A Week In The New York Tri-State On A $192,250 Household Income

Job Title: Manager
Industry: Nonprofit
Age: 37
Location: New York tri-state area
Salary: $77,250
Household Income/Financial Setup: $192,250 with my partner P. We have fully separate accounts, but think we may get one joint once we’re married early next year, and split the costs of most household bills and food needs.
Assets: Savings: $24,086; checking: $7,334 (just got paid); Mutual Fund brokerage account: $27,399: Roth IRA: $17,605; 403(b): $150,763. I currently do not have any joint accounts with P.
Debt: $0
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $1,842 after taxes and contributions. 
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses
Housing Costs: $2,700 total rent, split with P., which amounts to $1,350 for my half.
Monthly Loan Payments: $0 — my student loans were forgiven with the Public Service Loan Forgiveness! Highly recommend (if our current admin doesn’t destroy this too....urgh). P. has his own student loans he contributes to each month. In terms of credit cards, it varies depending on the month, but it’s usually around $180-$500. I always pay the statement balance off in full, and usually only charge travel or bigger expenses that I know I can pay off when the due date comes.

Monthly Expenses

Gym Membership: $119
Spotify: $11.99 
Phone Bill: $54 for my portion (P. is on his own family plan).
Internet: My job includes an extra $50 in one paycheck per month for internet costs, so I cover the $45 for this.
All Streaming Services: P. covers these, about $70 per month.
Electric: P. covers this bill, unless it’s during the summer from high AC costs, then I contribute to it. Varies from $90-$130 per month.
Renters Insurance & Car Insurance: Bundled together for $165 per month.
403(b) Account: Automatically contribute 15% pre-tax from each paycheck, with about 4% of that going into the Roth IRA portion of the account. My job matched 4% before they ran into some financial issues, so hopefully that benefit will come back soon.
Therapy: $122 (paid through the HSA funds my job provides each year, and my FSA that I contribute to).
FSA Account: $27.09 pre-tax per paycheck.
Transportation Account: $84 pre-tax per paycheck.

Annual Expenses

Amazon Prime: $139 (I cover this).
Costco Membership: $60 (P. covers this).

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, there was definitely always an expectation that I would attend higher education, and I always really liked school and learning, so I wanted to go to college. Only one of my parents went to college, but they both pushed for more education. For my undergrad, I received a partial scholarship, and took out the maximum amount of unsubsidized and subsidized loans. The rest was paid for with a parent loan, and I worked each summer in college and got a job on campus starting my senior year. The work money was more for food and going out, and less for actual tuition payments, since the loans and scholarship had that covered. I also went to grad school, which was paid fully with a Grad PLUS loan that I took out. I worked part time and lived at home, so there wasn’t any rent to pay, but grad school really showed me the reality of how I wanted to manage my finances. I don’t think I fully grasped just how much debt I would be in from my education, or the fact that I would definitely not make enough to pay it back, since that was not a focus in school, and my parents did not realize it either. (Ah, the millennial struggle). I had about $90,000 in student loan debt once I finished both degrees, and was extremely stressed about ever paying it off. I always wanted to work in a sector that felt meaningful and helped people, and ended up working in nonprofits. Once I realized I could participate in the public service loan forgiveness program by staying at a nonprofit for 10 years, I made that my goal, and my loans were fully forgiven under this program! Truly the biggest relief ever. Also, very glad we are making younger students more aware of the possible debt they can now incur from going to college, so we hope more informed decisions get made. 

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
Conversations around money growing up were pretty nonexistent, although, as mentioned more below, I was aware of money issues from listening to my parents argue. What felt explicitly taught was that you should spend what you have, and that having a lot of money was something to look up to and respect, with little mention of the importance of savings and a safety net. How I manage my money was really self-taught, and more so from the lens of “what not to do” as a result of how my parents managed their money. I also have always viewed the acquisition of money as something that should not be filled with greed or a level of superiority over other people. It often felt like in the upper-middle class environment people gave too much respect and admiration to those with a ton of money, and little respect to those who lacked it, which I was never a fan of. 

