Anal sex is low-key very high maintenance. In theory, all you have to do is put a penis or object into someone's anus — but that doesn't always go smoothly, literally and figuratively. Foreplay is extra important, if not mandatory, when you're having anal sex, because you have to get the anus ready for penetration. "Preparing the anus" sounds like a vibe-killer, but there are ways to make anal foreplay hot, so the rest of the experience is more relaxed and enjoyable, too.
One non-negotiable anal sex foreplay step? Talking about your boundaries before, during, and after, says Kristen Lilla, LCSW, certified sex therapist. "Revisit the conversation after you engage in anal play, because you might discover something you like and change your boundaries or create new ones." How much butt stuff you and your partner are comfortable with is totally personal, but once you feel like you're both on the same page, then you can experiment.