Mercury retrograde has a reputation for messing with our communication skills — something that's super important in our relationships and our sex lives. And while the transit may feel all doom and gloom, especially in the year of 2020, there is a way to take advantage of its backwards dance and turn it into something hot, sexy, and actually beneficial in the bedroom.
Astrologer Lisa Stardust says that Mercury retrograde is a great time to experiment, especially when the planet of communication is retrograde in Scorpio, which it will be from October 13 to the 27. "Mercury in Scorpio is known to enjoy kinks, let their freak flag fly, be open to new positions, and want to try new ones," Stardust explains. "If there’s a position that you always wanted to try, then go for it! Embrace your fetishes and don’t be shy about speaking up." Literally, speak up — your partner may want you to use some dirty talk, Stardust adds. Just be patient, since Mercury retrograde really does mess with our communication skills.
This particular retrograde involves the two most sexual signs of the zodiac: Scorpio and Taurus, says Narayana Montúfar, senior astrologer for Astrology.com. "The bedroom can actually be the best place to hide during this retro-nightmare!" she says. "Highly sexual and tactical, Scorpio plans its moves, slowly drawing its victim in. So when stress shows up at your door, close your laptop, forget about work, and focus on charming the heck out of your partner." Sex is a great way to get our mind off of what's going on in the world and de-stress (especially if you're experiencing Election Stress Disorder) even if it's just for a little while.
Montúfar also points out that Uranus in Taurus is one of the protagonists of this transit, which means that getting out of our comfort zones when it comes to sex will certainly help us deal with the stress. "Ruled by Venus, Taurus is sensuality personified, so regardless of our sign, we can channel our inner Taurean and take a chill pill instead of freaking out about what’s not going our way," she explains. This means trying new positions, toys, and other bedroom antics that we normally wouldn’t get up to. During Mercury retrograde, these experiments can end up being a lot of fun, rather than awkward or embarrassing.
Stefanie Caponi, Dame’s astrologer in residence, agrees — it's time to break out of our shells and try something new. Her idea? Blindfolds. "Make sex a sensory experience and focus on touch, ask your lover to relax into the mystery of feeling rather than visuals," she says. "Take turns tying one another up. Restricting movement and negotiating control is a new way of creating trust and establishing boundaries with one another." This could also be a time to switch up your self-love routine, by tapping into your creativity. "Try writing yourself an erotic love note or listening to a sexy podcast," Caponi says. "You may discover something about yourself you previously overlooked."
And try not to take things personally during Mercury retrograde. "Communication is key for great sex, both verbal and non-verbally, but if something comes up that ruins the moment try to see it as an opportunity to slow down and work through any communication errors and move forward," Caponi says.
There is complication to be aware of during this particular Mercury retrograde, though. Mars is currently retrograde in Aries. "Mars rules sex," Leslie Hale, psychic astrologer at Keen.com, tells Refinery29.com. "This can unleash emotional sensations of passion, desire, or even rage. The buildup could suddenly crash upon impact and the expectation may exceed the results." In other words, yes, the Mars and Mercury retrogrades combined could lead to wild sex — as long as you temper your expectations, or else you run the risk of having your outsized anticipation spoil the reality.
In all, Mercury retrograde is a pretty good time to get it on, whether it's with a partner or yourself. And of course, safe sex is great sex, especially during a global pandemic. Read up on our COVID-19 sex guidelines and make sure you're doing your best to stay safe during this time. Mercury may be heading backwards, but we don't have to.