If we split the bill, it’s like, what are we, buddies?
Romance Or Coercion? The First-Date ConundrumWhen I started asking my friends about who pays for dates, they typically responded with another question: “Is this a first date?” They weren’t the only ones to consider the first date an anomaly. Of the women we polled, 59% agreed that a man should always offer to pay for the first date. “If we split the bill, it’s like, what are we, buddies?” my friend Jasmin said. The first date, then, is seen as a complete package: One party does all the asking, planning, and paying. The phrase “taking someone out on a date” pretty much implies that someone will be taken care of, and 51% of women surveyed agree that whoever initiated the date should pay. It’s almost as if paying the bill is the final step in saying, “Yes, this is a date, and I am interested in you.”
I don't like men to pay for me, as I am afraid they will feel that I ‘owe’ them something in return (sex, another date, etc.)
Context & Location MattersHere’s an interesting contradiction: Even though 48% of the women surveyed said they would let their dates pay for them, and 54% of women said they “sometimes” or “always” expect their date to pay for them, 46% report feeling guilty when they don't pay.
Part of why I never date or go on apps is I don’t have the budget for [that many dates]. I’d rather spend money on other things.