It’s been a rough couple of days for our gal Hannah on week 6 of The Bachelorette, but before anyone even thinks about doling out a pity rose to our Bachelorette, it’s imperative that we remember: This is one grown-ass woman. And more than that, she is one helluva strong one, too.
The episode kicks off with the guys hanging around the Scottish castle waiting to see whether or not Luke P. will return from his one-on-one date with Hannah. Garrett, who’s seemingly taken up a personal vendetta against the guy, quips that Hannah’s “a smart woman” who’ll hopefully see through Luke P.’s BS and kick him to the curb. “If they grab his suitcase and walk out that door…” he starts, before his bro Dylan finishes his thought for him: “... we might throw an actual party at this house." As though anyone ever needed an excuse to throw a rager in an old Scottish castle.
Meanwhile, Hannah is trying her darndest to shake off Luke P., who manages to be sad and angry and nonplussed at the same time when Hannah tells him, point-blank, “I don’t think there are any roads that lead to what I want, to what I really want. I can’t give you this rose.”
Luke blinks a few times and lets out an infuriating, “I’m very confused right now.” It’s hard to tell whether or not Hannah’s words have really made a dent in his perception of their relationship or not, because even as she continues to rail about how terrible their date was, Luke still seems focused on himself.
“I’ve been frustrated today too, mostly at myself,” he says, clearly still trying to pick and choose the right words to impress Hannah. He uses words like “ownership” and “move on,” but these empty phrases only serve to further frustrate our Bachelorette, and she unceremoniously sends him home with a hug.
Luke, clearly unused to rejection, doesn’t quite know how to compute what just happened as he walks out of the castle, and buries his face in his hand so as to not give away whatever odd facial expression he might have been making. “It’s a tough pill to swallow right now,” he says during a confessional. “I didn’t think this was going to happen to me, but here I am.”
And so, because he’s a man who’s used to getting what he wants, he just decides to come back… and get what he wants. Luke barges in on a clearly emotional Hannah looking morosey out the window and tells her a lot of nice-sounding things that no real-life person would ever say, like “I thought a tear would roll down my face” and “I thought you were going to put a rose on my coat” and “It was tearing me up” (anyone else wonder whether or not Luke P.’s ever seen that one scene from The Room?).
Then, he says more things, but one in particular is a huge red flag: “I’m crazy about you. I feel so strongly about you,” he says. “I genuinely want to marry you.” Um, what? Hannah just told you that she doesn’t see a path forward and you think you have a shot of wifing her up? Luke P., take that nonsense elsewhere.
But he doesn’t. Instead, Luke shows up back at the castle, and everyone looks pissed. Jed’s face. Dylan’s face. Mike’s face. It’s hard to tell who looks the most annoyed, but at very least, Luke P. admitting that Hannah told him they had “the worst one-on-one date” makes Grant laugh a little.
“I didn’t get a rose but Hannah says she still want me to be here, so I'm here,” he announces to the air — which, translated, means that Hannah’s lust for Luke have clearly overshadowed any logic that she might have about the situation. (“That says a lot,” Jed remarks at one point.) Or perhaps our gal has some tricks up her sleeve?
But it's too soon to tell, so back into the nitty gritty drama we go. Garrett tries to get Luke to admit that he talked about the other men during his one-on-one date, but he refuses to take the bait. Which, ultimately, just infuriates Garrett more. So much so that he leaves the room. “Just be a man about it, dude.”
Later that night, the men get ready for their pre-rose ceremony cocktail party, which is heavy with tension, even though most of the dudes are trying their best not to get roped into the drama. For some reason, Luke P. (with a fresh haircut!) still feels the need to address the assembled men as a group, but no one’s having it, least of all Garrett, who immediately whisks Hannah away when she gets to the castle.
Garrett entertains chit-chat about feelings and opening up for a few minutes before diving head-first into the drama with a weak apology/disclaimer for asking Hannah about the forbidden topic he’s about to broach: Luke P. and his slimy ways.
“I want to know if he stayed true to his word,” he explains to Hannah, in reference to Luke P.’s offhanded promise to keep other men’s names out of his mouth.
Hannah bristles a bit and admits that Luke had specifically named Mike, Devin, and Dylan during their one-on-one, but insists that he only did so at her insistence. Hmm. Sounds like someone’s trying to protect Luke P., and Garrett recognizes it too. But the pair only have time for a quick smooch before Hannah’s whisked off by Connor S., who politely asks to steal the Bachelorette away. Of course, Connor! So nice of you to say “please.”
Back with the guys, Garrett’s ready to tattle on Luke P., telling the men that — as expected — Luke was dishonest with them. This time, it’s mild-mannered Devin who takes issue with Luke’s unflattering name-dropping. “What did you say, dude?” he demands of Luke, who starts to stutter about suddenly remembering bringing their names up, even though he’d denied doing so earlier. The look on Mike’s face says everything, as the usually upbeat contestant does his best impression of a sleepy turtle. The mens’ yelling finally hits fever pitch, and Hannah stomps into the room, demanding that everyone “stop.”
