On The Final Day Of Yeezy, Crib Kanye's New Year's Resolution

Photo: REX USA/Joseph Kerlakian/Rex.
In 2014, Kanye West went from rapper to adjective. He's been A-list for quite some time, but this year we saw a sharp transition in the way people talk about him. Comments went from "Look what Kanye said" to "How Kanye is that?" Now, Kanye is a lifestyle. He's the tortured artist to a point of self-parody. He is larger than life. And, we can't get enough of it.
Mr. West is rumored to be dropping an album soon, but as 2014 draws to a close we still don't have an official release date. So, we're taking this month to examine the past year of Yeezy with the 31 Days Of Kanye — everything from his most ridiculous beefs to his over-the-top wedding. Think of it as an advent calendar dedicated to one half of the #worldsmosttalkedaboutcouple. (Don't worry, there will be plenty of Kim sprinkled throughout, too.)
True, there's no promise that he'll even give us a record at all. But, if nothing else, at least you'll have enjoyed a solid four weeks of unfiltered Kanye.
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Photo: REX USA/Joseph Kerlakian/Rex.
December 31: Your New Year's Resolution, Courtesy Of Kanye
It's the last day of 2014. And, it looks like we're not getting that new Kanye album.

Time to move on with our lives, we suppose. You could start thinking about how you're going to be newer, better, and different in 2015. Stop bringing your iPhone to the dinner table. Work out more. Eat fewer processed foods (except S'mores Pop Tarts, because they're just too fucking delicious).

Or, you can scratch all that and use this handy New Yeezy Resolution Generator.

Dan Brill — the man responsible for such gems as Emojianalysis and the Holiday Movie Hangover Guide — created this gem for 2014. But, as you'll no doubt agree, we think it's pretty timeless. Simply click for a profound new Yeezy resolution, all based on Mr. West's actual vocal musings. Like, "In 2015, I will get my money up to Diddy level."

Hats off to the New Year, featuring the same old Yeezy we know and just can't quit.
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Photo: REX USA/Erik Pendzich.
December 30​: Sing Us A Song, Kanye’s The Piano Man
Kanye West doesn’t read books. ​In fact, ​​h​e’s a “proud non-reader of books​.​” But he does watch movies. At least, we can confirm he’s seen Step Brothers. So, here’s hoping he’s seen Big, because he’s apparently set to reenact the iconic piano scene from the Tom Hanks film.

The Daily Beast reports that a hacked Sony email from August 7, 2014 reads: “We’ll have an XMAS tease for 2015. We have a specific idea to attach to THE INTERVIEW that will crush. Seth, Joe, and [Anthony] Mackie reenacting the scene from BIG on the floor piano at FAO Schwartz with KANYE WEST. It’s fucking awesome.”
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December 29: Kanye's GQ's Most Stylish Man
“I want to stop using the term 'fashion' because Eve made Adam bite an apple, and since then, it's been illegal to be naked.”

That is an actual ​statement made by Kanye West.

Despite his distaste for the F word and his tendency to wear a sweatshirt every day, West just earned the title of GQ’s Most Stylish Man of 2014.

The men’s magazine hosted a bracket of stylish men. Readers voted. The final matchup was Yeezy vs. Idris Elba. West emerged victorious.

GQ style writer Jake Woolf says West was a bit of an underdog. "We used a photo of him that we felt best summed up his year in style, and it just so happens that he dressed quite casually on a day-to-basis in 2014," Woolf ​said in an email. This confused some of the magazine's Facebook fans who "didn't quite understand how a guy in jeans and a sweatshirt could be a #1 seed amongst a sea of men in tuxedos and finely-tailored suits," wrote Woolf.

But, as West so often reminds us, his influence is undeniable — and that extends to his style. "Not a lot of other people have the ability to get young men to buy something simply by wearing it a couple of times," Woolf said. "We've talked to brands who've had Kanye get snapped wearing their pieces, and they all say the same thing — that product instantly becomes the 'Kanye bracelets' or 'Kanye boots' or 'Kanye sweatpants.'"

