Goth, Emo, Indie, Scene: Photographing Myself As Different Teen Tribes

"For me, photography has always been about talking to and connecting with people in real life. I’ve always been interested in music subcultures and the idea of a collective identity within them. Not having access to that during the pandemic meant I had to find new things to document. I had some time on my hands so I figured I could give self-portraits a go." 

London-based, Manchester-raised photographer Lauren Maccabee is discussing the story behind her project, In Concert. Assuming the identity of different music fans, Maccabee has created a fun and deliciously nostalgic exploration of teen subcultures and tribes. Though turning the camera on herself was new, she says, she’s no stranger to the importance of scenes in shaping identity. A few years ago she was asked by The Face to document music fans before they went into a Drake concert. "It was fascinating. Going to a concert is kind of like going to prom – it’s a big deal…especially because the tickets are so expensive," she recalls. "I find it really interesting how you can tell what type of music the concert will be just by looking at the people queueing up for it. There’s a real sense of excitement – I still remember outfits I wore to concerts when I was a teenager."

Looking back, Maccabee says she experimented with a lot of different scenes. "I think when you’re growing up in the suburbs but still have access to a city you are constantly aware of trends in music and fashion but are often a bit behind," she says. "I was definitely an indie kid, then had a bit of a scene kid/emo phase. I dyed my hair black and had a huge side fringe – there was a lot of backcombing. In Manchester there’s a place called Afflecks Palace. A big group of us would get the bus into town and spend ages in there, looking at everything but very rarely buying. There are still a lot of the same shops there [now]. I guess my style was very reflective of the music I was listening to. Throughout my emo phase there was a lot of Paramore, Fall Out Boy and Green Day but I also had a big indie phase – I think most teens did in the late noughties. During that time I listened to The Kooks, The Fratellis, Florence and the Machine, The Maccabees and the Arctic Monkeys." Later, she says, she remembers saving up for the iconic American Apparel disco pants and a lot of tea dresses, too.

From emos and goths to Ariana Grande and Billie Eilish stans, In Concert moves between the nostalgic and the now – the scenes Maccabee grew up with and some more recent ones she didn’t. "I was originally only going to do older ones like the New Romantics and glam rock but they felt a bit too 'fancy dress'," she explains. "I wanted the outfits to be believable and not feel too much like a caricature, which involved a lot of charity shopping and eBay searching. It was important to me there was still a bit of a link to today’s music fans and I looked up a lot of photos of fans before concerts, or pictures of musicians with fans."

When you’re growing up, aligning yourself with a certain scene is everything, isn’t it? Finding the perfect outfits, getting hold of the right albums, bonding over bands with friends and crushes – these are the experiences that shape us, the memories we laugh about and think back on fondly in the years to come. "I think it gives you a sense of identity among your peers," says Maccabee warmly. "Teenagehood is such an interesting time in your life – it’s messy and fun and awkward and confusing and sometimes really difficult, but dressing up to go to a concert with your best friends is a big moment. I guess it makes sense why there are so many coming-of-age films and so much music written about being that age." 

Here, Maccabee shares the inspiration behind each of her self-portraits. Taking us on a journey back through some of her own teen memories, she invites us to remember ours, too…

"I had a brief emo phase in my early teen years. I’m glad I deleted my Myspace account a long time ago so those photos can’t ever come back to haunt me! So much energy went into straightening my hair and using loads of hairspray so it stayed in place. I have naturally very curly hair but I was determined to straighten it every day. I got most of the things for this look from Afflecks Palace in Manchester. The accessories were the most important part to this look I think. The Converse are my own but I took the white laces out and replaced them with green ones. I made the bracelets and necklaces from scratch, which was very time-consuming! I felt a bit of affection towards this one. Not because I like the way it looks at all but because it reminds me of being an awkward teenager – getting up at the crack of dawn to straighten my hair for hours before piling on Dream Matte Mousse and Rimmel eyeliner, and probably having 'Rawr xD' in my MSN username."

"There’s an area in Manchester (which is now called the Football Museum) which used to be called Urbis. Next to Urbis there’s a few benches and some grass – which is where all the goths/emo/scene kids would hang out on the weekend. I don’t even remember chatting to other groups much, it felt like it was more about just being there. People would post a Myspace bulletin saying they would be on Urbis and you’d kind of just sit there for the whole day. I remember feeling like all the different style genres felt very different and nuanced. I was probably more of an emo/scene kid but I remember thinking the goths looked the coolest. It felt like they didn’t follow trends in the same way as other music genres. The fishnets and leather jacket were important things for this, and ensuring the outfit/accessories were all black or silver. I don’t think I could handle wearing that amount of makeup every day though. The commitment is real!"

"I shot this a couple of days before Billie revealed she had dyed her hair to be blonde. So now this one weirdly already seems very dated, which is funny. I nearly went full in and got a wig with green roots – but that definitely felt too caricature and dress-up so I opted for a few green streaks. I think baggy clothes and the right body language was really important. I also really wanted a few accents of bright colours."

"I’m quite a big Dolly Parton fan (I feel like a lot of people are secretly?) and I listened to a podcast called Dolly Parton’s America, which I loved. I wanted to do a look which didn’t feel quite so young and was slightly out of the box so 'country' seemed appropriate. I looked at photos from country festivals in the US for inspiration. I think the colours of the outfit were important so it felt very patriotic. And, of course, the boots!"

"I’ve got naturally curly hair and I’ve had a fringe my whole life so to have extensions, straight hair and it all scraped back off my face was bizarre. It felt weirdly exposing. Even though I’m always here for pop music, I wouldn’t say I’m a huge pop fan. This look probably felt the most alien to me. It was important to get the hair and makeup and shoes right for this one; I was sure it had to be box-fresh Air Forces and quite a lot of contouring on my face."

"This is probably the closest to how I looked in 2007/2008 – it really threw me when I got the photos back! I realised I was holding myself differently in the photos, too – the hands curled up in the jumper and the awkward slight smile. I think the dungarees and the tote bag were important. I never had a proper bag when I was at school, always a tote bag full of stuff I didn’t need which I’d use until it basically fell apart. Alexa Chung and Alex Turner were together when I was a teenager and I remember thinking they just both looked so cool. I find it kind of terrifying that 'indie sleaze' is coming back. I nearly did a look that was more new rave/indie sleaze but I couldn’t quite bring myself to… Everyone just looked so bad?!"