The world is full of jokes centred on the idea that people’s sex lives end when they get married: “My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.” “What food diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%? Wedding cake.”
But these jokes are based in sexist stereotypes that say men want sex all the time and women don’t want sex at all. (Not to mention the fact that these stereotypes don't acknowledge same-sex couples.) The reality of sex after marriage is not so dire.
In fact, married people are having more sex than unmarried people, according to the 2017 General Social Survey. Between 2010 and 2014, married adults had sex 56 times per year, on average, while unmarried adults had sex 51 times per year. So that means the average married couple has sex slightly more than once a week, while average singletons have sex slightly less than once a week.
Keeping up a thriving sex life isn’t always easy when you're years into a partnership and dealing with the unsexy realities of life on the daily. You will likely have to put some work into it — think scheduling sex, having in-depth conversations about what you and your spouse would like your sex life to look like, and trying new things in bed. You and your partner’s libidos will go through highs and lows over time, and you will learn to work with those changes.
"We can become a bit nostalgic for the beginnings of relationships where sex might have been more frequent," Myisha Battle, a certified sex coach in San Francisco, previously told Refinery29. "Developing acceptance of the ebb and flow of sex within your relationship can be more satisfying in the long run.”
Okay, okay, okay. None of that sounds super-sexy and fun. But hearing from people who got hitched about their experiences even years down the road might change your mind. We read through various sexy Reddit threads, and found stories that prove that sex after marriage can be as hot as ever.