Woolf said what it really comes down to is how loyal and passionate West's fans are. "There are some very loud Yeezy naysayers out there...it just turns out that his supporters were even louder this week."
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Photo: Courtesy of Ali Graham.
December 28: Kanye Would’ve Made A Great Cartoon Strip
Think back to your childhood when you’d read the Sunday cartoons in your parents’ newspaper. Garfield, Cathy, Ziggy, fucking Marmaduke — the gang was all there. But, wouldn’t your comic experience have been amplified if they removed the jumble which was pretty much just a word spelled backwards with Lil’ Ye and the Hip Hop Hoorays? The answer is yes, yes it would.

Artist Ali Graham created a series of illustrations based on Ye’s song lyrics. Plus, she threw in a few extras, like Nicki Minaj and Jay Z. (You can purchase prints of them, too.)

Can you imagine the adventures of these little guys? The mind reels.
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Photo: Kevin Mazur/Child2014/Getty Images.
December 27: The Mixing Board Is Kanye’s Soap Box

Pusha T already filled us in on the tough-love practices of producing music with Kanye. ​But w​hen Madonna brought​ him in to work on her new record, she experienced a different side of Yeezy — one of jubilance, one without restraint.

In an interview with Rolling Stone earlier this month, Madge talked about Kanye’s reaction when she played one of her unproduced songs for him. “He loved the melody, and he was actually jumping up and down on the soundboard,” Madonna told the music mag. Surely she’s exaggerating, no?

Not a chance. “He literally stood on top of the mixing board — we were worried he was going to hit his head on the ceiling, but he didn't. He ended up being very excited about that track, and then he added his spin to it, musically, and I love it.”

How did Kanye become the final say on so many artists’ albums? “To me, he elevated the lyrics with the music,” said Madonna. “It's like a siren, alerting people.”
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Photo: Courtesy of Phoenix Trinidad.
December 26: Kanye’s All Up In The Kitchen
It’s fun to imagine the world’s most beautiful men as feminists. (Hi, Ryan Gosling.) There’s something inherently attractive about a guy who’s all about lady rights. So, you can imagine my delight when I came across these illustrations of Kanye blurring gender lines. He's home vacuuming while you're out making that money. He’s all up in the kitchen, tackling grease off that pan. “It’s okay if you didn’t soak that lasagna pan, girl. I got you.” Just something to think about.
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Photo: Courtesy of Instagram.
December 25: Kanye’s Love Quote Is Everything
Between name-dropping designers and spending ridiculous amounts of cash on gifts, it’s easy to look at Kanye and judge him as materialistic. Yes, he ate breakfast at Gucci, but he’s also totally aware of what’s really important in life. In January, Steve McQueen asked ​'Ye a question that seems especially poignant to consider on Christmas Day. “What does love mean to you right now at this moment in time?” he asked West.

“Love …,” Yeezy began. “Well, if someone has got all the money in the world, they'd still want love.”
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Photo: Courtesy of Instagram.
December 24: North’s Presents Won’t Fit Under A Tree
Here’s the thing about “inside sources” — they're often unreliable. But, all it takes is for one person reasonably close to Kanye and Kim to make a claim to any media outlet who will listen, and all of a sudden it’s a news item. Take, for example, the December 18 report from the Daily Mail. It regurgitates the musings of an “inside source,” who reportedly told Heat magazine that Kanye dropped a solid $74K on North West’s Christmas gifts.

What exactly did Yeezy buy that added up to so much? It’s certainly not a shopping spree at the loca l Gymboree. Try a $62,000 diamond-encrusted tiara and a $12,000 toy replica of his SUV.

If these reports are true, both gifts are pretty solid. Besides, t hat kid’s so cute I’d give her anything she wanted.
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Photo: Courtesy of Etsy.
December 23: Kreezus Is The Christmas Album We’ve Been Waiting For
I’m going to tell you something that is entirely real, though it will initially feel like a joke ​ —​ or perhaps a mirage induced by too many sugar cookies. There is now a Kanye ​West ​Christmas album​...​and it is glorious.