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was at a local market once I turned 16 and could get my working papers. I wanted to work and become more independent from my parents, but I remember my parents telling me I didn’t “have” to work, since pretty much everything was covered and I really just needed spending money. Wanting my independence won out, and as I mention below, I did not want to have to ask for money. It was part time during the school year and full time during the summer.

Did you worry about money growing up?
I always feel like my relationship to money based on what I saw growing up is complex, and has made me be extremely frugal and cautious with my own money. We were definitely upper-middle class, and as a kid I never had to worry about food on the table. I fully acknowledge the privilege I had in this sense. However, I also had parents with major health problems, which diminished the income exponentially and caused me constant worry. One of my parents grew up with much less money than the other and outside of the US, yet both of their money relationships involved spending what you had, and felt like there was no urgency to actually save or watch what was spent. They did not have very much in savings, and saw debt as normal and something they would always be in. One parent was sick with health issues for many years, and passed away when I was a teen. Their spending habits were that of a spendthrift, and there was only one parent really making any income. My parents would argue about money all the time, because so much of it was spent so often on frivolous things. Meanwhile, the needs of the kids never felt considered. I never wanted to ask for anything, since I felt like they had enough on their plate. For a while, the entirety of their income went to healthcare, with credit cards maxed out, a HELOC taken on the house (that is still being paid each month), and retirement savings basically gone, and they went into an insane amount of debt trying to keep up. When my one parent passed away, we could not keep up with all the payments, almost lost the house, and had our hot water turned off multiple times. They never wanted to talk about how much they were struggling or ask for help with the situation, which is still frustrating. Any money issues (or overall family issues) were pushed away and not discussed or acknowledged. I didn’t even fully understand the extent of the debt until I had to take over my other parent's finances after another illness a couple of years ago. Eventually, things stabilized somewhat (gotta give myself some credit for this), and I made sure I always worked so that I did not have to ask for money. I learned how to be really savvy with what little I had, and make it go a long way out of necessity. I had to grow up faster than most other people I knew, but it also made me really want to try to plan well for my own financial future so that I would not have to live in the constant stress of my childhood.

Do you worry about money now?

I do, probably because of the continued stress I have from my parent’s situation. It never feels like it’s enough, and because I have seen some of the worst case scenarios happen with healthcare costs it is always a concern that some insane expense may come up that I can’t afford. Plus, the current administration’s recklessness stresses me out for the future impact on all of our finances and I never think that I am someone who will somehow be immune to it. Inflation is ridiculous, and I also happen to live in one of the most expensive states. I know I need to chill out about this, because my own finances are fine, and I don’t have to worry about affording basic necessities, can take vacations if I want to and so on. It’s just super hard to ward off that scarcity mindset, or waiting for the other shoe to drop again. As mentioned above, I now help manage my other parent’s finances and other things in their household that they struggle now to do as they’ve aged, which I am constantly worried about (while they continue to choose not to be). 

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Full financial responsibility set in by the time I finished grad school and moved out, around 25. Although I was covering my phone bill and other such bills earlier than that, I did not have to pay for housing costs or most groceries until moving out, which definitely helped me save a bunch. There is technically the financial safety net of my parent’s home or P.’s parents, where we would not pay for housing, but otherwise, all bills and such would have to remain. Even so, we’d still need to contribute in multiple ways if that were to be the case. It honestly consistently shocks me how many people in the New York area are fully or partially subsidized by their parents (I think that comparison at times also contributes to me never feeling like I have enough), but that’s another ramble for another day. 

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Nope, but we will be getting some money as gifts from our family to cover some expenses for our wedding, although the amounts aren’t fully set yet and we’re paying for the bulk of it ourselves. 

