It is hard to believe that the finale of Rob & Chyna is here. It seems like only yesterday that we figuratively dove into the deep end of Chyna’s pool along with the apology flowers from Rob that she chucked in during a fight. This week, we pick up right where we left off with Rob at Kris’s house. Kris manages to put her feelings aside (after the awkwardness of the “what about me” portion of this discussion last week) to express concern about her son’s erratic behavior. “It’s too painful to see you,” she says. She tells him he has to be more responsible. “Everyone in my family is so dramatic,” Rob says, in what can only be classified as a massive understatement. Chyna and Paige discuss Rob in the car. Chyna’s doubts about her relationship with Rob are only getting worse. She is frustrated with Rob’s behavior. This latest fight and his subsequent disappearance have pushed her to the edge. “At some point, there is only so much I can do as a person,” Chyna says. “At this rate, Rob ain’t changing, and I don’t have time.” Chyna has agreed to pose for Paper magazine and Kim drops by the photo shoot. Chyna is happy that she and Kim are getting to spend time together again. They were close in the past, and Chyna also likes that Kim takes a tough love stance with Rob. Chyna asks Kim for advice on dealing with Rob, who Chyna still hasn’t talked to since the most recent fight. Kim’s fresh out of Rob solutions, but she does offer them an option. She invites them over to her house so they can talk. Kim Kardashian West as mediator is a surprise. If nothing else, she dresses the part. She’s got a comfy couch and a sympathetic ear. She gives Rob some of that tough love that Chyna was talking about. “You’re a man. You have a kid on the way. Man up,” she tells her brother. She also says she wouldn’t put up with Kanye disappearing on her for seven days. The question everyone wants answered is what sets Rob off and makes him shut everyone out. He has no answer, or at least not one he is willing to share. Unfortunately, that’s all the time Kim has for today. She recommends getting together every week, but no mention of co-pays or whether or not she takes their insurance. During Rob’s blackout period in Las Vegas, he deleted all of the pictures on his Instagram. This sent the internet into a tailspin and Chyna is dealing with the speculation about her. She tells Paige that his social media purge brought out all the trolls who are now hinting that Chyna had an affair. “I don’t have time for that,” Chyna says. At Rob’s house, Scott has stopped by to check in on the prodigal son. Scott doesn’t pull any punches. “I’m just trying to understand what’s going on,” he says to Rob. “Do you realize how many people you are hurting?” Rob doesn’t want to hear it from Scott. He deflects Scott’s concern, tossing it off and suggesting that Scott should worry about his own problems. Scott tells Rob that Rob makes things into bigger issues than they need to be. Rob tells Scott that he’s trying to get his mind right for the baby and that’s the only thing he’s worried about. Scott suggests that Rob should see a therapist, get some professional help. (No offense, Kim.) Chyna decides that the best way to shut down the rumors and the trolls is to get a paternity test. She knows the baby is Rob’s baby, but she just wants to quell the chatter. She enlists Kim to help her get a sample of Rob’s DNA because Chyna has decided that she’s going to surprise Rob with the results, a reverse Maury if you will. Kim, apparently up for anything in this episode, agrees. “That is legend,” Chyna says to the camera. Rob tells Chyna that he has decided to see a therapist. He repeats the fact that he doesn’t agree with therapy, but he’s willing to give it a shot if it helps their relationship. “It really means a lot,” Chyna says. “I just want to do everything in our power to improve this relationship before the baby comes, so me and Kim are about to get some DNA on the low.” Chyna logic is a special kind of logic.
Lucy and Ethel would be proud (maybe) of Chyna and Kim and their ability to execute a harebrained caper. Chyna distracts Rob while Kim feigns a sore neck to lint roller Rob’s bed looking for a hair sample. Chyna excuses herself so she can steal his toothbrush for a sample. They almost get away with it, too, until Chyna drops Rob’s toothbrush on the way downstairs. Rob is remarkably chill about the wacky stunt, telling both Chyna and Kim that they should have just asked. He’d be happy to do a DNA test. DNA test at his fiancee's house and then therapy at his mother’s house. Just another day in the life of Rob Kardashian, the man of a thousand issues. The therapy session is obviously staged for the cameras, which, in some small way, is a relief and makes it feel less creepy. Almost. Rob tells his therapist that he is sensitive and he resents that he hasn’t gotten to be as much a part of the pregnancy as he would like to be. The therapist suggests that he “work every single day to be as open and honest as you can be.” That is the advice fake therapy at your mom’s house gets you. The conversation between Rob and Chyna about the therapy starts off awkward but ends in a good place. She appreciates that he is trying and he can be honest with her about his feelings about being left out of some of the important milestones of the pregnancy. Chyna agrees to try to be more sensitive to his feelings and to be more loving towards him. Back at the therapist’s office, otherwise known as Kris’s house, Rob has an idea. “I think we should have a family dinner here because I haven’t attended one of those in years,” he says to his mom. Kris would throw a family dinner for the opening of an envelope, so she is thrilled to pull it together. “I’ll have this organized in like 30 minutes,” she says.
The dinner itself is uneventful, other than Rob promising his family to be more present. He also says he wants to make the family dinners a regular thing. “I think it’s wonderful that you did this, Rob,” Kris says giving credit where credit isn’t due. “There’s nothing better than family.” Way to stay on brand, Kris. The results of the paternity test confirm what everyone already knew: Robert Kardashian, you are the father. Both Rob and Chyna are relieved. Now, if anyone asks, they can show the receipts.