Sketch group Local Business Comedy recreated the entire Yeezus album, but with holiday-appropriate lyrics. It’s called Kreezus, available for your listening pleasure on Soundcloud.

LBC told me the whole project kind of came up by accident. “We love Kanye and thought it'd be funny if he woke up one day and was like, ‘I am Santa Claus,’” Stephen of LBC told me. “Then weeks and weeks of writing and recording and mixing later, we had this album and it's still cracking us up. We're just glad other people like it.”

The lyrics aren’t especially funny in any other context — but that’s alright. This isn’t a stand-up comedy routine. Rather, the group’s created a clever way of reimagining the lyrics to Kanye’s songs so that it’s totally believable these could be actual Yeezy tunes.

It’s not the album we were hoping for — but in some ways, it’s even better.
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Photo: REX USA/Charles Sykes.
December 22: Seriously Though, What Is Kanye Saying?
Yogi Berra is one of the greatest catchers in baseball history. ​S​ome ​might​ say​, though,​ ​that ​he’s just as famous for his signature way of speaking to reporters. Berra’s responsible for such confusing phrases as, “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.” He addressed this particular speech habit in a 1998 book, in which he claims, “I really didn't say everything I said.” It’s head-scratching​ —​ yet endearing. You get the idea.

Kanye adopted a similar tone in a January interview with Steve McQueen. McQueen asked Kanye how important it is to him that he remain current. West said he rarely discusses current affairs ​ — ​because he’s part of the current.

“I feel like it's just a current itself, a wave that I'm surfing. There is no sport without the wave, so I have to wait for it. If the waves are high, then we're gonna have a fun day. If the waves are low, then you just stay on the beach.”

I like it. I have no idea what he’s saying, but I like it.
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Photo: Johnny Nunez/Getty Images.
December 21: Kanye Has No Time For Your Creative License
In an interview with Forbes, Pusha T shared what it was like working with Kanye on his new album. “He makes a whole new song with your vocals after you are done,” ​Pusha​ told Forbes. “After you are married to it and love it, he takes your song and does a whole 360 with the beat then gives it back to you and tells you that’s your record, bud.” Pusha says that’s just a part of the process ​of working with 'Ye ​he’s come to accept. “Bye bye song, bye bye what I fell in love with. Because it ain’t coming back the same​."​

William Faulkner once said that​ ​when it comes to writing, you kill your darlings — unless you're Pusha T. Then Kanye kills your darlings.
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Photo: REX USA/Charles Sykes.
December 20: Kanye Should Just Get His Own Plane Already
I’m always surprised when I see celebrities taking traditional transit like the rest of us. What do you mean Mindy Kaling’s on the ​train? Does she not journey by magical cloud that contains only her and maybe some light travel snacks? Instead, she’s riding the rails where anyone could just talk to her. It consistently blows my mind.

That’s why it’s so surprising that in November, Kanye not only took a commercial flight from Paris to Helsinki, but he reportedly delayed the Finnair flight. This report is no doubt exaggerated and comes straight from Page Six. A source told the gossip page, “The whole flight was waiting on one of those buses that ferries passengers from the gate to the plane. Kanye and his assistant boarded in a huff.” The source continues to say that though the assistant “sprinted to the bus ​,​” Kanye maintained his casual swagger, trailing behind said assistant​ ​with zero sense of urgency. “They did not apologize for keeping everyone,” the source told Page Six.

Then someone posted this picture of Yeezy snoozing on the flight. He is seemingly untroubled by his transgression.

I’m actually really glad Finnair waited for him, because he’s already shown how much he fucking hates hanging out in Paris. I’d hate to see him there any longer than necessary.

It remains unclear to me why Kanye doesn’t just have a private jet.
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12/19 Photo: REX USA.
December 19: Kanye’s Family Are Astronauts
You’ve got your own special way to describe your family. You tell people they’re “crazy​...but in a good way.” This helps your friends put all your quirks into context. Like your tendency to throw away Tupperware after one use​ — ​which suddenly makes so much more sense once your buds learn ​that ​your family is “wary of chemicals.”

