How To Use Lube If You're A Neat Freak

Photographed by Megan Madden.
Lube is great! And it's also very messy. It's meant to make sex a little wetter and wilder, so it's only natural that it'd ultimately get all up on your stuff and all over your body — it's a slippery slope.
If you're wary about getting lubed up on your (or your partner's) precious 300 thread-count sheets and Mongolian fur pillow, we get it (and you're very courteous). But nice bed linens aside, mess shouldn't be a reason to be afraid of lubing up. There are so many different types of lubes out there, and some are neater than others. Plus, there are plenty of techniques for application and post-sex clean up that won't make you look like you just had an oil spill in your bed.
Bottom line: Just because you want to have dirty sex doesn't mean it has to be messy. These tips from Michelle Hope, a sexologist in New York City, will help even the neatest freaks can get freaky with lube.
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Try something water-based.

Silicone-based lubes are sticky and thick, and generally water-resistant, which is great for shower sex, but also means they're tougher to get out of fabric, Hope says. Even though water-based lubes may dry out faster, they're usually thinner and come out of fabric easily with water.
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Prep your genitals beforehand.

Before you have sex, try putting a little bit of lube inside your vagina or anus, Hope says. You won't have to slap it on your hands or worry about trying to aim it on your partner's genitals once you're in bed.
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Consider a lube shooter.

There are products called lube shooters that basically look like a syringe or tampon applicator. They let you insert lube inside a vagina or anus without really having to use your hands to get it all up in there.
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Be economical.

"A little lube goes a long way, and using too much is usually why people think lube is messy," Hope says. Start with a drop or two, and that's probably all you'll need — but if not, you can always add more.
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Go au naturale.

"You can make your own water-based lube — it's called saliva," Hope says. Spit can only do so much (while it isn't as slippery, it's definitely less messy), but it could be a gateway tool to convince you that lube is great.
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Put some lube in the condom.

For people having penetrative sex with penises, you can try putting a few drops of lube inside of a condom to enhance the pleasure for the person with a penis, Hope says. Just make sure the water-based lube you're using won't deteriorate the type of condom you're using (latex condoms are generally fine to use with water-based lube).
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Don't just throw your sheets in the dryer.

If you're trying to get a lube stain out of fabric, check to make sure the stain is out before you put your sheets in the dryer. The heat from your dryer will set the stain in the fabric, so it has to be totally out beforehand.
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Use dish soap.

Lube stains are basically like grease stains, so if some ends up on the carpet, you can try using a dish soap that cuts through grease to remove the stain.

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