8:30 a.m — I’ve been so exhausted from some travel I had to do recently with P., but decide I need to force myself to get to my gym class. I had a rough day yesterday, and usually letting out some energy and getting some endorphins helps. I rush out the door since me and P. chat for a bit too long, but make it just in time. I pay for about 10 classes per month, so I always make sure to use all of them. 

10:30 am — Get back from the gym and make scrambled eggs with an orange and green tea, then shower. I have to head out today to my parent’s house and get some stuff done there, since I’ve been away for a bit. 

12 p.m. — Time to get to the train with my pre-paid card, and I make it with plenty of time to spare. I think about grabbing more tea, but decide I don’t really need it. Somewhat regretting it though.

2 p.m. — I grab an Uber to my parent’s house from the train, since my car is there. Unfortunately it had a bit of a fender bender recently, so I need to get it fixed today or tomorrow. Am hoping I can do it today, since I have a super busy day with work tomorrow. $13.05

4 p.m. — It is not looking like I can get my car fixed today, so tomorrow it is. I rarely eat lunch on the weekends, and usually stick to a bigger breakfast and dinner, but decide to snack on some grapes and chips. Would that be considered a Girl Lunch, as the kids these days say? 😂I also have to run eight million errands for the house, and while I’m out realize I should probably get a refrigerant for my car AC, so that they can also fix that up tomorrow. I am not exaggerating when I say it has been the year from hell with my car. $41.31

6 p.m. — I have some leftover BBQ chicken and potatoes with Brussels sprouts for dinner (I also got some other food for the house earlier that can be there for the week). Any grocery shopping I do here I pay for with their account, since it’s for them. I usually don’t spend much on food while I’m here and just eat whatever is available. I do some laundry while I’m here, too, since I sadly do not have a washer drier in my apartment. 

10 p.m. — I scroll on my phone (should be reading, but distractions…..). I also get some wedding planning done (upcoming nuptials are early next year, eeek), finish laundry and head to bed, since I have a long and early day tomorrow. 

7:30 a.m. — My alarm wakes me up and I’m still exhausted, but I have to get this car stuff done before my work day starts. I eat some grapes and multigrain toast with peanut butter for breakfast, and head out. 

8:30am — I drop off the car, which should luckily only take an hour at most, and walk to a nearby coffee shop. I order a London fog, which I pay for with a gift card I still have from my birthday and it’s $4.35, and relax for a bit checking my emails.

9:30am — The car is ready, and I’m very pleased with the results. It costs me way less than I initially assumed, but they do charge for fixing up the AC issue, which is completely fine. I swear this better be the final issue I have with it this year… $86.99

12 p.m. — I catch up on my emails since I was out a bunch last week, and have my first meeting of the day. There are more meetings this afternoon, so I take a break for lunch. Super happy that my org is looking better financially this year, and we are able to get a cost of living increase coming up, especially since most nonprofits are being ravaged by our current admin’s policies…. Sigh. It is truly the best job I’ve had, so I am glad I won’t have to even think about a new role elsewhere. I heat up some leftover chicken with spinach I made, and have a banana and some chips. I feel like my meals are looking extremely boring so far, but that is usually the case on weekdays for me!

4:30 p.m. — My Zoom meetings are all done for the day, and I definitely feel like it’s about to be a productive week ahead. I have my EOY review, which went really well overall. We talked through some of my goals, and I definitely want to aim for a promotion next year, and think I’d have a good chance of getting it. I’ve also really been wanting to learn more about the advocacy piece of nonprofits, and the policy and legislation impacts that affect the populations that my organization serves. I had done some work around this with the SCOTUS Affirmative Action case recently, and would like the opportunity to do more. 