Kanye goes with a more abstract analogy​, though. He refers to his next of kin as his “astronaut family.” In an interview with Steve McQueen back​ in January, ​Y​​e explained this in greater detail. “You know, becoming famous is like being catapulted into space — sometimes without a space suit. We've seen so many people combust, suffocate, get lost in all these different things,” he told McQueen. “But to have an anchor of other astronauts and to make a little space family…” ​

I think we've heard enough. ​
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Photo: Kevin Mazur/Child2014/Getty Images.
December 18: Kanye Exercises His Selfie Muscles
Kanye doesn’t strike me as the type to get star-struck. Like Matthew McConaughey, he is his own hero. The only person he follows on Twitter is his wife Kim. You get the picture.

Yet when it came to an encounter with Madonna, Yeezy couldn’t help himself. Look at him being not a god and totally human, snapping a selfie with Madge. It’s literally a page out of the Kardashian book.
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Photo: Via Instagram.
December 17: O ​ ​Yeezus Tree, Thy Leaves Are So Unchanging
When it comes to decorating ​a Christmas tree, you’re either a star family or an angel family. Mine was an angel family until about 1997, when the angel’s porcelain arms shattered in the middle of a move. Also, we all realized how creepy she was beginning to look. Though my family then transitioned ​to a star topper, I’m officially launching a campaign to make us a Kanye family. Yes, the elusive third tree-topping option: the Yeezy.

Team Kanye Daily rounded up some Instagrams of households all over the country who have replaced their traditional stars and angels with that of Mr. West.

He looks great on top of a tree. No one can take that away from him.
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Photo: REX USA/Richard Young/Rex.
December 16: We May Soon See A Kim Statue
When it comes to romantic gestures, Kanye’s more a of a “go big or go home” type of guy. (We’re looking at you, wall of roses.) ​I​t’s not totally shocking​ then​ that Yeezy’s reportedly planning on commissioning a life-size​d​ statue of one Kim Kardashian. According to Elle UK, the plans for said statue will appear in an upcoming episode of Keeping Up ​w​ith ​t​he Kardashians. “That's my inspiration, to see Kim captured for all time,” West reportedly says in the episode.

The statue is allegedly modeled after Grace Jones’ now-iconic pose for her Island Life album. As you can probably guess, she’s naked.
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Photo: REX USA/Stewart Cook.
December 15: Kanye & Kim Enter Into A Dinosaur Marriage
Sometimes it’s more enjoyable to quote a movie than it is to watch it. For example, Step Brothers. It’s not exactly a cinematic achievement, but you know you like to email this .GIF to anyone who does something nice for you.

Kanye West, however, ​chose a different, less appreciated line from the film on which to model his life — namely, his love life. In August, he was trying to explain to GQ just why he got married to Kim Kardashian. “Like they said in Step Brothers: Never lose your dinosaur,” he told the magazine. “This is the ultimate example of a person never losing his dinosaur. Meaning that even as I grew in cultural awareness and respect and was put higher in the class system in some way for being this musician, I never lost my dinosaur.”

He didn’t stop there.

Kanye’s in awe of how lucky he is to have landed a lady like Kardashian. “You mean to tell me that this girl with this fucking body and this face is also into style, and she's a nice person, and she has her own money and is family-oriented? That's just as cool as a fucking fighter jet or dinosaur!”

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m deleting every guy from my phone who has never told me I’m cooler than or as cool as a fucking fighter jet or dinosaur.
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Photo: REX USA.
December 14: Kanye’s Wedding Toast Is Longer Than Most Sitcom Episodes
There were a solid handful of ridiculous rumors about the Kimye wedding​ — m​y favorite is the rumor of a gold toilet. One of the more outlandish ones was that Kanye gave a 45-minute toast to himself. In his GQ interview, the reporter brought up this whispering.

