Game Of Thrones Season 7, Episode 5 Recap: There's No Business Like Snow Business

Photo: Helen Sloan/courtesy of HBO.
Last week's episode of Game Of Thrones had me up until 2 a.m. It's rare that a TV show, especially GoT, gives us literally everything we've been waiting for in one nice, shiny episode — which has me particularly on edge for tonight. By now, the reunions and meetings that we were rooting for have gone down, which means that anything can happen next. With that in mind, let's get started.
First up, Cersei and Jaime.
We pick right up in the aftermath of Daenery's attack. Now we know it was Bronn who saved Jaime by tackling him into the water — but don't start getting fuzzy feelings. Bronn's only keeping Jaime alive until he gets what he's owed. A Lannister can't pay their debts if they're dead.
Jaime breaks news of their defeat to Cersei — as well as another secret. He reveals that Olenna was the one responsible for Joffrey's death, not Tyrion. And Cersei does, uh, not take it well.
Shortly after, Bronn takes Jaime to the dungeon under the guise of training for battle, but instead puts Jaime face to face with none other than Tyrion, who arrived at King's Landing with Ser Davos (more on that later). They hash out their father's death, and the reality that Daenerys is going to win the war. The only way to avoid more death is if Cersei agrees to Daenerys' terms.
Jaime relays this news to Cersei, and she's surprisingly amenable.Why? She's pregnant. There's a whole new Lannister to fight for.
Then there are the Starks at Winterfell.
Bran is back on his Three-Eyed Raven bullshit, giving us a glimpse at the slow and steady march of the White Walkers. He sends word to the rest of the kingdoms, while Sansa and Arya negotiate with the increasingly restless men in the north. The two sisters are also dealing with their own differences. Arya disagrees with Sansa's laissez-faire approach, and Sansa is getting increasingly freaked out by Arya's aggressive streak — and so are we all, TBH.
Samwell and Gilly are outta here.
The Maesters receive word of Bran's vision, and are skeptical until Samwell interjects with his two cents. Bran's legit, he says, and he urges the maesters to confirm the threat of the White Walkers. With their endorsement, the rest of Westeros is more likely to believe what Jon's been preaching all along. However, the Archmaester needs more proof.
This doesn't sit well with Samwell, who has a bit of an outburst while back home with Gilly. This is a shame, because he missed her dropping some seriously important information. Apparently, one of the maesters performed an annulment for Rhaegar Targaryen and performed a secret wedding ceremony. Were Rhaegar and Lyanna actually...married? Is Jon actually the rightful Targaryen king? Looks like we won't find out until later, since Sam glosses over this game-changing information to head out to the library, gather scrolls, and get out of dodge with Gilly and their baby in tow.
"I'm tired of reading about the achievements of better men," he says. He's about to get some achievements of his own.
Plus, things are heating up between Jon Snow and Daenerys.
After the battle, Daenerys took the surviving Lannister army captive. Here's the twist: she's not going to kill them — as long as they bend the knee. She's not Cersei Lannister, she says. However, there are those who refuse, namely, the Tarlys, including new bae Dickon. Both he and his father Randyll won't recognize Daenerys as their queen, and despite Tyrion's pleading, the two Tarlys are toast, courtesy of Drogon. Samwell is the head of House Tarly now.
Back at Dragonstone, Daenerys makes quite the entrance. Drogon plants himself in front of Jon, and allows Jon to stroke his snout. Cute! Also, important! Remember — Jon's actually a Targaryen, and it looks like Drogon knows it.
Suddenly, an even better meeting occurs. Ser Jorah has made his way back to Daenerys, and is ready to return to her service. They hug, and Jon does not look pleased at this competitor for Daenerys heart.
While Jon looks more smitten with Daenerys than ever, Tyrion and Varys appear to be losing faith. They're not happy with her decision to burn the Tarlys, and worry that she'll follow the path of her mad father if she doesn't listen to their guidance.
Jon, having received Bran's raven, comes up with a pretty unconventional plan thanks to Tyrion's guidance. While Tyrion and Davos head to King's Landing, Jorah and Jon are going to capture one of the White Walkers as proof.
Before they head out, there's one more meeting. Ser Davos returns from King's Landing with Gendry (#TBT), who was hiding right under Cersei's nose as a blacksmith this whole time. Forget the battle of the bastards — the meeting of the bastards is underway. Jon and Gendry are getting on like a house on fire, and decide to set off together to carry out Jon's grand plan. After a quick goodbye to Daenerys — looks like the two won't be smooching on this side of the war, at least — Jon, Jorah, and Gendry hit the open road (read: sea).
Since time apparently isn't a concept in Westeros, just seconds later Jon pleads with the Free Folk for help on their quest to capture a White Walker. However, the Free Folk have something to show him first. They found the Hound, who is also in search of White Walkers. They all have different reasons for going beyond the Wall, but despite Gendry's protests, they're all on the same side. Beyond the Wall they go.
Additional Thoughts
Cersei and Jaime have decided to be loud and proud about their incest in the wake of their incoming baby.
Arya has found a suspicious scroll in Littlefinger's quarters, but what's even more suspicious is that it seems like he wanted her too.
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