But at least Hannah’s feeling hopeful at the very beginning of the episode. She’s just recovered from her totally justified breakdown in Riga, Latvia, after having to yell at her remaining suitors to “stay in their lane” because (almost) everyone’s focus was so honed in on Luke’s bad behavior (Pilot Pete, however was and always is a complete and total angel). This week, however, post-Chris Harrison intervention, post-45-minute Bachelorette gag reel and clip show, Hannah’s ready for a fresh start.
She goes to church — possibly the same one where Luke prayed — and seems reaffirmed in what she’s doing on this godforsaken journey in the first place. “I want to find a man who fights for me, goes on adventures with me, and makes me feel loved,” she says during a confessional. Alright, Hannah Beast, and into the wild we go!
Back at the house, the men are gathered 'round and still peeved at Luke P. for hijacking their time with Hannah with his selfish shenanigans. So when the dude actually dares to speak, oblivious to the hurt and chaos he’s caused (“I think all of us need this week”), it sets a bad tone for how he’ll continue to act for the remainder of his time on the show.
But before this becomes a Luke P. recap yet again, it’s time for the first one-on-one date of the week, which goes to a bright blue sweater-clad Garrett, who’s stoked to see Hannah. “I have very strong feelings for the girl,” he admits as he tramps through the woods to meet his lady love. They greet each other with polite twangs and a kiss and walk through the woods some more until they come to a clearing and a body of water, above which a yellow cable car is hanging precariously.
And before Hannah can say, “Oh my freak,” a naked man and women bungee jump out of the cable car, butt-ass naked and gripping tightly onto each other. Hannah looks both stunned and thrilled, her smile frozen on her face. Garrett just looks terrified. Apparently, the naked couple tells Hannah and Garrett, this is something couples do in Latvia. Well then, kids, don’t be shy!
“My mom might kill me,” Hannah quips, but up they go, into the cable car, shedding layers as snowflakes begin to swirl. Garrett, ever the southern gentleman, tells Hannah that everything will be fine (even though his hammer is hangin’ in the wind at this point), and our Bachelorette bravely sheds her bra. Go time! The two fling themselves out of the cable car (“43 meters,” a crew member points out to the terrified pair) and scream the whole way down. Then, while they’re awkwardly dangling upside down, Garrett goes in for a kiss, telling Hannah to “come here, you beautiful woman.”
Later, as to be expected, they relate their fear of falling from such a great height to, well, falling in love (what would a proper Bachelorette date be without the cheesy metaphors, after all?). “You’re terrified but you’re also excited and happy that you took the risk,” Hannah babbles, all smiles now that she’s back on solid ground. “I feel closer,” Garrett mumbles as they warm up by a bonfire.
That night, Hannah dons her finest fuzzy pink coat for their dinner date, and the pair engage in a soul-searchingly deep conversation, opening up about their vulnerabilities in a real, authentic way. Garrett even gets brownie points when he dares to ask Hannah a question about her for a change, about what hurdles she’s had to encounter in life.
“Living my life for myself and not letting others control what I do,” she responds automatically, as audiences at home groan in unison. Okay, if that's true, then why are you keeping Luke P. around? Our Bachelorette also reveals that she’s afraid of rejection, but now has “the right weapons to bring to the battle.” Garrett then brings up growing up in a big football family but deciding to pursue a career in golf (what about Roll Tide?), and learning to carve his own path. Then he drops this doozy confession — the first of many this week — “I’m falling in love with you, big time.” Damn, G! No surprise here that Garrett gets the rose.
“Garrett feels like home,” Hannah says through her bright smile at the end of the date. “I feel back on track to find love.”
Back at the house, a group date card comes for Mike, Jed, Tyler, Dustin, Luke, Connor, and Dylan. “Let’s discover Riga,” the unusually straightforward card reads. Meaning that Pilot Peter (yeah, Pete!) will get the one-on-one.
When Garrett returns to the house, however, there’s one man who really doesn’t want to hear about his naked bungee jumping adventures with Hannah: Luke P. “Who would wanna be naked with that guy?” Luke scoffs. Um, excuse you. RUDE.
His jealousy doesn’t really bode well for the group date the next day, but perhaps surprisingly, it largely goes smoothly, with Hannah and her seven men roaming the markets of Riga. She eats a large pickle. Dustin eats a fish, and everyone gets a shot of moonshine (what time in the morning is it out there?). And the men are extra sweet and attentive, clearly having taken Hannah’s warning to heart: Tyler presents her with some roses, Jed steals a smooch or two, and even Luke seems like a decent guy — until the evening, that is.
During the evening portion of the group date, Luke pulls Hannah aside because he has something weighing heavy on his heart (oh boy). Turns out, our alpha male wasn’t too thrilled to hear that Hannah and Garrett were bumping uglies 43 meters above the water. “You’re not gonna like this,” he prefaces their talk, before launching into a whole slew of misogynistic, controlling verbiage.