It’s important to note that Kanye didn’t deny the 45-minute time frame of his speech. Instead, he attempted to explain just why it took him so long to get his thoughts out to the crowd. “What I talked about in it was the idea of celebrity, and celebrities being treated like blacks were in the '60s, having no rights, and the fact that people can slander your name,” he told GQ. ​"​I had to say this in a position where I, from the art world, am marrying Kim. And how we're going to fight to raise the respect level for celebrities so that my daughter can live a more normal life. She didn't choose to be a celebrity. But she is. So I'm going to fight to make sure she has a better life.”

Maybe he did spend a solid 45 minutes talking about the ethics of celebrity life and civil rights. And​,​ if it was anything like this GQ interview, it was probably a fascinating, surprisingly entertaining performance.
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December 13: It’s North’s World — Kanye Just Lives In It
In March, Kimye finally landed their Vogue cover — a “dream come true,” the​ couple​ said. As glamorous as the magazine feature was, the behind-the-scenes action was not so much. Just as Annie Leibovitz began photographing the ​family​, North peed right on her daddy. “He was trying to tell me, and I couldn’t really hear him,” Kim told Seth Meyers. “I had to get up and get her, clean her off, clean him off. It’s a good memory.”

And, thanks to their living in the public eye, it’s now our good memory, too.
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Photo: REX USA/Erik Pendzich.
December 12: Someone Get Kanye Out Of The Woods
I'll be the first to admit that I’m not very outdoorsy. Hiking? I’ll pass. Camping? I’m not about to pee in the woods. Also, bears. So, I’ve got a lot of sympathy for Kanye, who just doesn’t want to go ziplining. It’s the last thing he wants to do. A photographer discovered a picture of Kanye looking especially disheartened at his forced outdoor activity. Once the Internet got a hold of it, Sad Ziplining Kanye was made into a meme. It kind of makes you not care about the circumstances under which Yeezy found himself gliding through the woods in the first place​,​ and you can enjoy a compilation of them here.
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Photo: REX USA/Richard Young/Rex.
December 11: Love Is All In The Boop
The boop is an intimate art form. It can be a simple dab of a finger on someone’s nose. If you​'re Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney, the boop is more of an endearing butt grab. It’s a public action that’s got a private meaning for the couple involved. For Kanye and Kim, the boop is a shoulder kiss — like the one pictured here. No matter how you feel about them, it’s hard to deny the two are stupid in love. The Yeezy shoulder kiss is their boop — and it’s a sneak peek into the vulnerable side of Mr. West himself.
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Photo: REX USA/Richard Young/Rex.
December 10: Kanye Lent His Rappers’ Ear
Kanye’s got a reputation for being something of a grump (see: nearly every picture of him.) While he’s not exactly known for flashing those pearly whites very often, earlier this year Yeezy proved he has a soft side — dare I say a nurturing side. One evening in May, an aspiring rapper approached Kanye and Kim on the streets of Soho. As he walked alongside the #worldsmosttalkedaboutcouple, the man explained that he’s been working really hard to develop his sound.

Kanye could’ve blown off this guy. He could’ve had his 37 security guards promptly remove him from his 20-foot radius. It's New York; no one would've batted an eye at such entitled celebrity behavior. Instead, Ye asked him to give him a sample of his verses. As the man rapped, Kanye stopped and listened to him — and actually appeared to be totally supportive and interested. He told him it sounded good, gave him a handshake, and then probably did a series of dives through piles of gold coins à la Duck Tales.
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Photo: Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images.
December 9: Limo Vans Have The Same Creepy Subtext As Regular Vans
Thanks to teach-to-the-test practices, elementary education can differ slightly from state to state. Nothing huge — just some small stuff. The major, important lessons for kids are still universally taught. Times tables. The alphabet. Shouting “stranger danger!” when some guy you don’t really know approaches you with the promise of something special for you in his van.

This last situation is the very circumstance Seth Rogen found himself in earlier this year. After he and James Franco spoofed Kanye’s “Bound 2” video, Rogen ran into Kanye at ​a ​ New York City hotel. In a new interview with Rolling Stone, the actor claims the rapper cornered him in the hotel and asked him to come to his limo van for a private listening session of his new album. (Yes, that album we’re expecting any day now.) And, even though every bone in his body must have been screaming “Don’t get into vans with strangers,” Rogen accepted.

