An Open Letter To Cathy Horyn, Hedi Slimane, Oscar de la Renta, & Lady Gaga

Recently, some very high-profile individuals in fashion have turned their passive aggression into aggressive aggression through the use of “open letters.” Not one to pass up a warming trend, we present our very own version.
Dear Mr. Slimane, Mr. de la Renta, Ms. Horyn, and Ms. Gaga,
Seriously, you're all highly respected in your fields. But the more you pick at each other for slights perceived or actual, the less the rest of us are able to focus on your talent.
Yes, Hedi Slimane, Cathy Horyn — who is currently eating alone in the cafeteria — inadvertently provoked you by suggesting that Raf Simons is responsible for your slim-suited aesthetic. But, by responding to her, you appeared desperately thin-skinned, dispelling much of the mystery and hauteur you earned during your design hiatus. One new collection and you’re Kimora Lee Simmons all of the sudden? Hedi, baby, shrug it off — you're a star no matter what they say! After all, the buyers, they're on board....
You too, Mr. de la Renta. We know something was lost in translation when Horyn suggested you physically resemble a ballpark snack. But, instead of writing an open letter, couldn’t you have just blabbed to Page Six that she resembles a scone with a wig or something? Better yet, couldn't you have responded with silent dignity (always a good look)? After all, you were supposed to be fashion’s distinguished elder statesman the last time we checked.
Our suggestion to both of you: Stop reading your own press. Nothing good can come of it (unless you’re reading this, of course, in which case, hi!). Be graceful titans, not flame-throwing teens (we’re feeling a bit like guidance counselors, here).
Oh, and Ms. Horyn, we would never suggest you edit yourself: You keep doing you, girl. But our suggestion applies to you, too — try to avoid dialogues that have little to do with clothing or aesthetics, mmkay? Your subjects aren’t always in on the fun, after all.
Oh, and, Lady Gaga? Profane, rapped ex cathedra pronouncements on taste and civility are more than we can handle. We get that being heavily invested in fashion and having 30 million Twitter followers, you feel as if you should step forward, but, sometimes, it’s best to watch from the sidelines (whatever happened to this plan, by the way?).
There, we’ve said our piece. Now, go back to your lockers and stop fighting.
Love to you all,

Photos: via WWD, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook.

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