Last year was something else. I had a lot of ups, such as appearing in The Hills: New Beginnings, launching my own podcast, reaching countless milestones with my son, family and friends, and taking some unforgettable trips. I also struggled with some downs, including a miscarriage, a parade of personal insecurities, and a schedule so hectic that it gave me headaches.
Looking back, these past 12 months made me realize the truth of that old adage: hindsight is 20/20. Now the year is 2020, and I’m go ng in wiser, tougher, and with 10 goals that I hope will make this my best year yet — as a mother and a woman. After all, when the year is synonymous with perfect vision, who am I to question it?
1) Be more present.
It’s practically impossible to live in the moment when you’re constantly planning your next move. This is one of my most unshakable habits, and my quest for improvement will probably never end. So, my resolution (for the millionth time) is to miss fewer moments. So much of running a household with kids is about logistics, and instead of thinking about what’s next, I want to focus on what’s happening NOW. When I’m with Sonny, I want to take more mental pauses and pictures so I can really be there with him and soak in every second.
2) Let your child lead.
I learned this one from Aliza Pressman, a child development specialist at Mount Sinai Parenting Center who guested on my podcast. Sometimes I get so busy that I feel like I’m neglecting Sonny, but Aliza taught me that quality of time means more than quantity. On days when I only have, say, 30 minutes in the morning and evening, I use that precious time to engage with Sonny on his terms. I follow him around. I do what he wants to do. I stay off my phone and let him call the shots. I’ve seen the difference that this makes in our interactions, and it’s my goal to keep it going strong.
3) Stop comparing.
Any other moms find themselves constantly comparing themselves to others? Or measuring your child’s development against other kids in their class? Or getting down on yourself because some family on Instagram seems to have it totally (and annoyingly) figured out? Ugh. I’m with you, and I’m making a point to squelch this nasty little habit this year. Social media is such a big part of my life, and I recognize that it’s also the root of lots of unnecessary negativity and comparison. So, I’m going to work on being happy to see others succeed without letting their best lives make me think less of my own.
4) Nourish yourself.
Okay, straight talk: I recently wrote down everything I ate for an entire week, and whoa mama do I have room for improvement. I’m making it a priority to nourish myself, and take baby steps along the way. I’m a super picky eater, so a full overhaul isn’t realistic. But I can add a vitamin here, more greens and clean protein there, and focus on my individual health versus chasing the latest diet trend. Nutrition is vital, especially for new moms as our bodies endure so much depletion — first from childbirth, then from breastfeeding, and then from motherhood in general. It’s exactly why I founded Bundle Organics, and why I plan to practice what I preach in 2020.
5) Keep moving.
This is the eternal resolution, am I right? My advice to myself and others is to make it less about weight and more about fitness and balance for our minds and bodies. I’m a total hot yoga fiend because it really centers me, makes my body feel great, and gives me a peaceful hour to myself. This year, I want to try and mix things up by exploring new workouts and even finding ways to have Sonny with me when I exercise.
1) Ditch the negative self-talk.
Am I cool enough to be here? Do I deserve this? What do they all think of me? This year, it’s my goal to answer these types of questions with another question: Who the heck cares?! It’s good to be self-aware, but it’s not good to be so consumed with what other people think that we miss out on opportunities to have fun and live our lives.
2) Appreciate your achievements.
Last year was a big one for my career, and it gave me the resources to (drumroll, please) REDO OUR BATHROOM! I worked so hard and was able to reward myself with something I enjoy every single day. And as someone who spends a lot of time in the bathroom, it feels so good to be in a beautiful space that I worked to create. I encourage everyone to embrace all your successes — from getting home in time to eat dinner with your kids to getting promoted or buying that killer accessory you’ve been saving for.
3) Be less sensitive.
Calling 2019 a “rollercoaster” doesn’t quite capture the sheer unpredictability and unsettling waves of emotions, opportunities, wins, fails, and fog that I experienced this past year. I’m a sensitive person by nature, which I like because it makes me empathetic and compassionate. But it also makes me read way too far into things, which leads me to spiral… a LOT. I want to work on taking people at their word, trusting their intentions, and not getting upset when it’s not productive and just drags me down.
4) Check in with people.
Here’s another resolution that makes my list most years. I think checking in can sometimes feel like checking a box, and I want to make it more meaningful. Calling a friend who’s struggling or just touching base with someone you don’t talk to very often is a way to remind them that you care. It’s that simple. It’s not about making tons of plans or constantly seeing every person you’ve ever met. It’s about staying connected and putting in the work to be a good friend to the people who matter in your life.
5) Stand up for others.
This year, I want to reach a place where I’m strong enough to stand up for myself and for others. I recently attended a Women in Entertainment event that raised money to send some remarkable female students to college, and it inspired me to do more with the influence that I carry. Sometimes I feel like my life is an endless episode of “The Whitney Show” and I just display my life on social media. But I want to use that reach to do more, make an impact, and mentor others. I’m not exactly sure what this will look like yet, but it’s a goal that will definitely guide my personal and professional decisions in 2020, so stay tuned.
With that, I wish you and yours a very Happy New Year and an epic start to the next decade. I hope it’s full of positivity, joy, and personal growth with only a few tiny bumps (or full-on freak outs) in between. #HumanGoals #MaybeBy2021