To open Tuesday’s show, Chris Harrison said, “Tonight on Bachelor in Paradise, it’s all about love.” And it’s about time, because it’s the second to last episode. Really, there should be more about the actual, successful relationships the entire time. While we’re watching Jordan Kimball and Christian Someone fight over a piñata, couples are figuring out whether they should get engaged after knowing each other for a very short time — that’s interesting!
And on Tuesday night’s episode, that’s what we got. The show opens with a focus on Kristian Haggerty and Demi Burnett, who are both still super stressed following Monday night’s conversation about physical affection and Demi being worried about being out as a queer woman. Kristian explains to Demi that she’s anxious because none of her other relationships have worked out. Meanwhile, Demi is worried Kristian will give up on her. It’s tense, and adding to their stress is the fact that people like Haley Ferguson are just casually asking if they’re going to get engaged. They don’t know, Haley! Their relationship is too real for questions related to the structure of this reality TV show!
Next, we focus on Hannah Godwin and Dylan Barbour who get a date that sends them to a random child’s backyard birthday party. Where do they find people who are willing to let a reality TV couple join a family event so that one of them can say, “Dylan’s really good around kids.” After eating some delicious looking food from these very generous people, Dylan and Hannah tell each other “I love you.” Y’all, they’re probably going to get engaged. What a journey.
The following segment goes to Connor Saeli, who is no longer sad that Caelynn Miller-Keyes is gone, but sad that Whitney Fransway (from Nick Viall’s season), who he hit it off with at Krystal Nielson and Chris Randone’s wedding, has not joined Paradise. Meanwhile, we get clips of Whitney, on her way to Paradise and ready to hang out with Connor. This entire portion of the show begs questions about the logistics of BiP in a way we haven’t seen before. If Connor and Whitney met at the wedding, wouldn’t he know for sure that she would be on the show? Are the contestants still technically unconfirmed for the series even if they’re flown down to Mexico? Connor decides to leave Paradise, and his car passes Whitney’s on the road. What the heck were the producers telling them?
When Whitney gets to the beach, everyone is like, “Oh snap. Connor, like, just left.” So, Whitney decides to go find him at his hotel. This is presumably where contestants stay before their flight home, but when she shows up, she says, “Your room is so big.” His own room? How long does he stay there? What is happening? Well, the answer to that last one is that Whitney and Connor are kissing on the balcony of his huge hotel room. The show moves on from them after this, never to return again. We need more information!
Well, guess it’s time for Nicole Lopez-Alvar and Clay Harbor, who get a date card. She’s in love with him, but hasn’t told him yet and is worried about how he feels. On the date, Nicole says, “Do you think you’re falling in love?” Clay responds with some spiel about how she’s his “best friend on the beach.” In the end, he adds, “I do think I’m starting to fall in love with you. I just can’t say right now ‘in love.’” This makes Nicole nervous, so naturally they slow dance to a Spanish song that has lyrics including, “I want to be with you at this time” and “We can get to a less anxious place.” I hope the singer got a kick out of all of this.
Moving on, Tayshia Adams wants to draw John Paul Jones like one of her French girls. Yep, while other people are wondering if they can spend their lives together, she requests that he dress in only a Speedo (he chooses one meant to look like Levi’s jeans) and a blue necklace reminiscent of the one in the famous Titanic scene, and she draws a picture of him. They also have a “king of the world” moment on a balcony (even though that’s not the part of the movie with with Rose and Jack, hello!). Tayshia and JPJ’s relationship can be viewed as either quirky and fun or totally unbearable. There is no in between.
Ahead of the rose ceremony, Chris Harrison cancels the cocktail party, and thank god because this thing needed to move the heck along. First, Luke Stone tries to give his rose to Bri Barnes and she turns it down. This is unprecedented. Chris asks if anyone else wants his rose, rather than asking if he would like to offer it to someone else (rude), and no one does, so he’s gone. The remaining roses go as follows: Matt Donald and Bri Barnes, Dylan and Hannah, JPJ and Tayshia, Clay and Nicole, Chris Bukowski and Katie Morton, Demi and Kristian, Chase McNary and Angela Amezcua. Sydney Lotuaco, Revian Chang, and Haley are sent home.
The next day, it’s time for the remaining “couples” to decide if they want to stay in Paradise, go to a fantasy suite, and potentially get engaged. Chase and Angela quickly decide to part ways. Bri ends things with Matt after saying she thinks he only likes her for her looks. (This is after he’s shown calling her a “supermodel” 20 times, and is also exactly what Sydney predicted as she was leaving.) Hannah and Dylan obviously decide to stay, as do Demi and Kristian, and Nicole and Clay. The couples that are more dramatic coming to their decisions are Chris/Katie and Tayshia/JPJ.
Chris and Katie have had issues throughout this episode, because Chris keeps second guessing himself. During their convo, he says, “I do this. I push people away that I like.” In one of the more realistic moments of the show, Katie tells him that she has no idea if she’ll be with him the rest of her life, either, but that she likes him now. They agree to give it a shot. (And, since we now can match up the trailers and know her hand is shown with an engagement ring, it looks like they’re getting engaged.)
Tayshia and John Paul Jones have the most dramatic conversation of all the couples. He professes his love and mentions looking forward to dancing at their wedding, and she strokes his hair, gives him a kiss, and says, “That’s a lot, huh?” Quote. Of. The. Night. Tayshia says that he “doesn’t know what he wants,” which matches up with her history of trying to put things on him rather than say how she feels. JPJ immediately shifts the conversation into a farewell. If someone says something that makes it seem like they're leaving, do the producers rush them off the beach? These breakups move so fast. Tayshia chases JPJ down the beach and says she’s sorry, but after he inexplicably picks her up and carries her about 30 feet toward the exit, they both leave, crying in separate vans.
The remaining couples going into the finale are Dylan and Hannah, Kristian and Demi, Clay and Nicole, and Katie and Chris. We’re almost there!
Who Will Make It Long Term: Katie and Chris. Yes, they have issues, but they also seem the most mature in knowing who they are as people.
Who Will Make It For A While: Kristian and Demi, Dylan and Hannah. Kristian and Demi are really sweet and really into each other, and I would be pleasantly surprised if they are in it for the long haul. Dylan and Hannah will be very cute on Instagram for about a year.
Who Won’t Make It To The Reunion: Nicole and Clay. The red flags are there!