I Love Beauty & The Beast, But It Teaches Horrible Life Lessons

Following the release of the first stills from the upcoming live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast, excitement levels are at a record high. Yellow dresses are making a comeback and before you know it, everyone you know will be greeting you by shouting, "Bonjour!" (Prediction: That will get old, fast.)

Personally, I love Beauty and the Beast. It's probably my favorite Disney film of all time. But if I'm being honest, there are certain elements of the animated classic, which turns 25 years old this month, that I don't feel the need to relive. Specifically: The retro life lessons it has imparted to generations of impressionable young ladies.

This movie teaches little girls that they'll literally be able to change the men who treat them badly into Prince Charming and live happily ever after in an enchanted palace filled with candelabras that speak with French accents. This is blatantly false. The men who treat you badly will not, in fact, turn out to be handsome royalty. They will continue to be assholes. Leave them. You can do better. Furthermore, what does Belle do all day? Does she just read? How can I get that gig?

I'm not the only one with questions. Emma Watson herself has stated that it was important for Belle to have a backstory in the new adaptation. "There was never very much information or detail at the beginning of the story as to why Belle didn’t fit in, other than she liked books. Also, what is she doing with her time?'" Watson asked. See? Emma gets it.

Now, we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as we proudly present this slideshow of truly questionable teachings put forward by this tale as old as time. Be our guest.

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