A Week In Brooklyn On A $220,000 Joint Income

Occupation: Senior manager, PR and communications
Industry: Retail
Age: 35
Location: Brooklyn
Salary: $112,128
Joint Income/Financial Setup: ~$220,000. My partner A., freelances so his income varies around $60,000-$120,000 depending on how busy he stays. We split most things 50/50. We are domestic partners and he is on my company’s health insurance plan, so he also pays me back the additional deduction and taxes taken out of my paycheck to cover him.
Assets: 401(k): $74,513; Roth IRA: $14,841.
Debt: $5,015 on credit cards.
Paycheck Amount (Bi-Weekly): $2,518 after taxes and deductions + $222 from my partner.
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: $1,660 for my half of a one-bedroom.
401(k): 5% contribution with 4% employer match.
Transit Deductions: $50, pre tax.
Pet Insurance: $26 for my half.
Gym: $19
Phone: $75
Utilities: Varies anywhere from $150-$250.

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, college was always expected. I come from an immigrant family, and everything my parents did was to set my siblings and myself up for a future. I was a high-achieving student at a competitive public school, and attended a top state university. My parents participated in a 529 plan and pre-purchased my in-state tuition when I was around 8 years old, making it considerably inexpensive. I believe they paid $22,000 for all four years, which I was extremely grateful for.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
We were middle class but my parents were very frugal, since they both grew up poor in their home countries. Since arriving in the US, it’s always been very important for them to have a great credit score, so they never missed a payment and saved every penny. We hardly ever ate out and only went on a vacation maybe every other year. However, my mom was also able to retire early, and I know they will also leave a comfortable inheritance for my sibling and myself.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was a hostess at a restaurant when I was 15. I mainly got the job to start earning pocket money for myself. I worked for a few years in the restaurant industry throughout high school and saved enough to buy a used car (my parents’ old car), as well as for a solo trip to Europe when I turned 18 and graduated. I had only been to Canada and Mexico previously.

Did you worry about money growing up?
A bit: we could afford all the essentials but never had “fun” money. I got used to shopping for things on sale or thrifting, which is something I still carry with me to this day. There were lots of times in high school when I would wish we had money to buy the trendy things I saw other girls wearing. I do remember one time in elementary school, we were going on a “Little House on the Prairie” field trip, and we had to buy these old-fashioned costumes, but they were pricey and my mom couldn’t afford them. I tried to tell the teacher I was going to skip the field trip but she insisted on it. We ended up finding something at Goodwill, even though it was not the exact style. However, I’m glad my parents instilled a frugality mindset in me now, because it helps me budget an average salary in an expensive city.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes, more so now. Even though I can split expenses with my partner A., we are both victims of lifestyle creep from time to time. Most of our disposable income goes towards going out, eating out, and traveling. I admit I do also have a bit of a shopping problem (especially working in fashion!) which has accumulated a bit of credit card debt.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
At 22, when I graduated. I worked part time throughout college but my parents still helped out with certain things like my car insurance. I don’t have a financial safety net right now, which is something I am going to work towards once I pay off my credit cards. Technically, I could use my 401(k) in an emergency, and both A. and I have supportive parents who would help us out if absolutely needed. But I prefer to be independent and have my own funds.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Yes, last year my parents started my Roth IRA and contribute the max $7,000 every year, as I did not want to contribute beyond my 401(k). This is partially a hobby of my mother’s, who has been playing with the stock market since she retired early. She likes to “play” with my retirement money but will give any earnings to me. Win-win.

7:30 a.m. — I wake up slightly earlier than usual since I have a meeting at 9 a.m. on the dot, and we are in office most days now. I take my morning probiotic and drink a cup of water: I have a sensitive stomach and find taking probiotics and eating a healthy, mostly non-processed diet helps. Afterwards, I start getting ready: Too Faced mascara, Anastasia brow gel, NARS tinted moisturizer/sunscreen, Charlotte Tilbury bronzer, and Merit blush balm. I keep this routine to 10 minutes max. I pack some pre-made boiled eggs, my za’atar chicken and rice pilaf lunch (which was the leftovers from last night’s dinner) and take the subway to work (which is covered by my prepaid transit card).

8:30 a.m. — On the way, one of my friends texts in a group chat about a trip coming up. We are all going to France for a wedding, and then planning a day trip to a vineyard afterwards. We each owe $47 for the bus round-trip. I venmo her since she will pay in Euros for all of us. $47

9 a.m. — I peel my eggs and make Earl Grey tea at work (I stopped drinking coffee during the pandemic). I also take some fiber gummies my mom sent me (she sends me a lot of vitamins and supplements).

12:30 p.m — Work is mainly uneventful, as it’s quiet during the summer. I eat the lunch I bought. There were visitors for a meeting, and they had leftover pasties, so I also have a mini croissant as my dessert. I hardly ever eat sweets, but I’ve been good at eating healthy and cooking almost all my meals lately, so I allow myself this treat.

