Welcome to the safest, most contoured space on the Internet: A space where we can openly discuss, dissect, and indulge in the greatest show of our time, Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
The bulk of episode 2 of season 16 of KUWTK, "Kourtney's Choice," actually has little to do with Kourtney Kardashian. Instead, it has everything to do with one Kanye West. (Is this a trend for the season?) As we learned in the season premiere, Kanye is finally letting the E! producers into his life, and the rapper is making up for lost time. Yet again, the episode is all Chicago-related drama between him and Kim Kardashian, and yet again, Kim feels blindsided by her husband's behavior.
In addition to the unrest building in the Kardashian-West clan, Kourtney and Scott Disick have some beef to squash. Kourtney isn't interested in having Scott attend the annual family trip (this time to Bali), citing the previous year's trip when he brought a random woman to Costa Rica with his kids. Oh, and there's a surprising Nicki Minaj cameo. But despite all these ingredients for a good show, it's a fairly boring episode. The most intense moment is Kim complaining about how stressed she is, balancing Kanye's delicate emotions and while raising their three kids — all while wearing the tiniest items of clothing and pounds of hair extensions.
Here's everything that went in episode 2.
The crew is putting the finishing touches on their family trip to Bali. They're all excited to drink tea, ride elephants, and recharge after a hectic year. The only issue is that not everyone is invited — Scott's getting the cold shoulder from Kourtney, and for a good reason. On the last family trip, Scott showed up in Costa Rica with a random woman on his arm, throwing off the flow of the trip, not to mention embarrassing Kourt. She isn't interesting in having a repeat of that, so she's decided he is banned from family trips. But Kim really wants Scott to come, so she devises a plan.
Kim sets up a mini-family trip to NYC with Kourtney, Scott, and the kids, to see Kanye's SNL performance. (Yes, the one where Kanye wore a MAGA hat and then was cut off mid-rant during the credits.) She uses the allure of SNL to mend the Scott and Kourtney's severed relationship and it works. Kim's smug as hell over it, but the real credit goes to Scoot who proves that he's a changed man. In the end, after a successful weekend with the kids, Kourtney sees him in "full dad mode," and he gets her stamp of approval to accompany the family to their Bali oasis. Right when Scott's added, Kris drops out to stay in Calabasas to take care of her mom, MJ, who is sick. She, luckily, doesn't have cancer, but she isn't well and Kris feels to guilty to leave her.
As much as I like hearing about the inner-workings of Kim and Kanye's marriage, their antics can't sustain the hour-long episode. But, the producers are gonna try. The drama starts when Kim learns, on social media, that Kanye is moving his family to Chicago. During a talk at a college, Kanye tells an enthusiastic crowd that he is "moving back to Chicago" and "never leaving again.” She literally goes to Chicago to talk to him about it, where he jubilantly tells her that he isn't kidding. They're moving, he says. "It's the vibe, babe." Can't argue with that.... right?
Kanye insists that he mentioned the plan to Kim before, but she tells him that she did not think he was serious. "Any conversation I have it serious," Kanye replies, deadpan. If that isn't the most Kanye quote, ever.
While Kanye continues to insist that Chicago is the move (he even says that he wants them to own multiple houses around the city), Kim finally speaks her truth on the matter: It could be her breaking point. Kim admits she feels that she is being pulled in way too many directions after Kris tells her that she should be paying more attention to her husband. Scott sticks up for Kim, asking Kris if she even realizes how much Kim does for her family. Kris gets defensive and says that no one supports her daughter more than her. Side note: This is quite a nice alliance forming between Scott and Kim.
After discussing the possibility of moving to Chicago with Kanye multiple times, Kim finally gets through to him and the two flesh out an agreement: They'll remain in California, but will spend more time in Illinois as a family to let Kanye be "Ye." He loves being "Ye," and hearing his fellow Chicagoans scream his name in the streets. Kim points out that maybe he's just a little salty that in Cali, everyone is always screaming for her and not him. He, as deadpan as ever, agrees.
A fun tid-bit: Kanye calls Nicki Minaj to talk about adding her on his song, "New Body," a previously unconfirmed collaboration between the two artists. There's also a moment where Kanye FaceTimes Nicki and it's clear that Kim and Nicki are friends, just in case we needed some confirmation on the matter.
The most interesting part of the episode was the very D-level plot line around the kids and the word "famous." While in NYC, North asks Kim why everyone is always taking photos of them. Kim tells her, basically, that it's because their family is famous without saying that specific word ("Daddy is a singer.. performer... artiste. And Mommy has so many talents i can't even begin to name them.") Later, North and Penelope make a remark that they are "famous" while they're out shopping in NYC. Kim and Kourtney wonder where their daughters head that word (What? Where haven't they?) and make it clear that, as mothers, would never tell their kids that they are "famous." Is that a bad word in the family? Do they just prefer "successful" or "well-known"? It made me think about what it would really be like having Kim Kardashian and Kanye West as parents. It's insane to even imagine.
Our weekly round-up of the craziest one-liners from the episode (these are all out of context because it makes them funnier):
“Why have a mom if you can’t whore her out?” — Khloé
"At least you don't have handcuffs on" — Kris
"Daddy is a singer.. performer... artiste. And mommy has so many talents i can't even begin to name them." — Kim
"I'd like to thank my Lord and savior, and Kimberly , for fucking on camera." — Khloé
"Did he do a... rant at the end?" — Kris
"If you find your soul, text me." — Kris