Communication in relationships is difficult enough as it is. Add physical distance into the mix and things become SO much more complex.
Instead of being able to walk around the flat pretending to ignore each other, going for a run to cool off or partaking in some make up sex, for those of us in long distance relationships (I'm calling them LDRs) it can get reduced to petty post-argument point winning tactics like blocking each other on social media, calls that go straight to voicemail, Whatsapp messages that result in one tick - none of which, I can assure you, are going to help you resolve a disagreement. Plus, being on the receiving end of that digital cold shoulder is torture.
I’m in a long distance relationship and, despite the occasional argument, we’ve managed to figure out how to make things work pretty damn well, if I do say so myself.
My boyfriend and I met in Toronto, three years ago, during my final year of university. We were at a mutual friend’s birthday party. I already had a crush on him and I knew he was going to be there so I purposefully wore my favourite yellow dress, hoping that he would notice me. After realising my stilettoed feet were far from able to make the less than 10 minute trek up the road to the afterparty, he called a taxi for us (first offering to carry me. I politely declined). Once we were in the car, we shared our first kiss and, soon after that, we were inseparable.
That first year was actual bliss, even when we reminisce about it now. But the fateful day came when I had to go back to Kingston, Jamaica (my hometown) - so I could quell my post-uni depression and figure out what I wanted to do with my life under the safe, rent-free roof of my parent’s house.
Not wanting to give up on our relationship, we decided to give long distance a try. After four tough months, he came to Jamaica and met my parents, then a few months later, I met him in Toronto to spend Christmas together. It was hard, but we made it work. Then, I got the opportunity to study fashion journalism in London (my dream) and at the same time, his company offered him a position in Germany (not too far away).
So, here we are, two years down the line, and (touch wood), we seem to be doing pretty damn well by sticking to a few rules that we've learned make all the difference. LDRs aren't for everyone. You're going to need to be head-over-heels and up for a challenge. Oh, and in possession of a great internet connection – you're going to be doing a lot of Facetime.