“I will answer any question, so ask me,” she tells the roomful of men, or should we say boys? But when Devin starts to speak up, Luke interrupts, desperate to defend himself. It’s a pretty painful scene to witness, with Hannah trying to wrangle some sense of decorum into her remaining 12 men, with the he-said, he-said yelling matches only getting worse. Finally, with eyes welled with tears, she makes a hand signal for Luke to shut up and tells everyone to “Stay in your freakin’ lane.” Then she storms off.
Pilot Pete, ever the romantic, finally pipes up that it just plain “sucks” to see their gal so hurt. There’s a moment of silence as everyone recognizes Hannah’s hurt. But the calm doesn’t last for long. Soon, everyone’s back to yelling and pointing fingers before Hannah actually has to come back into the room a second time.
“I feel like everyone thinks it’s just Luke that makes me feel psycho and irritated right now, but it’s all of you,” she says, surprising everyone, most especially Grant, who doesn't seem like he has never made anyone feel psycho or irritated. “None of you know anything about me, and why I’m here and what makes me me … Nobody’s even asked because all we ever talk about is stupid shit.” It's so intense that Pilot Pete gets teary-eyed.
The men all sit and think about how they’ve all wronged Hannah, and seem to be of the consensus that they could all do better, which is a nice sentiment for a group of men to have when a woman is crying because of their collective failure. But when Garrett offers up an apology for being petty, Luke P. ruins the moment by dramatically accepting his apology as though it were offered up just for him.
“I’m appreciative of your apology, and let’s just stay in our lanes,” he says. The nerve of this guy. Jee-zus.
After a brief and altogether unhelpful conversation between Hannah and Chris Harrison (he suggests that all the guys hate Luke because they’re just jealous), it’s time for Hannah to hand out some mopey roses to the guys. Mike and Jed already have roses from their one-on-one and group date, respectively; everyone else is at risk of being sent home.
Connor S., Tyler C., Dustin, Peter, Dylan, Garrett, and… Luke P. (say it with me: ugggggghhhhh) all get roses, and Grant promptly looks like he’s about to throw up. He, Kevin, and Devin go home, and Hannah leaves her remaining men with a withering stare, which they deserve.
The next day, the remaining nine men jet off to Riga, Latvia (Hannah isn’t in any mood to act as tour guide, so the men try to get to know the city themselves), where they grab tense beers and try to reflect on what a disaster the previous night turned out to be. “I hope I never see Hannah that upset again,” Garrett says during a confessional.
But then, The Bachelorette laid a trap: Based on how the remainder of the episode plays out, Hannah is upset, and possibly in an irreversible way. And sure, when she and Chris sit down to chat away from the guys in Riga, she can hardly sputter a few words before getting teary-eyed from stress. It’s the most relatable we’ve seen our gal and, in a way, it's even more proof that she’s the grown-ass woman she says she is, one who isn’t afraid to call BS out when she sees it, and to cry if she feels like it.
“I don’t know if it’s going to work anymore,” she tells Chris. This seemed huge and important, but then...
The remainder of the episode is spent as a clip show. You know, the thing that died with '90s sitcoms? While we spent almost half of the Monday's episode reliving moments that didn't happen that long ago, Hannah used the look back at her journey thus far (Chris can’t resist slipping some of his favorite bloopers into the reel) to decide, obviously, to continue on with her search for love.
“I’ve lost a lot of hope, but I’m still holding on that there’s gotta be some good that comes out of this,” she tells Chris in the end. “It’s hard but I don’t give up. I’m gonna complain about it, because I’ve gotta be loud and be real about what I’m going through and my emotions, but I gotta see this through to the end.”
One of these men had better be worth all this nonsense.
Since This Is A Clip Show Now, Some Worthwhile Memories From The Recent Past:
During the bloopers portion of Chris' chat with Hannah back at the L.A. mansion, it’s revealed that Mike once split his pants while air guitaring with Hannah, and even called out for Chris when he was getting shocked during the labor pains group date.
Hannah reveals that she actually didn’t quite know where Pilot Pete “fell in the pack” during the first part of the season. She thought he was sweet, yes, but didn’t know if she felt as strongly for him as she did the other guys. That is, until he lifted her up and made out with her against a wall. “Boy did I see more of him!” she giggles.
Apparently, during night one of the season, Hannah was entertaining an unwelcome guest on her face all night: a zit she named Marcus. So when she sent Scott home early on in the evening, her wires must have gotten crossed, because she called Scott “Marcus,” telling the men that “Marcus is a piece of shit,” as she waved the first night reject out the door.