The Sort Of Embarrassing Way I Keep My Shirt Tucked In All Day

Illustrated by Anna Sudit.
I'll go to great lengths to make my clothes work for me. I have duct-taped the back of my feet to last through a pinchy pair of heels, and I have tied a dress onto my body in order to keep it from falling off. My lack of boundaries is both a blessing and a curse: While I have more than a therapy session's worth of stories about wardrobe malfunctions, I've also stumbled across a litany of unorthodox hacks that are easy to do (and won't leave you covered in glue residue). One of my biggest pet peeves are shirts that won't stay tucked into skirts. Unlike pants, skirts can ride up or down throughout the day, making the shirt underneath come out. In fact, once upon a time, I found myself retucking my shirts every spare moment I got. And then, one day in middle school, after a particularly frustrating boxy, silk blouse just refused to stay put, I tucked it into my tights. It stayed! Now, I mention "embarrassing" in the headline because some people have said this is gross. Why, exactly? Most people I know who wear tights also wear underwear, and (if I can play devil's advocate for a second) even if you were going commando, it's not like your shirt is going to venture anywhere weird. The elastic from the tights will keep your tops in place all day, even those in tough-to-tuck fabrics and boxy, wide cuts. Obviously, just make sure the waist of your skirt is above your tights' waistband, and you're good to go. If you don't think this is particularly novel, it's all right. After all, I "discovered" this secret during a time when I also "discovered" Bob Dylan and Greek yogurt, so my faith in myself as a cultural pioneer is weak. Still, there have been enough instances in which I've mentioned this tip to struggling, untucked people, and they hadn't heard of it. So, I feel like a few of you out there in flappy-shirt-hem land will benefit. As for pants or shorts, I have not yet landed on a trick that's as foolproof, but if one of you intrepid DIYers has something that's worked for you, please leave it in the comments! In the meantime, feel free to raise your arms and reach for that last granola bar in the office kitchen cupboard with confidence. You've got it this time.

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