It's always bittersweet to see what could have been. While the Oscars is flying solo this year without a host, the ceremony opened with three comedy goddesses who made us realize how great they would have been at the job. Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Maya Rudolph kicked off the awards by presenting Regina King with Best Supporting Actress, and they got in some incredible zingers first that we wish would last the entire night.
The women began their segment by acknowledging that they were not the hosts of the evening — but that if they lingered long enough on stage, newspapers would print photos that would make it look like they were. They then went on to quip about the many changes the Oscars has made.
“Just a quick update,” Rudolph said. “There will be no host tonight, there won’t be a Popular Movie category, and Mexico still won’t pay for the wall.”
And, instead of presenting awards during commercials, the women joked that winners are required to do commercials while accepting their awards on stage.
While they're not hosting — which, to reiterate, they should — the comedians did have a list of hacky jokes that they would have made were they given the time on stage. This included joking about Netflix being up for an Oscar, and Fey quipping that they hid Fyre Fest cheese sandwiches under everyone's seats.
Finally, after their moving rendition of "Shallow" from A Star Is Born, the women got serious and pointed out that all women are supporting actresses because of the way they support each other — be it Poehler, who joked that she supports Fey and Rudolph "financially," or Fey, who says she supports Poehler's boobs while she goes running.
Their segment was so fun that everyone from fans to author Roxane Gay thought they should just be this year's hosts.
Alas, however, their time on stage is up. Let's just consider this their 2020 audition.