6 p.m. — I eat the rest of the chicken with some potatoes, and make some roast squash that I got from the local garden I volunteer with. I love being able to get some home grown produce from there, and volunteering has really given me a new perspective and appreciation about how difficult it is to actually harvest and grow food. Especially in a city and with our super modern way of living, we’re so used to just seeing everything available for us at all times in the supermarket, so I realized I’ve rarely thought about how the food actually gets there and where it comes from, and the immense amount of labor that goes into that. I definitely have a new found appreciation for the people who farm as their livelihood.  

7 p.m. — I head back to my apartment on the train with my pre-paid ticket, and plan to be back at my parent’s towards the end of the week again.

8:30 p.m. — I get back home and P. did the usual grocery shopping for items we need, which we split. I pick a bunch of fresh figs from the backyard that our landlord lets us use (yum), shower and relax with a very good blueberry shandy that P. got nearby. Always love a drink that has some type of fruit in it. $50

10 p.m. — Doing some research on other things my car needs (truly the theme for this week) and decide a seat cover would be good, since it’s been stained a bit with annoying food spills. I find it on Amazon ($20.65) and have more gift card money to use. Then me and P. decide to watch Coco, which is one of our favorite movies. P. lost a close family member earlier this year, and Coco is meaningful to us when it comes to family and ancestors. No, we are absolutely not Disney adults, I promise! But we definitely appreciate the movies. 

11:30 p.m. — Off to bed I go, after definitely tearing up at the beauty that is Coco. 

7:30 a.m. — Time to get up and go to my workout class, especially since I’ll be going into the office the next two days. I make it with plenty of time to spare. 

10 a.m. — I decide to grab some goat cheese from a nearby store to go with the figs I picked last night. Legit have never tried this before, but I sprinkle some honey on them after broiling, and they’re pretty good. I also have oatmeal with blueberries and peanut butter, a banana, and some green tea. $6.17

12 p.m. — I don’t have too many Zoom meetings today, so I do some cleaning around the house. P. vacuumed and cleaned a bunch yesterday, but I usually swiffer the floors so I get that done and feel good. I’m a bit of an organized, neat freak, and don’t like any sort of mess in my home. Luckily, P. is the same way, which is one of the many reasons why we work, haha. 

2 p.m. — I finish with a couple of meetings/responding to emails and cleaning, and then shower and eat lunch. I make a little salad with spinach, walnuts, red onion, and sardines, and use some more of the goat cheese on top. Honestly delicious, I may have to do this more often. I have an orange and chips as well. I also get a very sweet message from a person I helped on LinkedIn who remembers me from my last job. A lot of the work I do can often feel very frustrating or thankless in the present moment, but the longer lasting impact it seems to have is what reminds me of why I do this work. 

5 p.m. — P. makes dinner with chicken thighs, broccoli, and rice. I’m part of a book club, and we have our “once every two or three months” meeting tonight, so I want to make sure I eat beforehand. I’ve been wanting to read more in the past couple of years, since it was something I did constantly as a kid, but definitely not as much as I got older and busier. P. got me a Kindle a couple years ago, and it’s made it much easier for me to read more, and get books from the local library on the Libby app. 

6:30 p.m. — I’m off to the book club meeting and tap to pay with my pre-paid card, and walk around a little before since I’m slightly early. 

10 p.m. — Book club is really fun, and honestly just delves into general conversation more so than the book, haha. It’s nice to have an additional social activity every couple of months, that also helps me read new genres. Our previous theme was romance, which is actually what has made me realize I really like Emily Henry books (somehow that feels somewhat basic, but I’ll accept it lol). We decide our next theme will be memoirs, which are some of my favorites to read. I’ve been wanting to read the memoir that Viola Davis wrote, so I choose that, but it doesn’t get randomly chosen. I just order two glasses of red wine, since I ate already and because everything at this spot is ridiculously expensive. $30 for a burger? How are spots getting away with this?! We itemize the bill and split it according to what each person got. $45.91

10:45 p.m. — I tap to pay with my pre-paid card, and finally make it home to get ready for my office day tomorrow. I make a salad to bring for lunch, and put some chips and oranges in a bag. I will say, one of my biggest money-saving hacks over the years has been to rarely buy lunch at work, but I’ve also had jobs where we have a decent amount of events with food, which helps. The next two days will actually have food for the workshops we are doing, so I really just need to think about lunch. 

