Donald Trump Sensibly Advises Kate Middleton On How Not To Pose Topless

Oh, Kate Middleton, silly girl! Thinking she has the right to be her own person for two seconds without being photographed! What an idiot. Honestly, she was totally asking for those topless photos. She probably hired the photographer herself. Right, Donald Trump?
Mr. Toupee has opened our eyes to the fact that having one's privacy invaded is totally avoidable if you just try to remember the fact that a paparazzi could be two miles away taking your photo with a crazy long-range lens. Maybe she should just wear a trash bag over her head from now on and call it a day!
Seriously, though, why is Donald Trump even weighing in on this? We could maybe, just maybe begin to understand this kind of attitude if we were talking about a celebrity who regularly experiences wardrobe malfunctions in convenient, easily photographed locations. But Kate? Even if this didn't bother her, which we're guessing it does, surely she knows she'd be in big trouble if she started hamming it up for the press in any kind of remotely scandalous way (Harry can get away with it, but he's not the future queen). Way to blame the victim, Donald.

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