work out person, even though I want to be. I get home, slurp some soup, get dressed, and jump on the treadmill for a fartlek run. I got a Peloton treadmill from Craigslist Marketplace last year and saved a ton of money, plus I love it, and it has Netflix. Selling Sunset makes five miles flyyyy.

7 p.m. — Run complete. Kiss B. SHOWER.

8 p.m. — I have a lunch meal prep in the fridge for tomorrow but I made plans with my work bestie to have sushi lunch, so the meal prep will be my dinner. It’s protein pasta, my version of a ragù and some roasted zucchini. 10/10. Hang out with the hubs a bit while I eat and we try to make some weekend plans, then go to bed around 11 p.m.

8:30 a.m. — I’m at work a little early and fill my water and make my little yogurt breakfast, plus a Balanced Breaks Sargento snack pack (from last week’s groceries) because I really did not eat enough for a five-mile run yesterday and I’m feeling it now. I got paid yesterday and this is my mid-month paycheck, which means all the bills. Today it’s our cell phones ($263.22), my credit card payment ($250), and Netflix ($8.69). I made a self-balancing spreadsheet recently because only getting paid twice a month really sucks and I was overspending on my credit card consistently. Now at least if I overspend, I know what to cut back on so I can get back on track and how long that will take. 

1 p.m. — It is a busy day, but I still take a full lunch. My office friend G. and I go out for Mexican (our sushi place closed suddenly because they couldn’t afford their new rent! Sad day) and a glass of prosecco at this new place by us. We’ve been a couple of times for margs and are now friends with the bartender/ waiter, which gets us free chips and salsa and fast service. I get chicken enchiladas, and he asks if I want red, green or mole sauce and then quickly tells me I want the green sauce. You got it, sir! It was delicious and we walk back to the car happy and full. $27

4:30 p.m. — Heading home with no particular plans in mind. The traffic is barely there, which is great! I fly home, where B. is hanging out and apparently hungry. He has decided it’s date night and has the kitchen clean, he’s showered and shaved and he’s eagerly waiting for me to walk through the door. We’ve been having some issues lately, especially surrounding who he voted for and his share of the housework, so this is nice. I really didn’t want to eat out but I can’t crush his little heart when he’s trying so hard, so I suggest a dinner place that he really likes the wings at (we had disappointing wings last weekend) and where I know I can get something light-ish.

7 p.m. — This place is packed! We get sat at a table on the restaurant side of our favorite Irish pub (the side I admittedly did not know existed, but which I feel like exists in every NY Irish pub) and we can see the musician on the other side of the glass door, yet it’s quiet enough to talk. Perfect. B. orders wings and baked chopped clams; I get a side salad and French onion soup, plus apple crumb cake à la mode for dessert and a slice of NY cheesecake. The soup is made with packet broth, and the cheesecake is frozen but tastes like it’s probably Juniors, so it’s still delicious, and we are so stuffed. B. pays.

9:30 p.m. — Early bedtime. I’m beat.

5:15 a.m. — Wake up. Cancel workout class. Go back to bed.

10 a.m. — Actually awake. Yikes I must’ve needed that sleep. I make a pot of coffee as I can hear B. stirring and I don’t mind waking him this late by grinding the beans. While the coffee brews, I put the dishes in the dishwasher and then, complete with coffee, I settle on the couch to make a weekend to-do list.

12:30 p.m. — It’s getting late. I do a workout (developed by my physical therapist to help with IT band syndrome) that takes almost two hours. It’s hard. It’s worth it… Now I don’t want to do anything. B. has bought me some White Claws, and I will start my meal prep routine starting Monday, so this weekend, we hang. I throw some laundry in the machine and grab a Claw.

4 p.m. — Hockey!! I love hockey. I have loved the Avs since I was 10 years old. Now that they’re good again I never get any sleep at this time of year, so an afternoon game is oh so welcome! It’s almost playoff time. I really picked a bad time to start this meal plan, but what can you do?

7:40 p.m. — To do list… Not going great. Hockey game is going even worse. B. is falling asleep on the couch, and I am doing an adult paint-by-numbers of a llama on a settee. It’s a nice night.

