10 People Who Make Life Hard For No Reason

Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
On most days of my life, I’m a people person — outgoing, friendly, and willing to talk to almost anyone. But then there are the days when my social existence goes full-blown Mercury retrograde, and I become a magnet for insufferable people who test my very faith in humanity. We’ve all been there: You’re at a party having the time of your life when suddenly you find yourself trapped in a conversation with a mansplaining tech bro, a Trump supporter who won't stop talking about building that Mexico wall, or, worst of all, someone who hates Beyoncé. In moments like these, I find myself wishing I had never left my house, where there are unfinished books and jars of crunchy peanut butter.

Meditating for too long on the unsavory specimens of the human race can be a fruitless exercise in misanthropy. In most cases it is best to take the high road, and excuse yourself from the conversation when someone offers to show you pictorial evidence of her career as a Meghan Trainor impersonator. And yet, taking the high road can be an exhausting journey; sometimes we need to vent about all those people who drive us crazy. This is why I’ve come up with a list of the 10 people who make you never, ever want to leave the house. To quote Steel Magnolias: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.”

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