“I know that your body is a temple, and I’m just thinking of you holding him bare-skinned,” he begins. “And it really pissed me off.” Hannah’s face falls into that resting annoyed face that she gets whenever she talks to Luke. He continues anyway, calling her behavior “a slap in the face” and a “boneheaded mistake,” and then turning around and throwing in a super confusing, “No matter what you do, I’m going to support you.”
Hannah isn’t having it, and holds her tongue — for the moment.
Tyler ends up getting the group date rose, much to Luke’s chagrin. And then it’s off to Hannah’s long-awaited one-on-one with sweet Pete, who looks so giddy for his date that he could just explode. Hannah’s excited too, and drops this great line: “He’s the guy you wanna see pushing the stroller in the park”
The pair embark on their Latvia-style spa day, which involves lots of ritualistic singing, herbs, and most importantly, near-nudity. At Pirts, where they’ll be receiving spa treatments and time in the sauna, they’re given flower and leaf crowns and told that it’s “an intimate place where you can open your heart.” Fantastic, because these two are so ready to get intimate that they take turns pinning each other in the sauna and making innuendos about the heat.
“I like a sweaty look,” Peter says at one point, before laying Hannah down completely on the sauna seat, a tad easier of a task than his grand pool table gesture. Later, he hilariously tells the cameras, “If this works out between her and I, we are 100% getting a sauna at our place.”
And the evening portion of their date goes just as swimmingly, with their sexual attraction giving way to some really deep, heartfelt conversation. Hannah lets slip that she’s been engaged twice and Peter admits that his job can be lonely, and the two are just two giggly peas in a pod and we’re so here for it. Then Pete decides to up the ante and deliver a phrase in Spanish that translates roughly to, “Son, don’t worry, don’t fret, let the waters run .... what’s meant for you will never be tarnished, because it will always be yours.” Goddamn, Peter. Way to lay it on thick!
Pete’s date reminds us, more than anything, that this is what the entire season could have been like — sweaty, sexy, heartfelt, meaningful — were it not for the drama of Luke P. (and Cam, to a much lesser extent, and Scott, to almost no extent). “You have no idea how much I’m falling for you right now,” sweet Pete says at the end of the night, fireworks blasting in the background. Swoon!
And then … there’s the rest of the week. Luke’s possessiveness over Hannah rubbed her the wrong way during the group date, and she wants to set the record straight on her character, and on their relationship. After Garrett and Luke hash things out in a maddeningly annoying conversation following the group date (at one point, Luke likens what he’s doing to driving a truck and seeing Hannah in a car with Garrett, which is totally not “staying in one’s lane”), Hannah takes matters into her own hands, coming to see the guys, and Luke specifically.
The two hide away in a different room on a different floor of the hotel, and Hannah confronts Luke about his poor choice of words last time they spoke. Particular phrases she brings up include “slap in the face,” “boneheaded mistake” and how he wants to “feel confident” about her meeting his family.
“You’re not my husband, you don’t own me, you don’t own my body, it’s my body,” Hannah declares as Luke stares at her with a blank look. The Dylan-proclaimed “douche canoe” counterstrikes with the most illogical sort of non-response possible, gaslighting Hannah and telling her that he’s “sorry he’s been misunderstood.”
“I am never gonna control you,” he says in a moment that no doubt sent all of Hannah’s red flags flapping. “I don’t know if you remember what I said,” he continues, saying other totally irrational things like, “I’m doing my best, and I don’t know if you can handle it.” Girl. This guy is not worth your time! But somehow, somehow, Hannah wants to continue on with this crazy journey with him anyway.
At the rose ceremony (no cocktail party, a morose Chris Harrison informs the men), Luke gets to stay, along with Jed, Mike, and Connor, meaning that Dylan and Dustin get the boot. (Garrett, Tyler, and Peter all already had date roses so were safe).
“Rejection’s a bitch,” Dustin says upon his exit interview. “For Luke to get a rose, the only thing I can come up with is that she’s already in love with him.” And you know, as loathe as we are to admit it, there must be some truth to that, because why else would Hannah keep someone around after being called “boneheaded”? Think, Hannah, think!
A Few Luke-less Bright Spots:
Hannah’s men are falling for her hard, and along with Garrett and Peter, Tyler also confessed his (almost) love for Hannah on this week’s episode. “She’s a strong woman and she’s got the ability to move mountains,” he says, later confessing, “When I’m with her, I just literally don’t think about anything else. It’s just me and her.” Hoo-boy does this set up some difficult decisions in coming weeks.
Jed pulls a major Say Anything moment when he steals away from the group following Peter’s date to serenade Hannah from beneath her window. Later, in her room, he croons some pretty smooth lyrics, including: “I wanna let these hands glide down your side … slide that dress up your thigh” and “Is it really a sin to be skin to skin?” And before he leaves for the night, he lets this bomb drop: “I really am falling in love with you.” Ahhh!
Jed’s songwriting skills aren’t only for Hannah. In a deleted scene, he and the guys gather around a piano as he improvises a song about Riga as Tyler (yes, almost-dance-major Tyler) starts doing a weird old man dance, but I'm weirdly into it. Get it, boo!