5:15 p.m. — I leave the office a bit early and head to the gym. There are massive train delays due to the rain so it takes me nearly an hour to get to my home station, near where the gym is. 

7 p.m. — On the way home from the gym, I stop in at the Walgreens next door, since I am out of toner. I buy Thayer’s Witch’s Hazel ($14.99) and some cotton balls ($4). It’s amazing how much things are inflated — the same toner was always $9.99 before COVID-19!! $19.24

8:30 p.m. — I quickly down an Oath Nutrition Clear Whey protein shake in Frosty Lemonade and start dinner. I make a soup with shrimp, mushrooms, and tomatoes, using Maesri Thai Tom Yum Soup paste. I love to cook and hate spending money on eating out unless it’s with friends or for a special occasion. I read a lot of cooking blogs and have found Maesri to be one of the most cheap and authentic Thai brands. The soup is yummy, and my partner A. and I eat two-thirds of it for dinner. I have a work lunch tomorrow, so the leftovers will be A.’s lunch. Afterwards, we relax and watch Sorry, Baby. A. is a big cinephile and pays for all our streaming subscriptions and any movie rentals. Before we dated, I only had Netflix and watched everything on my laptop. He was quite horrified by this and now we have a 75-inch screen tv and a Sonos surround-sound system.

10:30 p.m. — I walk the dog and prepare for bed. Double-cleanse with Aprilskin cleansing balm, Eminence daily exfoliating cleanser, Thayer’s toner, Glow Recipe blackberry retinol, and Farmacy honey halo moisturizer. This is a bit early for me, but I’m tired and fall asleep quickly!

6:30 a.m. — I wake up early for some reason, maybe because I did go to bed early. I lay in bed for nearly an hour and then get up. I take my probiotic and go through my makeup routine. Today for breakfast, I pack a Chobani 2% mango Greek yogurt since I’ve eaten hard-boiled eggs three days in a row now. I do love my eggs though!

9 a.m — Arrive at work and it’s another quiet day. We were three days a week for a long time and just went up to four days. A lot of people are really unhappy about this, especially as not everyone is following the mandate. 

12:30 p.m. — Head to my work lunch. It’s at a trendy steakhouse and the vendors I’m meeting order a bunch of apps to share. I go with a butter salad salad with grilled steak as my main since I indulge a bit on the apps. They pay.

7 p.m. — Home and thinking about what to eat as we are mostly out of groceries. A. says he is meeting up with the boys at a new taco spot. I’m invited but he warns me it’s a boys night. I decide a quiet night by myself sounds much more appealing. I make a Costco salmon burger we had in the freezer and alternate between reading The Handmaid’s Tale and playing with my dog until bedtime.

8:30 a.m. — I sleep in because I’m WFH today! I didn’t used to sleep so much but ever since COVID-19, I became a deep sleeper and must get at least seven or eight hours every night. I lay in bed since I don’t really have a morning routine during WFH. I chat with A. about needing to go on our weekly grocery run today or this weekend. He is not enthused. I know I will need to wait until he is hungry to bring it up again.

9:30 a.m. — It’s payday, so I make a $500 payment to my credit card that has the highest interest rate (I also paid $1,500 the last payday, aggressively trying to pay this down). The rest I will need for rent next week and extra cash coming up for my trip next month. I check on some work emails but it’s mostly quiet. We have summer Fridays so around 1 p.m. I start logging off. $500

12:30 p.m. — Since we skipped breakfast this morning due to sleeping in, I decide to make us a big brunch. I make bacon, Birch Benders vegan protein pancakes, fried eggs, and leftover sourdough I got from the farmers’ market last week.

4 p.m — I suggest taking the dog to the park to enjoy the nice day (the last couple of days were rainy). I am also trying to up my step count to hit 10,000 a day because I keep hearing it’s an underrated way to get fit. We walk to the park and decide to make it a longer walk and end up going to Greenpoint to try their fabulous restaurant scene. Neither of us are super hungry so we get happy hour drinks first. We stop by a Mexican restaurant that has bar stools outside on a lively street. I get a rosé and my boyfriend gets a beer. He pays (I am not a big drinker so he tends to pay for my drinks).

7 p.m. — The restaurant next to us has outdoor diners eating an amazing-looking panzanella salad. We go for it and it’s delicious. I get a filet mignon with side salad for my main and he gets a pesto pasta with lamb ragu. We also both get Guinness — it’s so rare to see this on a menu outside of Irish pubs! We discuss going on a day trip upstate tomorrow to take advantage of the nice weather all weekend. $72.50

8:30 a.m. — Apparently my body likes routine: I could not sleep in until 9 a.m. A. is still asleep so I take the dog out for his morning walk. I make some bacon and eggs because I want to save our appetite for when we are upstate.

11:30 a.m. — After a bit of a slow start, we head out to Grand Central to catch an 11:55 a.m. train to Cold Spring. We get there early so we can grab seats. $15.25

1:17 p.m. — Arrive in Cold Spring. It’s late and we still need to eat lunch, so we do a short loop that is right on the river and has a small outlook trail. A. wants oysters so we go to a quaint seafood restaurant with outdoor seating and river views. We share oysters and I also get two glasses of rosé and a seafood pasta. A. gets two beers, gazpacho, and a big bowl of mussels. It’s cash only, so he goes to the ATM. (The meal was $80. We’ll split the expenses later, as we have a shared tracker.)

