As everyone knows, the world is divided into two kinds of people: Those who enjoy SantaCon, the annual worldwide event in which scores of drunken people don Santa Claus costumes, take to the streets, and terrorize the good citizens of any participating metropolitan area, and those who do not.
Wondering where Congresswoman-elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is on the SantaCon binary? Like a true politician, she hasn’t revealed her own personal opinion of the controversial event, but she did offer a thought for those who are firmly against it.
On Saturday, the day of SantaCon, Ocasio-Cortez was asked on Twitter if she might be able to pass a law banning the event. She wasn’t quite sure about taking things that far, but she proposed an alternative to SantaCon: GrinchCon, a sober tea and coffee crawl where participants spread “peace and quiet” in their wake.
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I’m not sure, but maybe we can look into establishing GrinchCon - a tea + coffee crawl where people can spread peace and quiet everywhere they go ? https://t.co/rvuvf2qVLu
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@Ocasio2018) December 8, 2018
It should be noted that this proposal, while certainly a bold one, is more bipartisan than it may seem. It does not ban SantaCon outright — which would enrage many — but provides a separate event to occupy those who might otherwise spend their day hiding in their apartments, shaking their fists at joyous Santa cosplayers outside, and muttering some variation of “those damn kids.”
Nothing brings New Yorkers together quite like our collective revulsion of #SantaCon
— Justin Brannan (@JustinBrannan) December 8, 2018
happy santacon I am EXTREMELY STRESSED ABOUT WHATEVER IS HAPPENING HERE pic.twitter.com/rDKLjQ7JCL
— julia reinstein ? (@juliareinstein) December 9, 2017
Ladies, if he:
— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) December 8, 2018
- sneaks up on you out of nowhere
- always looks ridiculous
- is constantly drunk and/or high
- ruins your childhood memories of Christmas
... he's not your man, he's #Santacon
Commuting with all the Santas ? #SantaCon pic.twitter.com/CunnL4vdlK
— Georgie Barrat (@GeorgieBarrat) December 8, 2018
And, who knows — should GrinchCon actually come into effect, it might one day create a peaceful relationship between the Santas and Grinches of the world by unifying them over their love of cozy lined jackets.
So, let us all thank Ocasio-Cortez for bringing back the concept of bipartisanship in these troubled times. And, while we’re at it, let’s get her GrinchCon proposal to legislation, stat.