9:45 p.m. — I forgot that our sheets are in the washing machine. Sonofa….. Put ’em in the dryer, put some murder shows on and try to stay awake. This calls for more Claws.

12:45 a.m. — Sleep. Finally.

9:30 a.m. — B. has been up for hours, which is not surprising considering he passed out at 8 p.m.! He makes me a cup of coffee, and we make a plan for a productive day today. We have some vacation shopping and home improvement shopping to do. S’gonna be expensive.

12 p.m. — Off to the mall. B. finds his stuff right away — two pairs of jeans and some new shoes. I need bras and basics which… I probably shouldn’t have come to the mall for but whatever, we’re spending time together. We buy B.’s stuff then stop at a restaurant for happy hour before moving on to my stuff. B. pays for happy hour. I’m really not a mall person, or a shopping person, or a public places person. I have anxiety. B. goes to have a smoke, and I go into Aritzia, which is a mistake. So. Many. People. For such basic clothing! I try some stuff on and am leaving empty handed when B. texts me that he’s back inside the mall. I really just need bras, so we go to Victoria’s Secret (I know, I know, sue me) and two bras set me back $104.52. They are so very needed though. B. pays for a cup of Auntie Annie’s pretzel bites with cheese. Are you even allowed to go to the mall without getting Auntie Annie’s? $104.52

4:30 p.m. — We’re over it. No house shopping today; we head back home, stopping at the grocery store on the way. B. gets beer, and I get a bunch of fruit for the snack part of my new meal plan: blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, pineapple and four pink lady apples — we splurgin’ ($26.57). Once we get home, I shuffle some laundry from the washer to the dryer and get to folding. We’re going to need to be tidier if we’re going to have a roommate and laundry is where all of our motivation goes to die. $26.57

5 p.m. — B. shockingly joins me in the laundry folding, and bringing a White Claw for me with him. How sweet. We hit the sack early, around 9:30 p.m.

10 p.m. — Jolted awake by our boiler making a noise. A really, really, really loud noise. And it’s right outside of our bedroom. Ugh, I put in a service request on my phone before we knock out, fitfully. Why am I paying for a service call when I have a contract? I’m too tired to be annoyed. $35

6 a.m. — Back to work and we’re so tired! I go back to sleep while B. showers, groggily get myself up and ready to start this little meal plan week(s). I eat an apple on the drive to work. So sleepy. Tariffs. What even is this world? Breakfast is a sausage and egg sweet potato quiche with spinach, zucchini and what this person is calling pico de gallo (I disagree with this categorization but it’s delicious so some hot sauce will do the trick!). I have a standing Monday meeting at 9 a.m., which, honestly, seems like a trap, but it was set before I started working here and I have no say in it. I inhale my breakfast while keeping the Zoom room on mute and cameras off, so people aren’t watching me eat. The old timers always log in 10-15 minutes before the meeting, just to chat, and I simply cannot.

12 p.m. — Work, work, work, lunch. Meal prep lunch is chicken over cauliflower rice with garlic green beans, fresh tomato, basil and keto balsamic drizzle. I’ve never really done cauliflower rice but I do eat a lot of cauliflower, so I’m not against it. Some carbs would be lovely. Some tea and an apple for a snack.

4:10 p.m. — I’m sneaking out early again so I can go to the gym. I try to come in early when I do this, but no one is really watching so I make up for it when I can. I do an F45 HIIT class on Mondays, Wednesdays, and some Fridays that I pay for monthly. The problem is that I work far away from home, and I don’t want to sit in gross sweaty clothes on a long drive, so I joined one near my house and now I have to time my drive exactly right to be able to make it with enough time to pee and fill my water before class.

7 p.m. — Class was great! Met a couple of people, which is half the reason I joined the class, and now I’m home showered and ready for my meal prep dinner. Garden meatballs and sweet potatoes… It smells awful. These are ground turkey apparently, which, intellectually, I know tastes better than it smells (usually) but ugh, this is off putting. I load it up with seasonings and it’s fine to eat, but gah. No microwave tomorrow!