3:45 p.m. — We walk around the small downtown and shop at the local boutiques. We go to a candle shop (I love candles), but A. decides he wants to buy a diffuser to have a nice scent 24/7. I buy a stitching crochet kit with a funny message. $19.51

5:00 p.m. — We still have 30 minutes until we have to catch the train home, so we find a wine bar and have a quick drink. He gets a beer and I get an orange wine. I put down my card since he paid for lunch. $16.82

5:30 p.m. — Buy train tickets quickly on the app and catch the train back to the city! $15.25

8:30 p.m. — Back in the city and we have dinner plans to catch up with a friend. We drop the dog off at home and meet her at a Michelin-starred Vietnamese restaurant. I am still so full from lunch so I just order an appetizer and a salad, while A. orders a huge plate. I have one glass of wine while they both have two drinks. My friend and I didn’t eat much, so we pay a bit then A. covers most of the bill. $48

8:30 a.m. — Feeling slightly hungover from the couple of drinks I had yesterday, and not sleeping quite enough. We lounge in bed for a couple more hours and finally get up to make breakfast before grocery shopping. We go to a specialty shop nearby to get fresh Shewolf bakery bread and also pick up some ’nduja (Italian spreadable salami) and boquerones (Spanish anchovies) to snack on later. A. makes poached eggs to go with the bread and the nduja. $23

1 p.m. — Weekly Trader Joe’s run. We get two bouquets of flowers, jasmine rice, tofu, cut butternut squash, green beans, cilantro, parsley, tomatoes, shredded carrot, edamame, avocado oil, arugula, lemons, limes, chicken breasts, tuna, olives, tea, oat creamer, oven roasted turkey, white cheddar corn puffs, frozen shrimp rolls, and frozen chicken wontons. $77.65

2:00 p.m. — When we get home I realized I forgot canned coconut milk. I go to a nearby grocery store and pick up a can, as well as a couple of Chobani and Fage 2% Greek yogurts. I hate fat-free yogurt and also don’t want full-fat, so these are a happy medium. I don’t bother adding this to our shared expense sheet since it’s not much. $10.37

4 p.m. — I had made an appointment to get a haircut at a Chinatown salon that I saw on TikTok that does $40 haircuts which includes a nice head/scalp massage. I am skeptical but I have naturally straight hair and I just need a trim, so I figure they can’t mess it up that bad. The head massage was more like a scalp scratching, not relaxing at all. But the haircut is pretty decent! I get a good trim and some face-framing layers. I like my hair stylist and her English is good. I tip $10. $50

6 p.m. — Home and time to make dinner. I make a Thai red curry with the groceries we got today and a can of curry paste I had. It’s delicious and our leftovers will be lunch tomorrow. We watch some random movie and pass out early.

8:30 a.m — Morning routine and head to the subway. Because we were three days in office for a long time, I only opted to load $50 per month on my prepaid transit card this year. This lasts me half the month, so I just end up paying with my card the rest of the time. $2.90

12:30 p.m. — Eat my leftovers lunch and go for a 30-minute walk to help with digestion and get steps in.

3:30 p.m — Browse the Abercrombie sale online as I am thinking about getting some barrel pants for the fall. I add four things to my cart to meet the $100 free shipping minimum and plan on returning most things to the store. I do have quite the shopping problem (hence the credit card debt), so I decide to think about it overnight and wait until tomorrow to order.

5:30 p.m. — Leave work and go to the gym. Tap credit card to pay for the metro card. $2.90

7:30 p.m. — Dinner is tom yum fried rice with the leftover paste I had from last week. It’s an open package so I’m trying to use it up. Fairly tasty, but not much different than Thai fried rice I’ve made and had before. Packed the leftovers for lunch tomorrow!

8:30 a.m. — Morning routine and head to subway, another tap to pay. $2.90

10:30 a.m. — I see items in my Abercrombie cart have an extra 15% off. That’s a sign, right? I spend $160 but plan on only keeping one thing and returning the rest. $160

3 p.m. — My coworker remarks how she needs more work clothes now that we are in the office more days. We browse Uniqlo’s JW Anderson collab and decide to make a quick run to the Uniqlo store across the street from us to check it out. I end up buying a boxy Oxford, straight-leg jeans, and a bra tank top that was on sale. All great basics that I’m super excited about. $90

5:30 p.m. — Leave work and go to the gym. Tap to pay again. $2.90

7:30 p.m. — Spend the rest of the evening trying on outfits and starting to plan for our trip soon! 

“I went out to eat more than usual this weekend, because we went upstate. I didn’t realize how much I would spend if I ate out all weekend, even with breakfast at home! I think I will be more conscious that this can’t happen every weekend, as I’m trying very hard to pay down my debt.”