In her strong ongoing bid to leap to the top of the Kardashian power rankings, Khloe took to her website and app to answer a question most commonly found in Truth or Dare games played by 17-year-olds that have run out of ideas: What’s the craziest place you’ve ever, you know, done sex?
The 31-year-old says that she’s not a huge fan of wild sex spots, but that she’s had her fair share of fun. Her top three are private plane, moving car, and the kitchen counter.
"Doing it on a private plane is great, especially when there are other passengers on board. It's part of the thrill!" Kardashian wrote. "I walked into the bathroom first and then he followed so it wasn't exactly stealth, haha!!! Everyone obviously knew what was going on in and when I walked out, they asked if we had fun, LOL!!!"
Pretty good. Sex on a private plane is cool because you’re part of the mile-high club and because you’re on a private plane, which is the closest you can get to orgasm while abiding by FAA rules and regulations.
Of her kitchen counter, which she rates five stars out of a possible five, Kardashian says, "You're at home, so it's comfortable, but it's still a little different than the norm. A marble kitchen counter is sexy, thrilling ... and cold, LOL."
Now, the kitchen counter is not at all an insane place to have sex. It’s in your house. You can make sure nobody else is home. It’s also a perfect height. I guess it’s thrilling in that you’re violating a lot of Department of Public Health guidelines for food safety. If you’re planning on doing this, please be sure to disinfect your counter.
The moving car received only two of five stars.
"Don't try this at home! Someone else was driving and I was in the backseat, but I'm a tall girl so it feels cramped and it hurts my f---ing knees," Kardashian wrote. "Getting down in a moving car is a waste of time, because nothing happens for me. I just don't get to the finish line! If you're down for a thrill, then by all means, but this one gets a low rating from me!"
Ok. First of all, love it. Whoever was driving was either a saint or the most discreet Uber ever. Second of all, good points by her. Car sex is horrible and the 1950s should shut up about it. Third, damn Khloe, what is up with the exclamation points?!