While I was growing up, selfishness wasn’t a trait to aspire to, it was something to be avoided. But everything changed for me at the end of my senior year of college. I felt pretty disappointed, and not just because I had my graduation over Zoom
. I expected to feel so in charge of my life by then, ready to take on the world, but that’s not really how I felt at all. I was in the corporate world
for the very first time, and because of that I knew I needed to fight for myself to get ahead, but I also didn’t want to appear too cutthroat, self-serving, or — worst of all — mean. I also struggled with the same things in my love life, confused about how much I truly deserved and what I should put up with in order to receive love from someone, without seeming “too picky” or “unrealistic.” It seemed like one of the worst things I could be labeled as was “self-centered,” and as a Black woman, this was something that had been instilled in me at a very young age.