8 a.m. — My alarm goes off and I truly do not feel like waking up. I swear this mainly happens when I actually have to go into the office. Probably could also be because of the wine I consumed last night, haha. 

9 a.m. — I eat breakfast with a banana, and oatmeal with blueberries and peanut butter, and decide I’ll have tea that is provided at the office. I head out the door on my way and tap to pay with my pre-paid card. I have a bunch of meetings today, and then a workshop I’m organizing later today. I’m excited for it, since I have been planning it for the past couple of months.

12 p.m. — There is legit nobody in the office today, besides my colleague I am doing the workshop with. It’s always so eerie how empty it can be now since most people are hybrid/remote, but I also sometimes like the lack of distractions. I take my lunch break with the salad, orange, and chips and catch up on some phone (doom) scrolling. 

4 p.m. — My entire afternoon is packed with things to do. I have an end of year review meeting with my direct report, which takes longer than I accounted for, since we were talking through goals and what to do in order to get a promotion. Since my org ran into some financial issues last year, I’ve learned that the only promotions going out this year are the ones that should have happened last year, but did not. Makes sense, but also does set some of us back a bit if we wanted a promotion for this year. I also have a general team meeting, before needing to prepare for the workshop. 

7 p.m. — The workshop goes well, although it is stressful since the food order is super delayed. If there is one thing about working in nonprofits, it is to expect the unexpected for every single program event. It has all helped me become a less controlling, and more flexible person though. I finally head home from work and tap to pay with my pre-paid card after finishing the workshop and cleaning up all the food. We ordered a bunch of Mediterranean sandwiches for the event, so I have that for my dinner. 

8 p.m. — Finally home and work on some more wedding things with P., since we’re trying to get our invites out soon, and have some dark chocolate because I have had a long, long day. We watch the newest John Oliver episode as well, and I want to crawl into a hole from the state of this country. Probably not the best way to unwind from my day. 

10:30 p.m. — I get into bed and read the newest Emily Henry book until I finally fall asleep. 

8 a.m. — Once again, I can barely wake up with my alarm. My body knows I have to go into work, I swear. I have avocado toast for breakfast with a banana, and get ready for another long day ahead. 

10 a.m. — I travel into work with tap to pay, and go to pick up stamps for the wedding invites that we are sending this week. They end up being $62, and P. is covering everything stationery related for the wedding, so he sends me the money for it.

12:30 p.m. — I grab a green tea from the kitchen at work, and have a couple of meetings, and review some emails and upcoming projects. I decide to take my lunch break before the madness of the afternoon, and have the other part of the salad I had made with an orange and chips. I take a walk to a nearby market, and decide to grab an iced dirty chai to get through the rest of the day. $7.08

4 p.m. — I have a lull in some meetings before the workshop later, so I finally order a gift for my friend’s kid’s 5th birthday this weekend. I get some books (I buy all my friends' kids books for every birthday) and an educational toy too. I’ve become that adult, but I swear I get fun stuff too…. Sometimes. I split it with my brother, since we’re all friends from back in the day. I haven’t seen them in a while, since they live in another state, so it will be nice to spend time with them. $27.50

7 p.m. — The workshop ends. It went really well. The conversations really flowed, and I love to hear about how much they’ve grown and learned. We have delicious Mediterranean food again, but this time with salad, rice, and chicken, so I have that for dinner while chatting with all of them. My friend works nearby, so we walk for a bit after and then go back to our neighborhood, and tap to pay for the train. 

8:30 p.m. — I finally get home and P. has all the invites ready to go, so they’ll be mailed tomorrow. I’m officially done with work for a while, since I’m taking some days off, and drink another blueberry shandy while eating some chips and hummus. It’s been a week (a month honestly) and I’m ready for the time to relax. 

