Rob & Chyna Episode 4 Recap: Baby Boot Camp

Photo: Courtesy of E!.
Rob and Chyna did a lot this week that had nothing to do with Rob & Chyna. Phone numbers were put on blast and breakup rumors squashed on Snapchat. But let’s put a pin in all of that and travel back in time to July, which is when we start this week’s episode. The episode picks right up with Tokyo Toni’s words of advice (or warning, hard to tell which) to Rob. She wants him to fly straight and treat her daughter right. “Do you think she’s gonna want a baby with no father around?” Toni asks. Rob, uncharacteristically, doesn’t freak out. He reassures Toni that he loves her daughter and wants to be there for her and the baby. When they get back to L.A., Rob and Chyna take a minute to talk about what Toni had to say. They both agree that they jumped into the relationship, the engagement, and the baby quickly. “We probably should have gotten to know each other a little better,” Rob says. At Rob’s house, Scott pushes Rob to get together with Rob’s old group of friends. Again, thank goodness for Scott being here, or so little would ever happen at Rob’s house. Scott has known Rob a long time, and he knows Rob’s friends who were always around when Rob was growing up. Scott calls it “heartbreaking” that Rob won’t reach out to those guys. Rob sings his same old song: “I’m just not comfortable.” Romantic shenanigans are afoot at Chyna’s house. Chyna’s friend Sam has found a love language quiz. This is the solution Chyna didn’t even realize she needed! She has Sam give her the test, and she immediately emails the quiz to Rob with strict instructions for him to take it, too. The results are not to Chyna’s liking. Her love language is “acts of service.” Rob’s language is “quality time.” According to Chyna, these are exact opposites. No wonder they have been having trouble communicating! Problem identified, if not solved. Rob doesn’t waste any time addressing the disparity in their love languages. He asks Paige to teach him how to make Chyna’s favorite foods. He is going to surprise Chyna with a romantic date night. Rob and King set up a table outside by Chyna’s pool. Rob pulls out all the stops — a folding table in the backyard, a white tablecloth, linen napkins, and candles. It is a nice gesture, and it comes from a good place. “I know Chyna is super nervous about our relationship,” he says. “So I just want to give Chyna a night under the stars.” Chyna appreciates the surprise, and she appreciates that he cooked her favorite foods. The date night is proof to her that Rob does listen. Scott enlists Chyna to help him get Rob together with his old friends. Chyna suggests that it be a surprise because then Rob won't be able to back out if he gets nervous.
Meanwhile, other members of Rob’s family are on a mission to get everything ready for the baby. Kris comes over to Chyna’s for a home inspection, making some awkward mother-in-law jokes along the way. She has her tape measure out for Paige’s room, which will be the baby’s room. “What are you going to do about Paige?” Kris asks. No big deal, Chyna, your future mother-in-law is drawing up eviction papers for one of your best friends. Nothing to worry about here. Kim agrees to help Rob learn some “baby stuff” because she feels like he “doesn’t even know the basics.” Scott’s secret plan to reunite Rob with his friends blows up when one of Rob’s friends texts him about whether they are staying at Rob’s place or going out. Rob isn’t happy that Scott planned this get together behind his back. “You know all of this freaks me out,” Rob says to Scott. Scott understands but is convinced Rob will be comfortable after two minutes of seeing his friends. Who knew Scott Disick was such an optimist? Especially considering it has been years since Rob responded to messages from his friends with any regularity. Rob is embarrassed. “I’m not down to have a whole barbecue of just me explaining myself.” Of course not, Rob. Better to have a whole reality show to do just that. The plan to evict Paige gets rolling. Chyna and Sam go to lunch, and Chyna asks for his advice. “I don’t know how to break it down to her about her moving out,” Chyna says. “I’ve been trying to drop hints. I don’t know if she got the memo.” Paige has been staying with Chyna for seven years. This isn’t just a weekend house guest who decided to leave on Monday instead. Chyna pays Rob back for date night with a surprise lunch of her own. She packs a picnic for them and suggests they pretend it is their first date. She introduces herself. She asks all the questions she would have asked, presumably, if they had had a normal start to their courtship. It sounds a little bit like a job interview wherein Rob is applying for the position of Mr. Blac Chyna: Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Do you see us getting married next year? Are we going to do the right things for each other? Rob isn’t flustered by Chyna’s questions. “I just want to be happy,” he says about his 10-year plan. “I have to care about a lot more than myself.” We’ve got a good feeling about you landing the job, Rob! The day of reckoning has arrived for Paige. Chyna eases into it, not knowing if there will be yelling or tears or both. “I’m just trying to figure out what you’re wanting to do as far as housing and stuff,” Chyna says, which, if it's not the least threatening way to approach that question, it is awfully close to it. Paige takes it like a champ. She knew this day was coming. Chyna’s concerns about being a bad friend were all for nothing. “When we first came here, we were like, ‘I’m gonna chill for a minute then get an apartment,’” Paige says. “This has always been temporary.” Well done, ladies. Back in Bel-Air, Kim takes Rob through Baby Boot Camp. Rob points out that Chyna knows how to do things and he’s comfortable with her parenting skills. Not the point, Rob, Kim says with a look. “But we want her to be comfortable with you, too,” Kim says, then teaches Rob how to swaddle the baby. He’s not the worst, but admits he’s going to need more practice.
Kourtney and Scott come over to Rob’s for the reunion of Rob and his friends. To prepare, Rob makes himself a steak, salmon, and blueberry smoothie, like you do. Sure, it starts out awkward but eventually Rob manages to get over himself, at least a little bit.
Chyna gives him some space with his friends. “I know this is awkward for Rob. But he needs to get out there and quit being weird,” she says. At the end of the get-together, Rob promises to start responding to everyone’s texts. That, as small as it is, is progress. “I’ve known all of them since the fourth grade. So I just need to get over it,” Rob says. Rob’s reward for acting like a grown-up and interacting with people who care about him? Chyna plans a sex date with toys from a sex shop. She puts on slinky lingerie and ties him to the couch. Rob has a question first: “Can I wear my hat?” Sigh.

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