"So he raps the whole album, and after each song, he stops it, like, 'So what do you think?'” Rogen told Rolling Stone.. “We were in the van for two hours!" The best part of this entire story? There were​ no lyrics — only beats.

That is so fucking Kanye.
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Photo: Neil P. Mockford/Getty Images.
December 8: Hush — North West Is Sleeping
What child is this who, laid to rest on Kanye's lap, is sleeping? It's North West​ — ​ and waking her is to risk certain death.

It isn’t lost on Kanye that his daughter​ i​s going to live her life in the public eye. But, he was trying to put this off for as long as possible. That meant a lot of strolls with a black cloak over North’s baby carriage, as to shield her from the unwavering flashes of paparazzi.​ In​ May, Kanye, Kim, and North were in Paris for some pre-wedding festivities. Baby West had on her invisibility cloak so no one could see what she was doing. But, it turns out the little one was snoozing. Swarmed by paparazzi and screaming fans, Mr. West had but one concern as he and his family made their way through the crowd to a car in waiting. He raised a finger to his mouth to hush the crowd. Don’t get it twisted: The gesture — and the photo of that gesture — is very sweet. But the unofficial caption of this pic is, “If you wake my daughter, I will end you.”
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December 7: Kanye Can’t Stop Photographing A Boob Statue
In an interview with The New York Times, artist Takashi Murakami discussed how he’s worked with Kanye in the past. When a reporter asked him how his relationship with the rapper came to be, Murakami explained that Kanye’s record label contacted him, saying that Yeezy liked one of his sculptures — “a woman with huge breasts.” Kanye wanted to come see it, and Murakami happened to have it in his studio. So, he told the rapper to come on by.

Then, something incredible happened.

“Kanye came to the studio and stared at the sculpture, completely without words, just silently looking at it,” Murakami told The New York Times. “I think he was moved by it, because he took hundreds of pictures with his digital camera.”
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December 6: You’ve Never Seen A Boy So Sad As Kanye With An Ice Cream Cone
When I’m on vacation, I like to hit up local, independent spots for lunch, dinner, and snacks. (If breakfast isn’t complimentary with my hotel stay, what is that even?) There’s no point in going to a Pizza Hut in London when you can experience an overly vinegared fish ‘n chips wrapped in newspaper. Okay — maybe London cuisine is a bad example, but this philosophy should certainly apply to places that have good food, like Paris, and Midtown (I’m looking at you, arepas lady and halal guys).

It’s unclear why Kanye and Kim hit up a Häagen-Dazs in the city of baguettes, wine, and cheese. Yet, here they are. And, even Yeezy isn't cheered up or comforted by a cone of the Dazs. Next time, I’d like to humbly recommend he try one of those Nutella crepes with sliced bananas inside. They're delicious.
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Photo: Via Instagram.
December 5: It Doesn’t Really Matter Who Made This Photo
Kim Kardashian's avatar made TIME’s list of the most influential fictional characters of 2014. So, it’s really no surprise that Kanye took her out on a date. She’s been working hard. She deserves it. Also, she’s a pretty good-looking video game character.

Kim posted this (probably) Photoshopped picture to her Instagram account on November 29. If she created the image herself, it’s likely the direct result of a turkey tryptophan daze. If a fan created it, bravo. Kim captioned it, “LOL,” so it’s aces either way.

What’s nice is that — even though his date is totally fictional — Kanye is still a total gentleman. Look at him holding doors for her like she’s a human. He’s even offered us a glimmer of his smile, which he only displays on special occasions.

Plus, he’s not wearing that chain-mail face mask, so think of all the direct eye contact they clocked that day.
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December 4: The Animals Kanye Is And Is Not
Everyone’s got their spirit animal — a Patronus if you will. And​,​ people are always choosing entities for their spirit animal that couldn’t possibly qualify as such —​ like Michelle Obama’s bangs or a rabbit on wheels. The whole point of a spirit animal, I suppose, is that it’s not something tangible or of this world, but a figure that represents you and what your life is about.

