I will admit that in the dark of night, I sometimes rank The Bachelor villains. I usually place Courtney of Ben Flajnik's season at the top of my list, mainly because she was one maniacal cackle shy of a malevolent sea witch. That's what I look for in my reality television villains: I want camp, camp, and more camp. This season's villain, Corinne Olympios, has challenged my late-night organization. Most famously, she told America that her nether regions were made of platinum, which almost verges on too absurd. She has a nanny, she's not afraid of hanky-panky, and — this is what makes her a true villain — she rides with erstwhile Bachelor villains. This weekend, the Miami native appeared in an Instagram post from Olivia Caridi, the villainous news broadcaster from season 20. "One time Kanye said, 'I'm sorry, but these are the best TV villains of all time, OF ALL TIME,'" Caridi wrote. The attribution of the quote is dubious — I doubt that with his schedule, Kanye has the time to watch The Bachelor. But they've made their claim: Olivia Caridi and Corinne Olympios are the best Bachelor villains of all time.
Will all due respect to my lady Olivia, she can hardly lay claim to that title. Not when there's an alleged platinum vagina on the table. This weekend crew wasn't just limited to Caridi and Olympios — this season's villain shared her own post with Leah Block, who enjoyed a taste of evildoing during Ben Higgins' season. Block tried to cement her villain status by spreading lies about Lauren Bushnell, the eventual winner of the season. In the post, Block and Olympios wear Snapchat-bequeathed flower crowns. The caption says, simply: "Doppelgänger." To which, I say: Corinne, this is not your doppelgänger. You are peerless. When I am ranking Bachelor villains, I do not even bother to consider Block. The more important takeaway here is that Bachelor villains are fully aware of their status. In fact, they celebrate it. I think I knew this in my heart of hearts, but this weekend, my favorite campy villains reveled in their malevolence. And I don't mind that at all.