Following his appearance on Alex Wang's arm at Mondays's CFDA Awards, da Mango has officially returned — from exile, no less — with the premiere of the designer's T campaign video. "Everyone wanted-da-Mango," the exotic dancer, played by former SNL cast member Chris Kattan in the late nineties and early aughts, tells a pair of fashion bloggers (aptly named Male Fashion Blogger and Female Fashion Blogger). "It became too much for me." His exact breaking point: rejecting Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and their kids. "I knew the world wasn't safe with me in it," he continues, "so I went far away to the Arctic, where I stayed in hiding until someone from Alexander Wang came and told me that the world needed me. It was like getting slapped in the face with a giant wang." Truer words were never spoken by a fictional stripper in a fash-collab film. But, to Mango's dismay, he soon learns that the world merely needed his backup-dancing prowess. Rapper, choreographer, and BANJI-movement founder Sharaya J is the true star of the project.
There will be no further spoilers. However, the movie does contain a handful of introspective monologues from Mango, sputtered as he stands robe-clad with the camera whirling around him. "To be da Mango…can you describe what it's like to be a rainbow?" he wonders. "Can you ask a beautiful flower, 'Hey, beautiful flower, can I be you for a second? What, you can't answer me? You're a flower? Oh, ho, well, then I'm sorry I bothered you.'" Also, "Derek Blasberg, why are you everywhere?"