8 p.m. — B. is home from work and fixing the boiler. I do love that he’s so handy and friendly. He got to know the service guy that came to do our yearly service and who told him to cancel the service call (we’ll get the $35 back) because we have everything that we need to fix it ourselves better than the oil company can. Apparently, NYS regulations prevent the oil company from using certain types of tools to blow clogs from our lines, which means we’re blowing them out every few weeks, and in the meantime, it sounds like our house is going to explode. The more you know. (Note to non-New Yorkers: Our heat runs on home heating oil, which is stored in a 250-gallon tank behind our house and has to be serviced and maintained yearly. I did not know heating oil was a thing when I moved here 17 years ago.) 

6:30 a.m. — I’m awake and surprised by how little I want to eat. Normally I always want to eat… Like… Always. Eating is my thing. I guess this plan is doing what it’s supposed to do. I make some tea while B. is in the shower and get my clothes and meals together. It’s still going to take me 45 minutes to get to work but the feeling of not having to rush and being early is so nice.

8:15 a.m. — Early to work, so decide to veg out a little in my car. I like to listen to a Spotify playlist called the Daily Drive, which is a compilation of a few podcasts and music that I listen to regularly. What was once a nice way to stay informed is now a nice way to panic and question all of my life choices as we descend into some sort of dystopian who knows what. I just keep reminding myself that I don’t have kids and if the world burns, I will not be leaving any legacy behind to deal with the fallout.

1 p.m. — I’m taking over the position of someone who is retiring and today is exactly two weeks until he leaves. Then I will go on vacation for a week. Everyone is shuffling things around and I don’t think anyone really knows what he does. Why they decided to do this now is a question that will never have an answer, but little do they know, I have plans to turn this whole thing on its head as soon as possible once I get back. In the best possible way of course, I am very organized, and this company is…. Well… Not. That will change as soon as I’m not under the thumb of someone who thinks you can’t make a PDF searchable.

4:30 p.m. — Heading home and the drive home is for podcasts and audiobooks. Today I’m listening to Redhanded. For some reason I’m really into British humor and writing these days, but I’ve been listening to Redhanded for years and they’re a reliable go to. Plus, my other favorite podcast is currently covering botched midwifery care at a birthing center in Texas, and I just can’t handle the sadness today. I get home so unusually early that I catch the man delivering my meal prep for the next two days and don’t even finish my podcast. It’s soo nice out! I quickly change into running clothes and get outside for a quick four-mile run before B. gets home. He doesn’t really eat at home, so the meal prep works out well for both of us and hey, very little waste!

6 p.m. — B. sends the money for our joint bills today and I login to make sure the ones that are not on autopay are scheduled to go through. Today I’ll pay most of our joint expenses and put something into savings. I put $500 per paycheck into an account that is easily accessible and then whatever is left at the end of the two weeks goes into my not-so-easily accessible savings account. This week that means $500 to savings, $250 for my car, $127.15 for internet, and $3,846.88 to our mortgage (homeowners, flood insurance, and taxes included). The only thing left to pay is $500 to our HELOC which I will pay next week, so I have some cash in my account until I get paid again. My spreadsheet says I’m currently $501.75 in the hole, so next week I won’t put anything towards savings and will pay off my points card instead. 

8:30 p.m. — I’m going old school and watching a little Wives with Knives on Hulu. I cannot complain about stabby ladies: Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. B. is watching boat videos on his phone; we’ve been gifted a new (to us) boat (hence the reason we have two boats) and have no idea how to drive with both engines so he’s in charge of that. I’m doing some more llama painting. I think having pretty art hanging in my new office will make me less furious at the level of disorganization that I am set to inherit. While I paint, we chat about what we’re going to do this weekend. It’s our 19-year dating anniversary on Saturday. Who would have ever thought….

“I’m not entirely surprised that I spend most of my extra money on food and going out. I’ve been trying to be more social and spend time with friends, which somehow always revolves around food and drinks. The spreadsheet was a great exercise and I feel like it really helped reign in my extra spending. I’m shocked I didn’t shop more, so that in itself is a testament to the power of the spreadsheet! Tracking my spending in such a detailed way makes me feel like I’m spending in a more forward thinking manner and with a better eye toward my future goals.”