10:30 p.m. — I shower, brush my teeth, and pack some of my clothes for the upcoming trip P. and I are taking. I get so overwhelmed trying to make sure I take everything I need, and legit plan outfits by the day because that’s just the kind of person I am. It’s the only thing that keeps me on track and helps me not to overpack, which I hate doing.

11:30 p.m. — I continue reading my Emily Henry book and drift off to sleep.

8:30 a.m. — So happy to be off today, but of course I still have eight million things to do. I’m off to my workout class first. 

10:30 a.m. — Mainly stay on the treadmill for the entire class, but it feels good still. I grab a card and gift bag from the discount store for the birthday tomorrow before going back home. Once back, I pick some more figs from the backyard. I have breakfast with some avocado toast and a sunny side up egg, and a banana with Earl Grey tea. I have a couple of the figs as well. $2.18 

12 p.m. — I’m all showered and ready to head out soon to my parent’s again. I have leftover Mediterranean food from work, so I eat that for lunch with some spinach I made with a shallot from the garden. 

2:30 p.m. — I get the train back with tap to pay and the first thing to do is get a manicure and pedicure, then aim to finish up my other errands for the day. P. also lets me know he got the invites out, which is exciting. $36

4 p.m. — After getting a manicure and pedicure, I run a bunch of other errands. I go to the pharmacy to pick up medicine for my parent (covered by them), and grab some Mexican food for dinner, a shrimp salad bowl with black beans and brown rice. $27

7 p.m. — I take a drive down to the beach, and the waves are wild right now, but it’s a really nice night. Being in nature is definitely a must for me, especially with the hectic nature of city life. I also talk with P. about possibly getting John Legend tickets, and decided that we’ll probably aim for those sometime next week. 

10:30 p.m. — I do some more reading and watch a random Netflix doc that I barely pay attention to, and head to bed. 

8 a.m. — More errands this morning (gotta love adulting) and go to the car wash first thing, since my car is truly nasty right now. I didn’t realize they only wash it, and don’t do the interior (now I understand why it was cheaper than usual) so I gotta do all of it with a vacuum they provide. Annoying since I didn’t plan to do this, but I get it done. $24

10 a.m. — I get back after running some additional errands for the house, and make scrambled eggs with green tea. I also have some more figs and a peach. I got the car cover as well, so I put that together and it def looks much better. 

1:30 p.m. — Shockingly, I feel like eating lunch. And on a weekend no less. I'm breaking my own rules. I have some more figs and a banana and the rest of my burrito bowl from yesterday. 

4 p.m. — I go for a walk to a nearby park to get some steps in, and grab an iced chai before I pick up my friend from her house. I usually try to aim for 10,000 and up steps per day, but I don’t have an Apple Watch, so my phone is the judge. We head over to the birthday party together. $6.76

7 p.m. — The party is really nice, and it’s good to see some friends that I hadn’t seen in a while. The food is BBQ style, so I have some side salads like potato and macaroni, with a burger and some grilled veggies with a beer and water. It’s such a surreal feeling to see my friends have children when I’ve known them for so long, often from when we were kids ourselves. It really trips me out each time, because their kids really are little versions of these people I knew way back when. It’s especially crazy to see them be parents when I have the wild tales from their youth. 

10 p.m. — I brush my teeth, shower, and head to bed. Got to wake up super early tomorrow to head out with P. on our trip.

“It was really fun for me to do this diary and see how much I can actually spend in a week. I feel like the money spent on food and drink was definitely typical, but everything is so dependent on what plans I have during the week or not. Transportation costs were definitely higher than usual, since I had to deal with some car issues, which continue happening after writing this! Urgh. But having it all written out like this is helping me realize that I am doing fine financially, and while there is always room for improvement, I can be less hard on myself moving forward.”