What It Means If Your New Moon Is Decidedly Not Chill

produced by Julie Borowsky; photographed by Rochelle Brock; modeled by Tess Mayer.
The new moon has an image to maintain — and we here at Refinery29 have done our part to keep it intact. In theory, the new moon is a chance to kick back and relax, to nest, to get back in touch with yourself and your body, to reflect and craft grand plans for future successes. Um, that sounds lovely, but that rosy image fails to take into account most people's everyday lives and demanding schedules.
The new moon is also just another night in the month when we're expected to do any number of things — finish up important work, see friends, care for our family or pets, and prepare not for future successes but probably just the next 24 hours. So, if your new moons are rarely, if it all, the spiritually restorative periods that they're supposed to be, you're not alone — but you're not out of luck, either.
The lunar cycle is nature's great do-over machine. There's always next month to have the high-vibe, self-care-packed new moon you've always dreamt of. And, until then, it's perfectly fine to take a new moon raincheck and do your chilling out some other night, regardless of the phase. We won't tell the heavens on you.
That said, your reasons for missing the new moon might deserve a closer look.
As we said before, the new moon is about laying the groundwork for future developments and changes in your life. If you always spend it bemoaning your many commitments and responsibilities (and haven't done anything to address those frustrations), you might be missing a very obvious message: Overlooking the new moon means overlooking an opportunity to take action and reduce the stress in your life.
Yes, the new moon can be relaxing and everything your horoscope claims it to be, but it's more of a standing invitation than a divine intervention. You have to RSVP "yes" if you want to enjoy its effects. So, if the new moon tonight seems like it'll be yet another nonstop night of checking boxes and pleasing the whims of others, try to hit pause for at least a few minutes and ask yourself: How would you spend your new moon if it was totally up to you? How can you get a little closer to that perfect picture in your head next month?
Major changes come in minute steps — and the energy of the new moon recognizes that. If you can even start to clear your schedule or do one thing for yourself tonight, you'll be honoring the current lunar energy (and hopefully chilling out in the process). With time, or a few more lunar cycles, you could find your way to living your best imagined new moon. Whether that looks like a night of Netflix or a night of manifesting is up to you.

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