Kanye takes the idea of a spirit animal a little more literally. In an August interview with GQ, a reporter asked him if being mocked feels like an effort to “de-fang” him. The rapper took this opportunity to discuss the animals he is and isn’t. “There’s no fangs,” he told the magazine. “I don’t have fangs. I’m a porcupine. I’m a blowfish. Like, I’m a — what’s the fish that blows up? I’m not a shark. I’m a blowfish.”

To recap: Less shark +​ more porcupine​ = 100% blowfish.

It’s important to remember GQ didn’t ask him about animals. This was an organic, voluntary contribution to the conversation.
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Photo: REX USA/McPix Ltd/Rex.
December 3: The Priceless Concert That Definitely Has A Price
On Tuesday, Rihanna tweeted a link ​about​ ​her Diamond Ball charity auction. In doing so, she unintentionally released information that Kanye would be touring North America in 2015. As part of the auction, ​bidders can try to score an exclusive Kanye West Tour Experience. Basically, the highest bidder gets a bunch of free stuff like autographed posters, a pair of Yeezys, and likely a tax write-off. But, that’s not the real news here. The fact is that Kanye out-Kanyed himself with this one. No one can ever truly win this illustrious lot, because its estimated value is “priceless.”

To give you an idea of how very Kanye (and costly) this is, the Chopard diamond earrings lot in this auction is estimated at $48,350.

Take the price of a front-row ticket and multiply it by two. ​Throw​ in the price of some overpriced tour shit​ — plus some sneakers. Expensive? Of course. Priceless? Quite literally, no.
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December 2: The Scrooge Incident
In the Charles Dickens novella, A Christmas Carol, Ebenezer Scrooge is just the grumpiest man in town. His "Bah humbug!" disposition is woof. He's like the Ross Geller of his friend group — except he has no friends. People and ghosts alike are sick of his shit. So, he gets a visit from the great beyond. The ghosts warn him that if he doesn't get his act together, he'll probably die alone. Isn't that very sad? Feeling grateful for this rude awakening, Scrooge hooks up Tiny Tim and the rest of the Cratchit family with a huge goose and develops a sudden zest for life. Carpe diem, etc.

As it turns out, Scrooge wasn't such a bad guy after all. He just suffered from bitchy resting face — and also greed. Mr. West isn't so different from our pal Scrooge. Sure, an entire Tumblr exists in dedication to Sad Kanye, speaking to his tendency to be photographed with a constant scowl. But, consider the bachelorette party incident in October.

This is his very own Ebenezer moment. A bachelorette party in New Orleans asked their waiter if they could send over a bottle of wine to Kanye, who was dining nearby. Overcome by their generosity, West instead sent them a bottle of C hampagne. Then he offered to take a picture with the group, who just couldn't even with how not-a-downer Kanye turned out to be. Just look at him laughing in these pictures obtained by E! News. Ye 's overcome with generosity and that very zest for life that we see in Dickens' classic tale.
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December 1: Under What Conditions Did Kanye Need A Kab?
Sometimes I like to think about the apps celebrities use — aside from Instagram and Twitter. Does Taylor Swift Venmo Karlie Kloss her half of the rent? Does Chrissy Teigen use Seamless? (Yes.) And, does Kanye use Uber with the reckless abandon I imagine he might? The answer is no. Just look at him. This picture, taken October 30 in NYC, is at once confusing and inspirational to me. What's he doing hailing a cab? Where is he going? What are the events that led up to this moment? I have so many questions. Yet, there's something about it that makes me want to frame it and put it on my desk. At face value, it's just Yeezy and his little normcore outfit getting in a cab. But, I think if I happened to be the person walking by him in this moment and I said, "Hey Kanye, whatcha doin'?" He'd look at me quite seriously and say, "I wake up every day trying to give something back to you that you can rock to and be proud of" before getting in that yellow car and riding off into the Manhattan sunset.
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